Glimmer of conscience from SD15? It'll pass
I took SS13 to secret shop for Father's Day. This is a challenge because as an autistic child it KILLS him to keep a secret! But he is learning and the 2 of us had a blast. I asked him to think of things dad does that we appreciate. Kid said, "Bes my friend." Heartmelt for CGU. I asked what we could give Dad to show how much we love him. "Write him a letter," he suggested. Score!
So skid picks out a gift and a card and I bought some stationery and had him write the letter in the car before we returned home.
Cornered SD15 the same day and invited her to go out for same purpose. Reminded her that Dad would be traveling on Father's Day so we were going to do it on a different day. She "errrrrrred" for a long moment. Then said, "I'll just make him something." I said, "OK, but I'll give you another chance next week if you change your mind." I did do so, same answer.
So early Father's Day is the very next day after her second chance, dh tells me that SD15 is going to the movies at 2 with her bf. Grrrrrrrrr. Dh does not know about early Father's Day but SD certainly damn does. She will be spending the morning alone with DH till noon on a regular activity they do every other week. So now Father's Day is going to be crammed in the small sliver of space between those 2 coming home at noon and DH having to schlep her 30 minutes away to meet her bf for a 2pm movie. CGU spitting bullets. Tongue bleeding.
When DH and SD15 came home at noon it was awesome! SS13 and I met them at the door with noisemakers and party hats. Then there was a pinata. SS13 couldn't wait to have Dad open his carefully chosen gifts/card/letter. My gifts, too. It was a blast! In the midst of the happy gift giving, Teen Queen blurted out "I'm still working on mine!" For a moment there, I think she really felt guilty that she was the only one who had not bothered to do a damn thing. Last year she didn't say that. This year she was actually having fun in spite of herself.
So I make sure we have our cake and hot dogs and ice cream and root beer floats all in a hurry so DH can actually have some fun with the pinata items and gifts before he has to cut it all short to ferry the Dark Queen out to her ill appointed rounds. But the afternoon wears on and there is no summons to put on his chauffeur cap and leave. Finally she emerges (she even showered!!!!!) from her room saying, "BF has to cancel."
The reason? Drumroll please........Early Father's Day at his house.....for STEPFATHER!
- ChiefGrownup's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Ha! On Mother's Day dh brings
Ha! On Mother's Day dh brings me flowers at 9pm -- after taking them (her) home! Couldn't acknowledge me in front of SD, that would be a crime!
SD15 even tried to make excuses saying she "didn't know" and couldn't have because "it isn't Father's Day yet." Called her out in front of DH. No way was I having him think I left her out.
Dh himself even said (not in front of skids) that he'll never see the supposed gift she's "making." He's getting more clarity on her.
I do think there is some PAS
I do think there is some PAS going on. Sometimes it's more blatant and sometimes more subtle. Ultimately, though, the last thing BM wants is skids on her hands full time so she does back off. Never since I've known them has she ever once wanted her own kids on Mother's Day. We always ask, she always says no. So she definitely does not want them fully PASed for the sole reason she'd then be stuck with them.
So SD tries to make things "even" by making sure her dad doesn't have Father's Day, either. But she cannot control me or SS13 so too bad, girly, life goes on whether you join the party or not.
Teenagers are hateful, awful
Teenagers are hateful, awful creatures! Were we ever this nasty from 13-20???
No. I can say 100% I was not
No. I can say 100% I was not and neither were my 4 siblings. Neither are the children I have known of friends or nieces/nephews. Neither are my husband's nephews. So I find it a horror show. All shock to me.
Right on, chica. I have a
Right on, chica.
I have a memory of my bff and I being in high school and taking our mothers out for lunch which us 2 teen girls organized, drove, and paid for. Would have been slightly older than SD is right now (she'll be 16 in weeks) cuz we had our licenses. SD is nooooooowhere near anything like that. Probably never will be.
Yes, ss13's growth as
Yes, ss13's growth as exhibited in this incident has been phenomenal. I know this will overall be a joyful memory for my dh, as I intended, largely because of ss13. So awesome.
SD15 had an agenda, which I may not have made clear. It was A) Show dad my contempt for him cuz he's so "mean" and cuz he got married and
Do not spend any time with CGU that I don't have to (so don't go shopping with her).
So the fact that her adored BF would do more for HIS STEPfather than she would do for her OWN father was like a thundering hammer of Thor to me. Why can't she learn from the BF that having a stepparent is perfectly normal? And that her BF's parents have WAY more expectations of him than her dad does of her, so how can he be "mean?" In fact, bf's parents are "cool!" Just ask her.
She was just trying to be mean but in the midst of it turned into a real person for tiny moment. Even dh doesn't expect she'll keep it up (being a person).
I love your happy story about
I love your happy story about SS13, CGU! It's wonderful how he prepared his gifts for Dad. Now I want party favors and a pinata, too! LOL As for Teen Queen, karma bit her a wee bit in the ass this time around. Not being ready with her gift for DH (because there wasn't one), and then hearing from BoyF that he was busy with HIS StepF! OMG that was a great ending to your story!!
~ Moon
Yes, maaaaa'aaaaam! It was a
Yes, maaaaa'aaaaam! It was a great ending!!!
The pinata was a blast, btw. Wish I could post a pic. I had the skids favorite candies inside and then a carefully chosen stocking stuffer for each person inside as well. Each person gravitated to their own item instantly and were enthralled. Very gratifying to Madame La Party Planner.
Have to say that what was
Have to say that what was also killing me was that SD15 was monopolizing DH most of the day (all morning alone with him on a fun activity that is for her) and then driving her to BM town for the afternoon. So she extracts all the juice out of him for the day -- WHILE SHE DOES NOTHING FOR HIM but take him away from his own celebration and from her brother who has actually prepared and been thoughtful and will only get an hour and a half with the man all day thanks to SD!
Her plans falling through were great karma.