I choose not to say anything to my family. No one in my family is living the blended family dream, so nobody would understand. And the last thing I want is the "told ya so" from any of them living their perfect lives.

I don't share any of the drama with my family either. I used to talk to my mom, years ago. But, then lots of things changed unrelated to the step-situation. I had to stop talking to her about any of it.

Here is the only place where I seem to be part of a shared sisterhood (with the occasional brother thrown in!)

When days are particularly difficult, I don't have to say a word. I can just read here, and feel better. No one in my family lives like this.

Honestly, they might be tired of HOW you communicate your issues? Maybe?

I can vent to my mom and sister, and they get it. I think it's how I vent and communicate to them...I can communicate negative situations without being negative...Sometimes, just communicating a situation with SD is all it takes...If I just say it without emotion...without negative words...they get it...I don't have to embellish it in any way...I don't have to communicate my frustration...If that makes sense...It also helps that I might vent to them every once in a while, so whenever I talk to them, they don't expect to hear about SD all the time...And sometimes...even when there is something bothering me, I don't always talk about it to them...

I also think I have an unfair advantage, as my sister is a therapist, lol and she's taught me some things about disengaging, and communication...

But at the end of the day, I wouldn't discount what you're family is saying and how they feel about this situation...If you look at it honestly, there might be something there for you to learn about yourself and help you to not be so emotionally invested, maybe...

I am going to say that people....even our loving familes just don't want to take on our stress. They will if it is a one time event or something tragic has happended but THEY DO NOT WANT THE CONSTANT. No one does, not family, not friends. Unless you are divorced and have a situation where one of the parties just can't let go, people don't really get it. The standard response we will get if they can see that it's still happening" is...."when will it every stop and they will get a life, you must be sick of it by now, cause we are and we don't live in your house."

We don't talk about our ex's or kids anymore and to the point not even with each other. We just don't focus on it anymore. We use to talk and talk and come up with plans and so forth and NONE of it worked. When we planned how to deal with it and when it failed it only caused us even more stress and resentment. So now we just deal with the ex's on VERY minimal bases and guess what life actually still goes on. I deal with mine, he deals with his. Even with our kids we deal with it that way. As a bio-parent you have way more patients and understand for your own kids. Use this site to vent. I came here to get help and saw that many people have similar stuff so this has been a great outlet for myself. I can vent or just talk and also see other peoples thoughts......it has really helped.

So my suggestion would be to just stop talking about it and if you want to move-out and feel that strongly about his kids then you should move-out. If not for you but for those kids becasue they will feel that resentment which might also contribute to their behaviour in your home. Kids can sense that stuff. It is a hard life to pick and if you don't want to then Don't. I wouldn't wish this life on anyone. You get divorced to apperantly be happier.....now I wonder? I wish you all the best.

I can relate.

My family isn't the problem. They know me and they know that I went into this with a wide open heart and wide open eyes. They also know that I'm not giving up and that when I need to blow off steam, they listen. Nod, smile and just keep quiet.

My friends however are a whole 'nother story! None of my friends have step children. And when I try to vent a bit about some of the more annoying aspects of my life with SS15 (not the big stuff - but you know the stupid little things that get up under your skin and you can't let it go - even though in your logical brain you KNOW it is a stupid little thing and yes you are truly over reacting...yeah - that kind of stuff!), they poo-poo me. Telling me that either I "just don't get boys" and "I'm sure he's normal..." OR that I need to "just relax and everything will be fine".

Seriously. Just relax?

After one particularly irritating event (the boy tried to tell me that my DH and I shouldn't be having sex when he is home and/or not sleeping...heh) I tried venting and one of my girlfriends actually suggested that I should try to compromise on this with him. WHAT? yeah. not a freakin' chance. My sex life is NOT up for discussion with a 15 year old. PERIOD.

Since then - I don't talk about SS with them. They really just don't GET IT. And that's ok. They are still great friends. But I found this place and it is my haven. It has allowed me to realize that my issues with SS are not as bad as they could be. It has made me thankful that my DH and I are on the same page about how SS is managed. And so much more.

Hang in there!