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Feeling the lack of appreciation big time

AJanie's picture

Submitted by AJanie on Sat, 07/09/2016 - 9:58am

Posting this from a massage chair at the nail salon.

To update regarding SS and his co sleeping - I successfully got the kid to sleep alone all 4 nights. It wasn't easy and when they left I was more physically and mentally drained than I have ever been and that is not an exaggeration.

Of course I held onto this girlish hope that DH would somehow show me he appreciated me caring for his kids on my vacation week -- flowers, dinner, 10 minutes of his undivided attention. But I got none of that. He sent me a few texts throughout the week thanking me and telling me how wonderful I am, and I guess that has to be enough because when I cried (overtired) about it last night he told me I was acting "like a lunatic" and "causing drama."

Neither of us have slept well. He's trying to readjust to 3rd shift and I am trying to adjust to the fact that the skids will be around a lot this summer.

An ex boyfriend of mine is in Spain with his gorgeous girlfriend and I seethe with envy when I see Facebook photos.

I just needed to commiserate with people who understand. I may as well be invisible.

Hoping to feel better after my manicure and pedicure! Have a nice, relaxing weekend all.

Comments

AJanie's picture

Submitted by AJanie on Sat, 07/09/2016 - 10:12am

I think for all the classic reasons. Fell in love when I was younger. Wore rose colored glasses. Assumed love would make it all okay. Thought the skids would always be the adorable cherubs they were in the beginning. Didn't realize how hard me 1st shift and him 3rd shift would end up being. Just naive in all aspects I suppose.

AJanie's picture

Submitted by AJanie on Sat, 07/09/2016 - 10:21am

He would have needed sitters because BM was away. I should have let him figure it out. He is very literal so if I don't directly ask for appreciation i feel like he misses the memo.

Amcc13's picture

Submitted by Amcc13 on Sat, 07/09/2016 - 11:01am

Yeh - anyone who leaves their children with me then calls me a lunatic would find himself with no partner sharpish. Why are you wasting your time with someone so ungrateful?

iluvcheese's picture

Submitted by iluvcheese on Sat, 07/09/2016 - 1:35pm

Good job ending the cosleeping thing, I can't imagine how trying & exhausting that must've been. I understand feeling unappreciated, it happens. It sounds like he tried though, he did thank you. When my DH & I were having serious problems, a lot of it was a lack of understanding about our needs & expectations (don't get me wrong there was the usual BM bs, disrespect, & blah blah blah).

Anyway I was loving him the way I wanted to be loved & he was loving me the way he wanted to be loved. I think in our situation it came down to men & women being different & because of that we had different needs. I found articles online about this problem, we both read & it got us talking & helped us understand we wanted different things. The original stuff we read was quite religious, so I'll post something neutral.

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_566f3671e4b011b83a6c3088
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_56675da9e4b0f290e5210b87

Maybe if your guy reads it, it can open some lines of communication about what you want & expect from each other? Just a thought, because it did help my DH & I. Enjoy your break!