I think I am starting to dislike her
We tell her to back off her best friend's boyfriend. She writes him all this "never leave me I love you you're my bro" creepy shit, tells him her life is horrible with her parents (WTF she gets what she wants, never yelled at, FFS), she trash talks me to her friends on her texts (doesn't know I am reading them), I listen to her at least a fucking hour a day with her drama and she tells people I say "whatever I don't care".
She is now telling this best friend's boyfriend that she is "cutting" herself (I read her facebook messages). She tells the therapist she is being bullied...she isn't being bullied! She is starting drama with people and telling them she is going to hurt herself and reaaaally sucking up the attention. She has a "rough home life"...yeah, the horrible thing we do to her is made her scoop the litter boxes, and she doesn't even do that half the time.
She writes "normal mood" when she gets her way and "impaired severe anxiety and depression to the point of impairment" when told NO.
I think I am starting to really dislike her; I dread her being home so bad. I feel guilty saying that, but I am the only one that sees what she is doing! The manipulation, using, lying, sneaking, borderline stuff. No one else sees it, not the therapist no one. I am stuck with this girl in my house too.
Guess we will be locking up all the sharp objects for fear that the princess will cut her widdle self...I bet she didn't or she scratched herself with her fingernail. That's the exaggeration crap she does for pity and attention.
Happy 39th week of pregnancy.
EDITED TO ADD: I don't dislike her, I am just so fucking tired of her stuff. I am so tired of being trashed for attention when we haven't done or said ANYTHING to her that is not nice and supportive, even when we call her down, we say "we love you, we understand how you feel, and this is the rule you broke". OMFG we're SOOOOOO CRUEEEELL...
I bet this shit amps up 10 fold when I have this baby, too.
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Comments
First, congrats on the
First, congrats on the pregnancy! You're almost there!
Second, SMH, sometimes I really wonder about teenage girls. Are none of them "normal"? Between Justin Bieber fangirling and emo-goth self mutilation, it's a wonder anything can get done. Not sure who she hangs out with but friends can make a big difference in how teens act--that's why my parents sought to make friends with parents of the high performing students in my school and set up activity dates for us.
Sorry to hear you're going through this, I have no other recommendation other than pray she'll grow out of it.
I so feel you!!! I see the
I so feel you!!! I see the manipulation clear as day and that no one else can see it makes me sooo angry!! Everyone falls for their "poor me" crap. I don't have a solution bit I know exactly how you feel...I DREAD my stepdaughters coming over too...I feel like I'm around a wolf in sheep's clothing...
Update: So apparently she
Update: So apparently she "CUT" herself by scratching herself with the birthday balloon I gave her...
She told her friends that she was in the psychiatric hospital for suicidal thoughts and ODing. She was mad that they said "Oh sorry" and didn't fawn over her. This borderline crap is just too much. I am sick of the world revolving around her. I did a few tests and she responded with classic borderline responses. I mentioned she looked mad in the wedding photos and didn't know if she wanted to use that picture for her project - so she throws a fit "aawwww so I ruuuuuiinnned your weeeeeddinngg aaaawwwwww aawwww".
She is mad at me for saying she needs to be honest with herself about why she told her friends (and the boy) these things (we told her NOT to tell them) and why she told this boy she "did a bad thing and cut myself last night" (with a BALLOON -she left that part out).
She is doing things and exaggerating for attention and really gets pissed when called out. Oh, and she gets suicidal when we "get on to her". We told her NOT to write in permanent marker on her hand, she does it again that night. DH told her "I told you I did not like that why did you do it after I just told you not to" aawwwww ggaaawwwdddd her parents are sooo horrible to heeeerr aawww.
She loves this teacher and psychiatrist that gives her extra attention and HATES this teacher that calls her out when she's talking and acting like she should be above reproach. She tells this teacher she tried to kill herself and "Cuts" (remember O.D. on ANTACIDS and "CUT" with a BALLOON stick).
It escalated with the pregnancy and has only gotten worse. Of course she denies being jealous.... the doctors all say she is extremely jealous BTW. I can only imagine how this is going to progress when the baby is actually born.
She doesn't realize how petty, manipulative, and attention-seeking she is being and how stupid. NO one else SEES this. They are all really enmeshed in giving her the attention and pity she is trying to get.
I'm so fucking tired. I am 39 weeks and the whole fucking thing has been revolving around HER. I think she would pinch the baby and then play the doting big sister to sooth him... I don't trust her at all any more.
Researching borderline personality disorder, even though she won't be diagnosed. She's good at getting pity and manipulating.
Now she is sneaking in the
Now she is sneaking in the kitchen eating cookies 30 minutes before dinner.
She hasn't started her homework because it took her 1-1/2 hours to use the toilet and pick pimples on her face.
