I know it's not happening, but it STILL gives me anxiety.
BM posted on her FB page today that she is SO excited to "pick up my son...very soon". Well, she can't. But the fact that she even put that out there makes me uneasy.
She hasn't contacted DH in over a year. I did have contact with her several months back, but it was only about health insurance. It lasted about a week. And it wasn't terribly pleasant. She didn't even ask how SS is doing. Just gave me a ton of attitude and bitchy responses.
She thinks she can just come pick him up? She must have bumped her damn head. Not only NO, but seriously, it's court ordered that she can't. She's got another thing coming if she thinks SS would just get in a car with her. He won't. She can't pick him up from school. She doesn't even know his schedule, nor is she in the system as his parent. IF he did leave school when school got out (which he doesn't) she wouldn't have a clue as to where he would go to catch his ride. And again, he would never get in a car with her.
But still, just the THOUGHT that she has something brewing in her burnt out little brain, makes me anxious.
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I know that feeling and I
I know that feeling and I have much sympathy for you. You know SS wouldn't go with her so try and take deep breaths and put it out of your mind.
I'm trying Bearcub... reading
I'm trying Bearcub... reading the texts helped. He's so smart.
Delusional woman. Things like
Delusional woman. Things like that definitely put me on edge too. I wonder if she was thinking about seeing him around Christmas...although she still just wishful hallucinations on her part if she’s still living the way she was with methman.
He actually does want to see
He actually does want to see her around Christmas, and I have assured him that we can make that happen, but WITHIN THE LAW. It will be with her dad, and for as long (or short) a time period as SS is comfortable with. He's a sweet boy and he doesn't want to hurt her feelings and not see her for Christmas. It likely won't be on Christmas day (or Eve for that matter) last year it was on the 21st. But it will be around that time.
It certainly WON'T be her picking him up and taking him ANYWHERE. Her dad won't be around Methman, he hates him as much as we do. SS has NOT told BM that he wants to see her. He just mentioned it to me, because he knows I will make it happen within HIS comfort level. I give NO shits what she wants.
Oh for f##ks sake. What is it
Oh for f##ks sake. What is it with this woman and her craziness?
I feel so bad for you, I know how much you love that kid.
The good news is he has a good head on his shoulders, he knows that she has problems and despite all that, he still wants to see her for a short time on Christmas so as not to hurt her feelings.
That means he’s a kind, considerate and loving child. And he has you to thank for that
Thank you WOB, that means a
Thank you WOB, that means a lot to me. I do love him. And I'd walk through fire to keep him safe.
My hope is everything goes
My hope is everything goes well for the boy during her time.
Maybe she changed....? One can only hope so.
Keep us posted.
It's not likely that she has
It's not likely that she has changed. However... IF she has, she would have a lot of PROVING herself to do before she could just come pick SS up. Like completing the court ordered rehab that the judge stipulated for. Along with making SS feel at all comfortable, even after the REHAB, he is plenty old enough to say he doesn't want to be alone with her. She also would have to get insurance, and her drivers license. Minor details.
I can understand the worry
I can understand the worry even if everything tells you she can't.
This summer we were paranoid that BM would figure out where we had the kids enrolled for day camp. Given only 3 people other than the kids knew and there was little to no chance they would know what to tell her if she asked the name of the place. It still scared the crap out of us.
SO has worked with his oldest on personal protection and we've talked about teaching them more stuff to ensure they can stay safe BUT the thing is in our case they would just get in the car with BM.
She's has primary right now but we were scared she'd take them the first week of SO's summer time and just vanish. She's not exactly glued to where she is and she's crazy enough I could see her doing it if she ever felt threatened. She doesn't think SO should have the kids at all unless she wants to go party so that doesn't help.
I get that. I always have
I get that. I always have that underlying anxiety from not trusting her crazy. Crap like this just makes it shoot through the roof.
Hugs, that woman is a nut
Hugs, that woman is a nut job. I would be worried to. Are you going to say something to step son?
