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masad's picture

Submitted by masad on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 6:33pm

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Teenage Stepchildren

my husband wants to give $500 dollars to his daughter for her graduation, and i dont want him to do that because we don't have extra money to throw out just like that, plus she is not very nice to him, she is always being mean and rude to him but he is always on her side I know is his daughter but she has no respect for him and she doesn't like and more rude to me she comes to my house or get in my car and doesn't even say hi to me, is just high school graduation I think $100 dollars is enough but she wants to starts saving for a car and he wants to give her that money when me and our two little kids don't even go on vacation, we both work but is not enough cause all his money goes in child support, I don't know what to do please tell me what to do i'm tired to deal with these kind of stuff :?

IslandofDreams's picture

Submitted by IslandofDreams on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 8:54pm

I think $500 is alot of money for a high school graduation. College, yes but not high school.
Maybe he should give her an actual gift instead of money?

Flippinexhausted's picture

Submitted by Flippinexhausted on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 9:10pm

Me,I would find out how much she has saved for a car,and agree to match it,unless it's ALOT of money,or even suggest $250.00,meeting halfway?

LKSM's picture

Submitted by LKSM on Mon, 07/26/2010 - 8:51pm

I agree - have your husband offer to match her, dollar for dollar of her earned savings (not savings from gifts) towards a car, up to $250. If she works and saves $250, this plan will give her a total of $500 towards car AND it will hold her accountable for working towards fulfilling her own needs and desires (rather than being given everything).

On another note, you could let her know that her treatment of you interferes with your ability to feel generous and inclined to give to her!

starfish's picture

Submitted by starfish on Mon, 06/07/2010 - 9:17pm

that's crazy!

he's nuts.............. $100 and a dinner is more than enough! aren't you supposed to graduate high school ~~~ really another hallmark holiday...

Mommyto1Stepto2's picture

Submitted by Mommyto1Stepto2 on Tue, 06/08/2010 - 1:13pm

$500 is a lot of money, but it is all based on what you can afford. Are you having a graduation party for her? My mom gave me the choice of having a party or getting money. I chose the money. But even so, maybe you could meet him halfway and give $250?

midwestmama's picture

Submitted by midwestmama on Sun, 06/13/2010 - 11:59am

Gee...let's throw her a parade cuz she got dressed today too!! Like others said, graduating is something she is expected to do. Yes, it's an accomplishment/milestone to be proud of, but let's not go overboard.

I'm sure you are not being given much of a vote here, so you will probably need some sort of "reasoning" that your husband would AGREE with in order to get him to back off. How about this? Can we not co-mingle the graduation gift with helping buy a car??

If she's "saving up" then the purchase will be sometime in the future. Can he not give her a REASONABLE grad gift (to not set a gift-giving precedence for future events??) and THEN when it comes time to buy the car, offer to help then? Are you ok with him helping buy the car? If graduating, does that mean CS is ending?? Maybe you'll be in better shape to help in a few months? Just a thought to NOT make the car purchase part of the grad gift (not like you're P Diddy or something!)

Steve Simons's picture

Submitted by Steve Simons on Thu, 07/08/2010 - 12:42pm

I agree that 500 dollars is a lot of money for a high school graduate. If he wants to show her that he is proud of her, you should suggest to him the idea of getting her a diploma frame so she can always display her accomplishment and hard work she put into her education

desperateinalabama's picture

Submitted by desperateinalabama on Mon, 07/26/2010 - 1:58pm

If she is going to college, why not give her something she could use for college. If he insists on giving money, why not give her half on what he was planning to give her? I know the money I got from my graduation, I blew on clothes and other things I didn't need.

Tx mommy of 3's picture

Submitted by Tx mommy of 3 on Mon, 07/26/2010 - 6:19pm

$500 is a lot to give a teenager for something they are SUPPOSED to do. I agree, if it was for a college degree, then ok. Maybe meet in the middle or have dh save up a little each paycheck so that when skid IS ready to buy a car then he can go with her and give her what he has saved up and put it towards the car. That way he is helping her (which he does want to do), he giver her a fair amount (because he's saving little by little), he is still giving her a grad gift AND he gets to spend time with her by helping her pick out the car/checking it out/helping negotiate with the salesperson, etc. Btw has child support stopped or do you have to continue paying?