Need to vent, SO sister what was she thinking???

Ok, I am new to this whole soon to be SM and having a SS. Anyway SO and I were in Maryland this weekend for one night cause he is down there for work so I went to visit him. I live by myself not with SO and SS. SS is in the care of the grandparents while dad is out of town for work. Well SO's sister has been taking SS on the weekends for the last few weeks and helping out while SO is out of town. She does this of her own free will no one asks her to.

We did a video call while we were in Maryland with the SS who was at the aunt's house. I guess the SS has been sick this weekend with a sore throat and a cough fri and sat. We called sunday and he still sounded a little sick and he said his aunt was taking him to one of those bounce places for him to play. All I thought was that sounds like a bad idea cause he is sick but I do not say anything cause not my place SO didn't say anything either not sure why. Even if we both said something like do not let me him go I think she may have still taken him not sure.

Besides that I am just sitting here thinking you wanted to take him all weekend even though he was sick so he is your responsibility. Now today Monday on a school day he is even worse and missing school and going to the doctor's. I am just like come on people common sense please? Sick kid keep home and let him get better so he does not miss school. I am struggling because I know in a few months I will be able to to keep him home and make sure he is better. MY SO is totally on board with both of us making the rules and sticking to them and working at it as a team.

BM not in the picture and not around at all.

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TBH, He very likely didn't

TBH, He very likely didn't get "sicker" by going to the bounce place. However, he did spread his disease to the other kids... which IS callous of the sister to do that to other families.

Generally, an illness like cold or virus will just run it's course unless it needs antibiotics. Yes, rest is important.. but also isolation to not infect others.

Ehh learn fast to not worry

Ehh learn fast to not worry about it.

Just wait until you guys are living together, and family comes to get ss and you know nothing about it.

Used to happen to me all the time. Its gotten a little better, but i still feel like mil does not care if i know, or what my plans are.

If SO is on board i hope for you, he holds true to his word.

Thanks I will have to keep

Thanks I will have to keep that in mind. Luckily for me the future MIL and FIL are moving to Florida so I do not have to worry about them too much. Future SIL I am still not sure about this one. I am waiting to see if she just comes and takes him or just shows up because she is bore at home alone. IDK, I do not she is single 34 and has my future SS like every weekend lately, No because of his job and to save money to buy his own house SO lives with his parents so the weekends she does not have my soon to SS she us up at the house instead.

I find this odd. That just might be me.

Thank You for the advice.

Thank You for the advice. Yeah maybe I do not need to complain about silly little things, I will be sure to keep that in my mind come future venting. I do see alot of people do it and I am not just complaining to join in. I just needed to get it out there.

No nothing came of the whole situation because I typically keep my mouth shut cause I do not want to stir up conflict. I know the common cold has no cure I have had one myself before. I also know keeping a kid home and resting is also better than jumping around, getting all worked up, and as said by another possibly getting other kids sick.

Yes auntie should have got him medicine, maybe she did. As an aunt myself I understand the urge to give a nephew everything because you just want to see them have fun. He was in her care and I just feel she should have been more responsible she is 34. Lately she has been going super overboard with all the super fun activities like every single weekend almost, I think i is because we will all be moving in together soon not really sure. She never says no, I get it I do, there is a small part of me that is just like oh boy he gets everything he wants.

The first few months of living together will be interesting.

I get what you are saying and

I get what you are saying and you may be right about me getting the short end of everything. I have no clue what the future holds. The auntie does not live with SO and SS she has her own house where she lives. She is nice to me right now and is considerate. She does spoil him that I know and have witnessed she has no kids of her own or a boyfriend. Not sure why I do not ask about that not my life.

I love my SO and his son very much that is why I am putting myself into this situation. My SO and I discuss alot of things and talk about alot of stuff moving forward. While not everything we say will stick at least we talk. I think that is half the battle sometimes in relationships. He is a good guy and no he does not let everyone else raise his son. When he is home which is like 2/3 of the year. He is fully there and does everything for his son. When he is gone he video calls at least once a week more like twice.

