It's been some very hectic and emotional days for sure.  SD stopped by yesterday w/a in-home DNA test as wanted to know for herself...well BM is pushing her of course,\ but she has every right...so DH did it and now awaiting results. 

We have not talked to MIL- SD is busy looking for a place to live.  However if MIL wants to play hardball, let her...let her go through the eviction process. We told her to keep paying rent and to get a receipt each time.  We dont' want her there but there aren't many options in the next month/two.  We don't have any room.  BM offered for her to be there w/her but she is far away from SD's job and the baby daddy...plus BM broke up w/her fiance and is toying around w/her ex-meth/felon bf again...which SD told her if she does, she will cut ties w/her entirely like she did previously (when BM lost custody)...BM is nuts though and so who knows.  SD doesn't seem to have many options or much money saved up, with her splitting up w/her guy it'll be harder.  

I always knew MIL was toxic, but I think I've finally figured it out.  She is a narcissist.  A different 'kind' that my ex-mil and exh...but still.  The constant triangulation and pitting family against eachother, always placing herself as the center of attention and victim status...the dangling the house/finances in exchange for services...the burdening her sons w/adult matters and hate talk against all family...the selfishness, the rages she erupts to when she is called out or questioned and the memory doesn't match her fabrications. 

It's all so sad, my dh lost his mom, the family is fractured badly. At least SD has been around quite a bit and doesn't seem to be mad with DH, she is mad at MIL for telling her and in that manner....she says she would have rather never known. 

We look back at all the issues w/my BIL over the years, and know for sure MIL created the distance and ill-feelings between them, at the center of it all.  There's SO much more but it's exhausting to even try and cover it all.