So last night, right after I decide not to discuss any of this with G (my DH), I unload on him. For the fifth night in a row.

I decided this for a few reasons: he can't really relate, not ever having been a stepparent, and I don't want to add to his stress level, and there's not much he can do about most of my griping. If there's something he can do, fine, I'll tell him. Otherwise, it doesn't help anyone.

Finally, I say "I'm not cleaning up any of his shit anymore."

"That's probably a good idea," G says.

A habit of mine, to continue to push my idea once it's been accepted. "I'm not even doing his freakin dishes."

"That's probably a good idea," G repeats.

The thing is, when I wrote here last night I mentioned a deal that G and I made upon getting married: one of us would work outside the home earning money, and one of us would stay home and take care of the house. The decision was up to me, and as I am a huge introvert, I chose the option that left me time to myself: G would work outside the home earning money, and I would work inside the home, cleaning and cooking etc.
But as I lay in bed, I realized: This was a deal I made with G. I never made this deal with L (my SS).

If L were contributing anything to the household - paying rent, working a 40-hour-a-week job and behaving like he actually wanted to be part of this family, something - I would mind cleaning and cooking for him far less. Since he isn't doing any of the above - since he's being disrespectful in action - then I refuse to, well, be his mother.

I'm just thankful that G is backing me up on this. "It's not your job, sweetie."