I have suggested to SO a few

I have suggested to SO a few things he should do. I really have and him looking for a new job that will have him home all the time will be one big step towards him parenting alot more than he already does. I told he he needs to check in more when he is on the road and have a better idea of what is going on back home. I also told him I will not just be there to fill the gap, when your parents do move to FL. I know I can say alot of things and maybe they will come true probably not all of them.

The whole family dynamic is a little different truthfully, not what I am use to with my family. SS was sick this weekend and no one even told his dad. Yeah just a cold but I think I would have said something. They all do not really communicate with one another, my SO has even said that is true and so has the Auntie, I did not even ask they just told me this. The whole family has said it, yet no one does anything different. Just odd to me.

^^^^ this ^^^^

I do not say anything to her

I do not say anything to her ever. I keep my mouth shut when I am around everyone for the most part. I know she love the boy and had been great these last few years. I am just frustrated is all and I guess from here on out I will just accept it and be like whatever and secretly in my be screaming and picturing running like the roadrunner far far away.

I wont really run. It just seems like ever since we started looking for a place to live the auntie has become even more attached to the boy. I honestly am o.k. with it for the most part. This coming weekend SO is finally home and will start the process of looking for a new job. YAY! It is the first weekend in a while that SO, SS and I will be able to spend some time together. SO wants me there and so does SS and I even said I would stay home so SO and SS could have their own time together, I am going up.

The auntie and I were texting back and forth cause I wanted to to up a little early and help SS make like a welcome home daddy sign, he likes drawing pictures and things like that. I wanted to be sure he would be there, that is when she said yeah he will it will just be your and SS for the day. Than she said she will be up for dinner, in my experience that means she will also be sleeping over (not totally sure).

I am conflicted cause part me is like wow she is starting to you know except that I will be playing some type of role in this little boys life, not saying mom. The other part of me is like you have been around the last three weekends, had SS spend the night at your place and everything. It is one weekend, just one, than you will see him all the weekend after that because it is Thanksgiving. Trust me, I just said to her ok see you Saturday it will be nice to have a big family dinner. Trust me I am nice to, and I do not say anything to her or anyone else. My SO some but I just tell him to ignore me I am venting. I still keep some things to myself.

In many ways I am grateful for her, I really am because of her my SO and were able to have time just the two of us in the beginning of our relationship and really got to spend time together. I do appreciate her maybe I should say that more on here. As things between him and I get more serious it just seems like she is trying to find where she fits into the dynamic, she does not want anything to change. I get that I really do but for that to happen I would have to walk away and not be with my SO.

I am not trying to replace this little boys mom. He also have never known her and she gave him to my SO when he was like a few months old, he knows she exists because there is a picture of her from the one birthday. She still was hardly ever been around he does not remember her at all.

What is the disengaging

What is the disengaging essay??? I will read the book maybe it will help. I know not everyone on here is being harsh they are just trying to help I get that. I honestly have no clue what to expect when we move in together. My SO says what he wants and how he wants things to be and I am like ok. I do not really see some of that happening.

SO does not give the boy everything he wants and asks for, it is mostly the gparents and auntie that do not say no to him. I do keep my mouth shut when I am around everyone and just sit and watch even though it is hard at times.

Thank you for the advice and suggesting some things to read.

http://www.steptogether.org/d

http://www.steptogether.org/disengaging.html

this will help you

LOL, I liked some parts in

LOL, I liked some parts in that essay it is pretty funny. I will also read the book. Disengaging is not a bad idea, who knows maybe I will have to be like that when we live in the same house. Right now soon to be SS does respect me, and he is really nice to me and I know that will change when we live together.

I guess I am trying to get as much advice possible before we live together so I can be prepared. I know I can not predict everything that will happen and things will be different but maybe all this will help me to keep an open mind moving forward.

Thank You.

Hon rather disengage now,

Hon rather disengage now, your SS is still very young, believe me when they turn into teens they all are the Devil self, regardless if it's bio or step...

simply let the parent do the parenting and you only do what you want

Yeah I here ya. I was a

Yeah I here ya. I was a hellish teen, really thought my mom and stepdad were going to send me to a bootcamp.

You are here

Need to vent, SO sister what was she thinking???

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