For those who might have made different choices given what they know now...and those who did
For those of you who decided stepfamily life, or at least your particular situation, wasn't working for you...have you had any regrets?
I ask this because I wonder if I am seeing the pluses vs. the minuses. There are many wonderful things about BF and then, there's his situation, BM, 50/50 custody, a SD who is much younger than my kids, financial hardships.
I wonder if I end things with BF if I will only be trading one situation for another. I mean, for someone in her 40s, who most likely doesn't want to have any more kids, and has two teenagers...chances are if I ended things with my bf and got involved again it would be with someone who has kids...most men my age have kids.
I suppose an EOW situation and a BM who isn't so far out there would go a long way...as would not having a high maintenance MIL and more money...but to get those things will it be at the expense of other things my BF does for me? Will I just trade one set of problems for a different set?
This last year has really sucked...not sure how we're ever going to get movement again.
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Comments
I wonder the same things. I
I wonder the same things. I am not married I have been with BF for 5 years and we own a home together. Its a lot harder to get out of a home loan than it is to file for divorce. I often think about leaving. His youngest is 3 and cries all the fucking time. They got up at 630 this morning and before they left at 3 she had 8 melt downs over stupid shit like no you cant have your 4th glass of chocolate milk its run into the room screaming like the world just fucking ended. Do I really wanna live like this for the next 16 years?
I am at the end of the
I am at the end of the disrespect from SS, I hope. If I had anything to do over again I wouldn't have let ss come back this last time and I wouldn't have let him live here the first time he was here either knowing that he was kicked out of his mothers house for a valid reason and knowing my husband has such hatred for his ex wife he will allow ss to do anything he wants as long as he continues to bash his mother.
If I ended my relationship
If I ended my relationship with my husband I wouldn't go looking for another man. I guess I'm independent enough I don't need a man in my life. I choose to have one in my life. I do know I'd never marry again.In time I'd date but never marry again so if he had kids it wouldn't matter, I would retain my life so it wouldn't concern me if he had kids.
My sentiments EXACTLY!
My sentiments EXACTLY!
Oh I know what your saying
Oh I know what your saying and I didn't mean my post to sound snotty but rereading it it does. Ooops. Sorry. I would never remarry. Maybe I would change my mind if I was meant to meet the right guy but I doubt it.
Buttercookie...yes, you said
Buttercookie...yes, you said what I have been thinking...I'd love to get married but if the BS I've had to deal with is how it is with a man with kids, and most of the dating pool has kids, maybe it is best for me to just date and stay single. I would like a life partner, but not if it's going to drive me nuts. I too am independent and value alone time, love being in charge of my life without consulting someone else...
Unfortunately, I don't think I can "date" the person I've lived with and wanted to marry (my BF).
So basically, if your first
So basically, if your first marriage fails, then that's it...
Steperg, can you imagine going through your health issues without your H? Wouldn't it have been harder for you without knowing he's there? Of course, it sounds like he's added to your stress of late.
I would take OFF! But my
I would take OFF! But my deal is I now have an 8yr old, so it's not like I can just move on...we'd still have to communicate...sigh...but if he was 16, 17, 18 or more, maybe I would leave...and yes, other men MIGHT have kids, but I already know what a pita his kid is and how she will be trying to guilt him for money for years to come...maybe another man actually divorced later and parented his kids better and thus his kids aren't losers...you know? You could find out how big a loser the adult kids are vs. hoping a young one turns decent, spending 16yrs (ie. me) and then finding out I'll have to deal with a loser after ALL the nightmare I dealt with for 16yrs...I'd get out...
Herewegoagain...I've thought
Herewegoagain...I've thought that myself...what a fool I'd feel like to find my fears re SD materialized...plus, BF says he could never throw SD out if she decided to come back and live at home as an adult slacker...which seems so popular these days with the 20 - 30s crowd.