We were going to... but then
We were going to... but then last night I read the texts she sent yesterday and his response. She hasn't said anything to him about picking him up and he is his usual one word answers, and ignoring her phone calls. He gets it. He won't go anywhere with her. We may mention it in passing but I'm not concerned with him feeling like he has to. He knows better.
I can definitely commiserate
I can definitely commiserate with you on the anxiety. My situation is different due to it being my biological sons and their estranged stepsister. Screenshot the FB page. Let the school know, and make sure they have a copy of that court order.
My estranged SD attempted to speak with my YBS over the telephone at school, then tried with OBS via phone and the internet gaming site he uses. The boys have been told that they can have contact with her once they turn 18. They know she is toxic. Her call to YBS was intercepted by his teacher as he was in 5th grade. She actually did get through to OBS, and he asked the deputy on duty at the school to call me. The schools now know that the relationship between the boys and SD has ended and that no call is to be given to either of them.
Wow, that's pretty intense.
Wow, that's pretty intense. She sounds like a real peach.
I would've replied - Oh NO
I would've replied - Oh NO you can't as per court order, stop telling people what a great mother you are if you have not seen your son in a year...
I wish I could. But I see her
I wish I could. But I see her FB through a friends FB, I don't want to get her blocked, then I would have no way of knowing when she is up to crap like this.
BM technically has primary
BM technically has primary physical in our situation... She signed a paper (not technically legal since not notarized and could basically only be used in a custody case to prove she willingly walked away, she doesn't need to know that...) handing her custody over... But I literally live with this weird anxiety of not having something solid and what if she just shows up and takes the Skids and they go back to that s***hole and technically we can't do anything about it... They got sick all the time, didn't have clothes that fit.. It's completely covered in cat pee and feces and she's borderline emotionally abusive... So I completely understand...
IT sucks.
IT sucks.
Makes me SO frustrated with
Makes me SO frustrated with the court system... Like I wish they'd actually investigate and do background checks and realize if a parent is crazy and not parenting maybe FOR THE GOOD OF THE KID something more permanent might need to happen... For instance, if a parent never took care of the children, and constantly shows issues or neglect, why in the world do we think it's healthy for the kid to be around that without the parent cleaning up their s***?
I'm sorry you have to sit through all this and watch... It does suck. A lot.
I have a feeling her "posts"
I have a feeling her "posts" are just her trying to stir up the sympathy...meth ex used to do this, post cryptic sh@t and then she would garner all the "likes" and comments to sooth her fevered meth brain.
One of my favorites by far was "Well my daughter just ruined months and months of planning by telling her father the truth of us taking him back to court..hope she enjoys living there till she's 18!" Followed up a few minutes later by "I love my daughter so much, I will continue to fight for you baby girl no matter what, your worthless father won't take us down!"....next morning the one about ruining things was gone, but the other was still there with all the "oh we are with your guuuurl!" and "yes take that douche bag down!"...etc.
I really think your BM is just blowing smoke...or in this instance meth!
I hope you are right.
I hope you are right. Although she did tell SS a few weeks ago that she was going to be able to pick him up soon and "things will change when I get my car".
On that note, I wish this woman would stop enabling her. Who just buys someone a car? They aren't friends, they aren't family. It's just weird.
Enablers buy these people
Enablers buy these people cars. We had people tell us just how bad meth ex looked, and how we should be trying to help her, her father kept buying her cars everytime she wrecked one. Sadly alot of people believe that if they "help" these people then they will want to do better...hell the judge would even say that to meth ex everytime in court! "I'm rewarding you over night visits, I hope this helps you try to be better!" nobody realizes it doesn't help, drug addicts only care about one thing, DRUGS!
People just don't get it.
People just don't get it. BM's dad enabled her for YEARS. Literally gave her 50% of his income one year. He stopped a few years back. That's when she FINALLY started toward rock bottom. No one to pay her rent anymore. Then, this lady comes along and saves her again. Ugh. STOP IT!