O/T: Bipolar Spouse?
Hi, I'm not on here as much as I used to be. SD22 and SS19 are not really causing us any issues right now. However, this site has always been so helpful to me at really difficult times. Can anyone recommend some websites or message boards for bipolar disorder. I think I'm finally coming to the realization (and out of denial) that my SO may have this. We have a BS5 and I really need to get more info. SO has always had anger episodes, throws things or yells. I used to attribute it to the stress of the divorce or all the pressure he put on himself with skid visits. I made a lot of excuses. Now I'm seeing he definately has some personal issues going on and I cannot deny it.
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There is no test
There is like no blood test for bipolar disorder. It’s the way the person thinks and acts. There is no cure for bipolar. It’s treated with drugs to keep them carm and make them look like they can function in life. But that for us not the bipolar person. But these drugs can stop them from performing sexual. So sex and feeling good becomes more important then being in controlled. So they stop taking the drugs and the cycle continue. You have to see someone and a lot of time, that is picked as condition, because they must name a condition the person has. To fill out paperwork
This is true. BP seems to be
This is true. BP seems to be used as a blanket diagnosis for a host of mental illnesses. BM2 was finally diagnosed with BP in her fifties, but her mental illness is far more pervasive than that.
true
I am really working through this. It could be BP with some narcissism, it could be BPD with BP. I just know its not consistent. its like things are fine, then something builds until a small thing just makes him lash out. He's even said this. I can see when he's very irritable an dwhen its coming.
My son is like this.
My son is like this.
He has a very long fuse. He will be fine, not bothered by anything, then the smallest thing will set him off.
Weve had long talks about it and he’s talked to a therapist. He knows now that he has to express his anger when he initially feels it, not suppress it. He’s no BP or narcissistic. He just doesn’t handle his anger well.
That may very well be it too.
That may very well be it too. I really am trying to search this out. I do know he has a lot of issues with inhibition and not taking care of his health. things I didn't see for a long time. I never realized people didn't take care of their teeth or take their diabetes seriously. He gets upset with a person over something and won't let it go, then is rude to them. They have no idea why. Then suddenly everything will be ok again. Its exhausting.
I don't have any pertinent
I don't have any pertinent advice other than start with your H's primary care physician.
Obviously, your H will need to undergo psychological testing. Is he willing to do this?
not likely but
not likely but i'm going to try and talk to him about it when he comes out of his anger mood.
Hello stranger! I would have
Hello stranger! I would have recognised that little "I'm Evil" placard anywhere lol. Sorry to hear about your troubles - I have got a good friend who is bipolar and as long as she stays on her meds (she occasionally goes off them) she is fine. Hugs to you and the family.
This may help you -
http://ibpf.org/about-bipolar-disorder
https://www.bphope.com/community/
Hi!
Hi Kes!So good to hear from you. I was hoping to see some familar names.
Thanks for the resources. I've been googling, but did not find these. Hugs to you!!
great site
I'm reading through one where the wife describes her husband. Its exactly how I would describe SO. Really appreciate the info again!
Chef's Irritability
has certainly decreased. . .WITH AGE! He's now 50 and will be 54 when CS is officially over; unless YSS emancipates earlier--not really a huge chance of that seeing he'll probably be a basement dweller with a severe case of failure to launch.
Good to hear from you again AA!!
how great to hear from you!
Wow, its so comforting seeing you and Kes on here. Thanks for the reply. Skids have said (now that they are older) how much better he is than he was when they were little. He's 42, so i can hope he keeps calming with time. Honestly, he doesn't care for his health so that really doesn't help. He eats carbs and candy all of the time and is diabetic. I've tried warning him about the health risks, but he's grown. When I tired to manage it at home, all he did was eat candy and crap food when not at home. So might as well just do what is practical and efficient. I can see different patterns in sleep too. He gets at most 6 hours a night and typically less. I see him napping more which makes me thing there is some depression.
No CP for us anymore. SS19 lives with us and going to college. SD22 lives in another state with SOs mom. They always got along. SD is high maitenance and the family is seeing that more now. I think she has bipolar I. She says she hears things and describes delusions too. Paranoid and moody. This is what made me face that SO probably is bipolar as well.
Glad to Hear From You!
And that there is light at the end of the tunnel!!! How is SS19 doing in college? In our case we believe SD19 has dropped out of community college but we can't prove it so CS continues on and on and on and on! I went on a diet since the end of January and have gone past the 30 lbs mark. It's shocking to see how much you've let yourself go! Chef is no exception, but he doesn't seem to mind. food and drink seems to be the only thing making him happy, however it does start to wear on one's health. He downs carbs and because he has a physical job, he believes he can just "work it off." (NOT). He's getting older now and it's much harder to "outrun the fork."
Well, SS19 actually went away
Well, SS19 actually went away to college and after 1.5 semesters, withdrew and came home. He was in a frat, so you can guess where that lead. He won't admit it, but I think his grades were falling due to partying too much and he likely had to quit.
He's at home now with ground rules and no partying allowed. He starts the local state university in the fall and he's taking summer classes. He's paying for them himself too. Way different from SD22. He takes time to play with BS5 and he will talk to BS5 about why dad gets angry.
SD22 claims she has hallucinations and paranoia. She has always been very moody and If you remember I always asked SO to find her a therapist. I assumed depression. I thought it was for attention, but I have changed my view. With her symptoms as of late, I'm confident she's biopolar type 1. I'm thinking SO is type 2. Thinking back, I see how this all fits. He has some minor paranoia (example-- won't submit his taxes for financial aid for kid schools because they could do something else with the info). He's a spender, loves to shop, and is bad with money. He doesn't manage his diabetes, which I read bipolar can be 3 times higher to occur in diabetics because of its association with glucose metabolism. I think his Blood pressure is borderline high and he's overweight. When he's not in a depressed irritable state, he seems fine. Super fun dad and can manage his patience with our BS5. When he's not, he just can't. Its like walking on eggshells and he's so pissy. Doesn't talk to anyone and is rude to extended family. My best friend and I are not able to talk much right now because of his rudeness. She has her own personality issues too, so also difficult for me to be between them.
As for me, I have some anxiety about all of this. I put myself and our son in this situation. I thought I could handle it, but sometimes I question it all. I don't leave because i think it would make things worse. I fear PAS and him getting depressed and ignoring BS5. If I'm around, I can see the irritability and shield BS5 from it. Like I said, when he's not in this mood he's so fun and does so much with our son. BS5 adores him right now, and I can't be the mean one. Just going to take it a day at a time.
Bipolar is extreme highs and
Bipolar is extreme highs and extreme lows. It used to be called manic depressive disorder. My grandfather, my aunt, and my niece have it . So the depression is severe. Suicidal thoughts and attempts. My grandfather was even catonic in mental hospital during one of the depressive episodes. And when they are manic they are on top of the world. Excited and creative and can do anything. This is when my aunt with run up all of her credit cards and blow lots of money in vegas. She would cheat on her husband and herpes. She wouldn't sleep for days. My grandfather would swear he would come up with his best business ideas in the manic phase. You see they hate the lows but the love the mania and the high. And they don't think they will ever come down from the upper end to the lower end but they do. It is treated with lots of meds. My cousin has to have shock treatment during her depressive episodes
can't imagine
I can't even imagine. What a huge struggle for your family.