Some things got me thinking
I am a full time SM with no children of my own and not able to have any (thanks to a stupid DH when married to EX). Anyways when DH and I first started dating he had EOW visit and some school holidays, things were great. He was attentive to his daughter and we did things as a family.
Now fast forward a few years. DH and I get married and about 10mos after that SD moves in with us at the age of 9. Things are okay I am given full permission to treat SD like she is mine and we all fall into place. So you might as what is the problem.
SD is now 12 DH and I don't do anything as a family any more. It has all fallen on me to take care of SD and entertain her, she doesn't even ask DH to do things any more as he always says no because the show on tv is so much more important. What the F*&! happened and when did it happen. I will never have the opportunity to have a child of my own and I have pretty much accepted that, but then why the hell should I have to raise my SD as a single parent, like I said DH doesn't/won't do things with her unless I push him. We are suppose to go and get the custody order officially changed, yes we have had SD living with us for 3 years and still BM is considered primary (don't ask). Anyways I just want to ask my DH why he wants SD to live with us. We don't do things as a family and DH and I are much closer to each other when SD is not around. In fact when DH plans a trip it is for just him and I, when I plan a trip it is for all 3. I am just frustrated and I have started disengaging, but when I see SD having 2 parents who don't give a shit about what happens to her it just pisses me off. I want the man I started dating back and not the one I married.
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You are living my worst
You are living my worst nighmare! Love SO but can't commit to this whole marriage thing. Already did it... The fskids are great but living with us??? Wow what a scarry tought. FSD10 is daddy's little girl and I know someday will want to live with us. I have alreay raised my daughter. Been there done that don't want to do it again. Great kid for now, but not mine. I feel so bad for you. But you have reinforced my thoughts to stay single. Love you but can't marry you until your kids are grown.
I also am afraid my so will change if his kids want to live with him.