Caught with pictures on his phone
So my ss sexualizes yoga pants and has been caught wearing them, stealing them from my girls and taking them to his moms, using them to pleasure himself, looking them up online, and has been in therapy since about September of last year for inappropriate sexual behavior we have have a handful of overnight stays for a few months now and he is watched like a hawk around his step and half sisters (4 of them). His therapist said he would be releasing him from therapy in about a month due to no issues happening in while, he said he had showed improvement to which he didn't know if it was him actually improving or that he wasn't exposed to things as much such as being at our house around the girls and their belongings. Honestly I'm scared I don't think he has changed or improved he just hasn't had the opportunity to do those things anymore. I checked his phone and he has been taking pictures of girls in his class without them knowing but it's only chest down. There is numerous pictures of girls. Is this normal or is it inappropriate?
It's creepy that the pictures
It's creepy that the pictures are just from the chest down, as if they aren't human beings, just sexual objects. I assume your DH has let the therapist know?
Therapist won't return dh
Therapist won't return dh phone calls only bm contacts him... and do has put a little effort into contacting him unfortunately.
You have to know this is not normal - especially with his histor
You have to know this is not normal - especially with his history. The therapist needs to know, and so does the school. You said in December that he wasn't going to therapy on a regular basis - has that changed? The camera feature on his phone needs to be disabled.
She has missed appointments
She has missed appointments with the therapist I would say he has missed 1 sometimes 2 a month and he only goes 4 times a month... and some have been rescheduled some haven't... honestly I'm kept in the dark on the appointments for that she dont want us handling them we on the other hand take ss to adhd check ups, regular dentist, Orthodontist appointments and eye appointments... go figure..
Not normal....
Not normal....
I am sorry you are going through this.
I can't believe he's still
I can't believe he's still being allowed in your home. I would take my kids and leave. If anything happens to then, you're at fault for not protecting them from this sick kid.
I'm doing my best... dh would
I'm doing my best... dh would have 2 kids around him if I left and they was with him visiting...
His therapist HAS to be told
His therapist HAS to be told about these photos. This is what the therapist is talking about when s/he says "issues". Get that information to her/him immediately! This is proof that the "problem" has not vanished into thin air and that he hasn't done anything "wrong" in your house because he hasn't had the opportunity. You block opportunity in one place, he finds it in another. Therapist, ASAP!
His dad called his mom and
His dad called his mom and told her she acted upset so I'm sure she will tell therapist and hopefully they will see he isn't ready yet... he has his phone blocked from a lot of things so his new app he has found he can find stuff Is Amazon... he looked up sexy panties and sexy see threw pants... he is extremely smart and manipulative... I understand at his age wanting to look up this stuff is age appropriate being he is 13 but it's not when he dont know boundaries.
Hell if the therapist won't
Hell if the therapist won't take your husbands calls- report it to the school. Maybe CPS will get involved once that happens and the whole being "cured" idea can get out of BM's head. He sounds like a predator in the making.
This behavior does not stop
This kid needs a new therapist. Do not let him in your home. He is only going to get worst.
Why does he have a phone? Why wasn't it taken away from him. . Seams like no one cares about this ?
His phone was taken as well
His phone was taken as well as his TV and other stuff for a few weeks.. then he got them all back a few weeks later his mom does have them to where she can lock apps and shut it down at certain times but he argues and cries till she opens it half the time... if he was mine he wouldn't have a phone so he didnt have any temptation...
If that was all he did, have
If that was all he did, have pictures on his phone, normal. But - after everything he has done, and the fact that he's in therapy for sexual deviancy and predatory behavior at age 13 (!), he continues. Despite the negative consequences and therapy, he can't stop. This kid has serious mental issues. He has no self control.
This type of behavior usually escalates. They scope out the people around them and find a vulnerable target. They test the waters with some questionable but not too "out there" behavior. If the target doesn't react negatively due to either being too nice, afraid to offend, or just not knowing any better, they escalate and each interaction is a little more predatory. Who knows what the end goal is? It's up to the predator unless someone stops it.
I don't envy your position. Leaving may mean exposing your younger kids to him without you there if yoir DH gets joint custody, and you getting sole custody isn't a guarantee. You have to protect younger or otherwise vulnerable kids from him, one way or another. Do NOT let your guard down, no matter what your DH, BM, or the therapist says.
Thanks so much... thats what
Thanks so much... thats what I'm trying to do... its hard but he knows I don't trust him I make that completely obvious and tell him when I know he is lying. Since he is going to therapy he reacts different when you tell him you caught him... he says ok and or so.... but he still tries to get out of it but you can see that he knows he did something wrong.. before you couldn't see he felt it was wrong... one thing our moms always taught us is to keep our friends close and our enemies closer... thats exactly what I'm doing.... keeping him close so that I know every move he makes to protect my girls and even protect him... and you are most definitely right he does scope out the most vulnerable person...I have seen him do it.. but then again most kids won't play with him cause he is annoying and the tell him to leave them alone and try to get away from him.. I have been asked a few times if he is on the spectrum.. which his dad said his mom had been asked that too once before and went off on the lady... so I dont know..
WEB CAMS! Time for the 24/7 hairy eyeball.
Oh hell no. I completely get the normal growing up processes for teen boys. After all, I used to be one and have raised one.
This is far from normal. Using his sisters' things for sexual release has to be met with such firm confrontation and consequences that he will be impotent for days when he sees yoga pants or hears the word yoga pants .... for the rest of his life.
smh
In a situation like this,
In a situation like this, wouldn't a judge order supervised visitation?
Nah this kid is a future
Nah this kid is a future dateline episode. Keep the girls away from him as much as you can and have them lock their doors at night if possible. Lock the bathroom door when they're in there. Keep him away. He clearly has some severe issues. I would remove my daughter from the house if I was in your situation.