She showed me her arms when I said "what are you doing in the kitchen" and smiled and said I haven't been cutting... i said yeah, I'm not really afraid of you being hurt by a balloon SD13...
WTF am I going to do with this extremely manipulative needy emotional vampire child??
I can't stand being around her right now I am so fucking drained.
Confront her. I did that when
Confront her. I did that when my daughter tried that route... If you cut yourself again I will have you committed for 72 hrs in an institution.
Or tell her as she obviously has such a multitude of problems it would probably be a good idea to get her a Firefly Cell phone so she can only call 911 or you or her father. No, no. We cannot run the risk of her getting a brain tumour from the cell phone. Or what if she gets RSI in her thumbs from texting all the time. Horrors!
And as she is so freaking fragile it would be a great idea to not have a facebook page anymore. After all, she may get stalked!
Remove ANYTHING she can use to harm herself. Baby locks on all the doors. Covers for outlets (jam them onto the outlets as hard as you can)Only feed her off paper plates with baby utensils. Oh and nothing that will cause her ANY anxiety... like cable TV.
Oh she loves that. She was
Oh she loves that. She was committed in-patient for two weeks (over $600 for us) and we talked to her about not telling her friends but just that we had been with grandparents. Three days later she tells everyone (for the attention).
She marks "impaired by depression" on her mood chart again today because I confronted her about "cutting" and her behavior. Now she wants to kill herself again because I "yelled" at her. No, I talked to her in a normal voice and asked her to think about all she has done and the real reason (ATTENTION).
It has to be 100% princess time all day every day for her to mark "Normal". If she is not having friends over, going to the mall, and being doted on, she marks "severe depression".
God yes, and she whatever we
God yes, and she whatever we tell her not to do, is exactly what she runs and does. She LOVES and craves attention. If everyone is not focused on and revolving around her constantly then she is suicidal and depressed. Or "cuts" by scratching her arm with a balloon... Can you see my eyes rolling here?
She will tell you whatever she thinks will get the most sympathy, pity, and attention.
I'm days away from my due date and the entire pregnancy has revolved around SD13 and her antics and her needing the world revolving around her (literally). Now she is really upping it as we get close to delivery. She told me she is afraid the baby will DIE. She likes to bring that up because we have had two losses. She also admitted that she has intentionally upset me all through the pregnancy for attention.
The more I try to help her and support her, the more she fucks me over essentially. Even trashing me to her friends. She wants to push me to the point that she gets to be abandoned, and she is damn well doing a good job of it. She has ruined my pregnancy, ruined the baby shower, and God only knows what she is going to pull when my baby is born to get the attention on her again. It's going to be AWEFUL and I DREAD it. She is already marking "no one loves me" and "Depressed severe" on her freaking mood chart when we call her out on ANYTHING.
She is pissed off that I won't let her be at the hospital the entire time during labor and delivery! She wants to be in the room during labor and waiting with DH during delivery and says I don't LURV her enough if I don't let her. Too fucking bad. I do not want to have to entertain her and sooth HER and comfort HER and praise HER while I am in fucking LABOR (she wants it to be ALL about her and I am not exaggerating here). I do love her, I do care for her, but I am not going to worship her.
I told her nicely when she asks that she is not babysitting my infant and she gets mad and huffy. Would you trust this girl with your infant?? I asked her what she would do if she noticed him stop breathing...she said (rolling her eyes) I would call you and tell you ITS DEAD and GAWD its not MY fault it stopped breathing /huff /stomp.... you really think I am trusting a 13 yr old with that statement about babysitting to be alone with my infant? FUCK NO.
Yep, mine was doing that on
Yep, mine was doing that on youtube at age 11.
DH backs me up on that with her not being at the hospital, but she thinks she is an equal partner and is offended not to be at the hospital in my room - not for delivery but to be in there and involved the whole time I am laying in the bed in labor waiting for push time (she doesn't expect to be there for push time). I still said nope, biological, adopted, or step, you're not going to be in the room.
I know the blogs sound like i don't like or love her and sound ugly, I am just overwhelmed and frustrated. I DO love her, I just am struggling so bad dealing with her. I know she needs constant unconditional love and I am reaaally trying, but it just gets soooo exhausting. Blogging here about being mad, frustrated, or at my wits end seems to be my only way to let it out so I can "be there" for her without rolling my eyes or saying FFS just STOP, because I DO know it is a sickness and I truly do want to be there for her...it's just really hard 39-1/2 weeks along, knowing what she is doing, getting sick FROM HER, and being emotionally drained by her problems that are so minor in reality, but so HUGE to her, and having to validate her feelings every day after school, every dinner, and every night before bed. Just tired.