I have posted and explained the HELL I went threw with DH and his fauxSGD. She has RADs. She has attacked me more times then I can count, gone after my pets and my bios. Threatened, hit, kicked, punched threw everything, slammed doors into me. It was so bad at one point I couldn't wear shorts or a 2 piece bathing suit because of the bruises. It caused fights behind DH and I but I made it very clear she is not allowed to touch my pets or even be in the same room as bios.
So everything in the world became about her feelings according to DH. I asked him to take a man role model roll with DD has she needed it. His response was what about fuaxSGD? So I said fine, I'll get her into big brothers big sisters. Now that made DH feel bad because Well I not sure why. One example out of 1000000
One time fauxSGD got in DDs face over the fact the fauxSGD was claiming the seat next to DH. I embarrassed the hell out of her. Stay out of my kids personal space and we don't have an issue. DH was boiling mad that I embarrassed fauxSGD. Oh well deal with it.
In December 2014 ( this is where my one year comes from) DH flips out. Seriously went crazy. My kids were at BF as I had the 1st half of Christmas break he had the second. So just DH and I. He left for the night. Contacted me in the morning and I told him he must go to counseling. He has admitted he was taking a ton of 2 different pain meds. Both controlled. He had been seeing and hearing things for weeks. Prior to this he had spent 90% of his time in bed for 6 months.
So now. He claims he let his walls down for me. But other times says they fell because he was overwhelmed depressed and unable to keep them up. I am told I'm to blame for all issues in our marriage because I won't put my walls down and I apparently treat him like crap. I asked him to ask himself why I don't trust him. Why my walls are up? Why would I trust that he isn't going to leave again. He has been using that as a trump card since December. He gets mad and I'm to blame.
My feelings have been last for a while. He says everything now that I used to say to him. He would put me on a shelf for when FauxSD was asleep. He gave her more hugs in a day then me. Since she went back to her moms he has been on this kick that he has no say over my kids and isn't even a step dad. I have tried to get him to see our relationship can and should be seperate from the kids. But with fauxSGD he would go to work for 3 days, come home and reward her. Didn't matter that she had been a living nightmare. He tries to compare my son to her. He is actually a pretty good kid. Not perfect but not a nightmare. I have posted some of the reasons I pulled the plug on his and DDs relationship. One of the big ones, he was talking about our marriage issues to her and using her like he did fauxSGD. Wanted her to be his emotional support and on her side. I flipped out and stopped it all. Now I'm told I'm just jealous that she was closer to him then me. WTF?? Really? I asked him point blank why would any normal adult try to get in between a mom/daughter relationship? Of course I'm being dramatic.
Somehow some way, he has flipped this all. I even told him, if he was honest to himself and could even see how many promises he has broken just in the last 6 months maybe he would start to understand why I don't trust or respect him. That is of course saying EVERYTHING is his fault.
I laid it out when it comes to my kids. Told him he did the same shit with fauxSGD. He wants me to back him, but he doesn't back me. He wants all the authority, all the credit none of the responsibility. I have taken fauxSGD to counseling, dentist, doctors. I was involved with her school for 1 yr. I learned better on that. I have invited DH to DD and DS appointments. He never goes.
DS went to his bi-yearly dentist appointment. Dentist told me and him he had 6 baby teeth that needed to come out. Either DS could wiggle and get them out or dentist would have to. The adult teeth were visible when DS got them out. DH refuses to listen to logic. He is convinced DS was pulling his teeth as an obsession and something is very wrong with him. No explaining matters. His feelings MUST be heard. I shut that crap down. Which of course means I don't care about DHs opinions.
The dentist thing is one of hundreds of examples of the crap DH is doing. Now he is on a kick that DS is self harming. Why? Because he plays up injured with BF for attention. DS being a boy, tryin to do tricks on his bike hit a tree. He scrapped himself. Not anything horrible. DH was convinced he did it on purpose. And that I baby DS. He came to me while I was smoking told me, showed me his bleeding hand said he crashed his bike. I said omg, how did you do that? And went to clean him up. Done. You would think. Nope. Apparently DH thinks I over reacted and should have not done anything. His version I said OMG!!!! Threw my cigarette and ran inside. I was pretty calm. But if I give DS any attention in always up his ass. He is homeschooled, has OCD and Aspeigers. I monitor my kids. I parent them. I check on chores and school and counseling. It is called parenting. Not the let them be and do whatever they want crap DH does.
This has gotten long. It was really more just about writing it out.
School year ends tomorrow for DS. It's my weekend with them. We are going to have fun and Monday I'm going to start putting together my resume. I'm going to look for a bar tending job and an EMT basic course. That way I can get some more money coming in and once I have my EMT license I can apply as an ER tech. Yes, I read what I wrote. I do see where this is going. No where good. So, I have 2 1/2 months of summer to get my shit together. If you made it this far, thanks. Writing helps me.