Ready to blow my top!
:O I am being pushed to my absolute limits right now. I need to take a page from so many others and disengage. My hubby wrote his BM an email with a list of subjects that they needed to discuss about the kids. She responded with three separate emails. Freakin shoot me. It was just about things that needed to be discussed. No blaming, no accusations, NOTHING. It was about discussing their son's upcoming trip to Prague. It was about their daughter's upcoming Bat Mitzvah. It was about the discussing pediatricians and a possible change. It was about discussing money matters, the kids health issues. School issues. You know stuff parents need to talk about.
She responds by telling us that she shouldn't have to discuss SD's schoolwork with us and what she is behind on. We should just open the binder and look. Ummm, we don't get any information regarding book reports, projects, etc. so we don't know what she should be working on.
She tells us, where SD BatMitzvah is going to be (we pay 2/3 of the cost, I'm thinking we should have a say!) She won't talk budget. And BTW, SD does not want it in the place that she wants it at, and I agree with SD. Her brother's was there and I thought the place was lousy! There are other options that we need to consider at similar price point.
She said she is pissed that an email was sent to the school asking to have SD tested for learning disabilities. Ummmm, there is an issue and it shouldn't have taken until 6th grade to have it addressed.
She also said she feels that we are blaming her for things that are going on with the kids, and they are at both houses, so we need to take responsibility. Ummm, where did that come? We want to discuss things. And we do know their are issues with the kids and openly discussed it and have taken the kids to therapy to discuss things. She avoids it like the plague!
I freakin had it, I don't want any part of this or any part of this family. My hubby and I have a therapy session this evening. I have a strange feeling its not going to be a pretty appointment. Hubby needs a back bone and to stand up to his ex. Because I'm done! And I think I'm getting pretty close to being done with my marriage. I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't.
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Sorry to hear you are having
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I do agree your hubby needs to lay down the law and if BM doesn't want to discuss anything then she can handle it. I know if my husband and I were paying 2/3 of anything we would damnwell have a say in it...
Listen I deal with a an evil, evil, phycho BM and she is always making trouble and to tell you the truth it's not that my husband doesn't have a back bone it's that he is sick and tired of everything being a fight when something needs to be discussed. For instance 1 1/2 yrs ago SD was gaining alot of weight..she has always been very small and she went up about 2 sizes in a matter of a just over a month...So my husband spoke with BM (now remember we only see SD every second weekend) and he told BM he was very concerned about his daughter gaining that much weight..BM freaked out to say the least and it made matters worse because not only did she tell SD that her dad said she was obese (which was a complete lie) she also kept feeding her crap and she gained another 10lbs..so we have learnt to deal with things by speaking with SD and showing her healthy alternatives and keeping her very active when she is with us...
anyway..I hope your day gets better.... Z
Honestly, my problem is both.
Honestly, my problem is both. But the DH handles things is a biggie...he doesn't like to handle things and leaves most of it to me!
My ex and I aren't perfect, but we've always managed to put the best interest of our daughter first. He doesn't get involved with school or medical decisions, because he knows that I handle it and I handle it well. I keep him apprised as to what it going on, and he usually supports and backs me.
BM, I can't stand to be in the same room with! I want to tell her off! She doesn't look at the best interest of her kids, she looks at the best interest of her BF's kids and pushes her kids aside. She only steps up to the plate when she knows I'm taking over.
I guess I just need a break, I need someone else to take on some of the slack. I work full time, I take care of the house, I take care of my daughter, I'm taking care of his kids, I'm taking care of Hubby..he leaves the house at 5:15 am and doesn't get home until 6:00. I'm tired. Looking forward to a mani/pedi massage and maybe facial on Saturday, while I let Hubby deal with 8 pre-teens at SC Bday party!