This is already twice this year. They no showed for Thanksgiving and now Christmas. This was AFTER they came by Christmas Eve to see him (outside they didn't come in) about how they were coming over. So I made extra food, lots of it. I kept pressing dh to tell me if they were coming over a week prior and leading up. Frustrated beyond belief. But, he knows them. Since FIL died and BIL's wife divorced him the two are enmeshed in their grief, depression and dysfunction and rarely leave the house.

DH was beyond pissed-he was surprised but happy they said they would come over Christmas day to begin with. When 4pm rolls around (time we said to gather) MIL said BIL was sleeping and probably down because this time of year is when he caught his wife w/another guy (2 years ago people!). They might come later or today for leftover s (yeah, NO- if you can't show when we INVITE you and I cooked my ass off, don't show for leftovers). DH offered to go pick her up and said well leave him sleeping, you come mom, I'm 3 min drive, I'll pick you up.

She said "No, that's ok"- her excuse out. So yeah let's worry about BIL all the time and not about your other son ever.
SD never showed either, spent it w/her boyfriend at his house. She might come by for leftovers today. Yep, he has a shit family.

My mom came by and my ex brought my sons home on time, we had a wonderful dinner. My brother was spending w/his wife/family and we didn't feel like a big huge crowd so kept it simple.

Btw, thanksgiving they did the same, we cooked all day and they couldn't be bothered. I'm sorry but I suffer w/depression at times also-they use it as a crutch to be hermits and wallow in their misery and can't even give of their time to drive 3 mins over to spend w/us? FUCK them- I'm pretty pissed today.