Custody Batte part 1... I filed First
Recap: My ex wants to move my boys back to his school district. After emailing back and forth with my ex about the situation, he has drawn a line in the sand. He wants them in his district and I want them in mine, where they are currently enrolled.
I filed a petition to modify today. I am going for full custody for these reasons:
The best thing for our children is to provide a consistent environment. Our current arrangement is inconsistent and is no longer in their best interest. They are currently spending half of the week with me and the other half with my ex. This arrangement is confusing for them. Their bedtimes are different at each home, their homework routines are different, their morning routines are different, they have to wake earlier when they are with their Dad in order to allow enough time to commute to school.
They are unable to participate in extracurricular activities due to the inconvenient commute it would create for their Dad (his words).
I can provide a consistent environment and less disruption with full custody. They will have the same routine every day. They will be able to come home from school and have a parent or older sibling available to assist them with their school work. They will be able to participate in extracurricular activities.
Any advice or tips on how this is going to go down would be great. What should I expect. What should I watch out for? Thanks!
- Charly's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
How old are they? That will
How old are they? That will pretty much determine how this will go....SS13 sued his mom to live with us and won. SD16 sued us to live with BM and we gave up fighting because we couldn't win (she was 14).
Why can't you do one week on and one week off. Worked great for us for several years. As for the school, it should be whichever school district is the best.
They are 7. EXH lives 45
They are 7. EXH lives 45 minutes away from us. They are currently enrolled in the school in my town which is the better school district. Both of the boys' grades improved when they made the switch to my school district. They also do not have to have after school care any longer, they would have to have it with EXH. Nothing against after school care, just why pay for it if it's not needed.
One week on and one off wouldn't work because my EXH wants them in his school district. His reason is that them living in my school district is inconvenient for him.
You will need stats on the
You will need stats on the differences in school districts. Also, document everything he says and his pickups with the kids. Is he late? Does he cancel? Document everything.
You also need to be willing for him to have them every weekend....If you show compromise that helps. But, be prepared for this to get drawn out and not resolved for awhile. The lawyers drag this stuff out....
This. ^
This. ^
From what I understand (and
From what I understand (and correct me if I'm wrong) the trouble is that the CO right now has school decisions being made 50/50, saying that both parents have to find a way to agree.
Now, they don't agree. He wants them in his district, she wants them in hers. The CO doesn't give either of them the power here.
And I'd have to agree with her that splitting time the way they are now doesn't work very well. How unfortunate for the kids to never get to participate in extracurriculars because Dad lives far away and doesn't feel like driving? It may not have been an issue in the past, but it will certainly be a bigger issue as the kids get older.
It just seems like the CO would have worked out great a few years ago, but needs to be updated for the kids' current ages and the circumstances.
Even if they did all school week at Mom's house and all weekend at Dad's, it would work out way better than it is now
Yes, you are correct, the
Yes, you are correct, the current CO is joint power, so we disagree and neither of us has the power, that's part of the reason I am going for full custody.
Ripley, I agree, the kids need us both. I am not trying to make it where he never see's them, I am just trying to get primary custody, with him having standard visitation, on weekends and summers. If the CO said that I had the exclusive right to determine their school, I would have said exactly what you suggested, unfortunately, it doesnt. It is very loosly written because we agreed at the time we divorced and had a good coparenting relationship...obviously, that has changed.
Thanks for the advice! Just trying to prepare myself for this situation.
I agree, in the beginning, we
I agree, in the beginning, we were in a good place and we both agreed on what was in the best interest for the kids. He now has a girlfriend and all of a sudden things changed. He started making demands about visitation times and his whole attitude has changed. I don't know what's going on...
DGG, You hit the nail on the
DGG, You hit the nail on the head. We were in agreement until he met the girl.
I have emails back and forth with him giving me the reasons he wants to move them back. His reasons are he's not happy with the arrangement, he thinks his school would be better for them, and safer. (I happen to live in one of the best school districts in the state)
I keep asking him for reasons why its in the kids best interest and he's coming up empty.
DGG- You bring up great
DGG- You bring up great points. I know there will be things in the CO I will not be happy with, but I know that there will be things that will go my way. I just want to do what's in the best interest of my kids. I know they need time with their Dad, and he is a great Dad. I have nothing negative to say about the love he has for his kids.
Thanks for the warning, I know this will be a long and hard battle.