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confused and lost, give or carry on!

WL's picture

We have been together for 2 years, we met on the playground, started to see each other 2 months later, he was telling me it is like a dream for him, I am so prefect. Paysiccally, yes I am quite attractive, and I am educated and from a good family. But the problem raised when his daughter came to know I am her father's girlfriend. It comes to the point I asked me if this is what I really want.

Financially, I don't dependent on him, I have my own income, I am an creative interior designer, have good sense of dress up and I am very fit and attractive if I am not modest. I do believe he loves what I am. I am quite good at cooking, since we met, he never has problem with what to eat. Since he works very long hours and I do all the cooking and running supermarket etc. At beginning, I stayed at my place during the weekend, so he will come to stay over night or just for dinner. I didn't mind, it sounds a bit odd, as where I live is half a hour drive to his office and it takes one hour and half from his house to the his office.

I feel I am his PA, and housekeeper and companion all in one. Many times, he cancelled me at the last minutes, such as we agreed to attend a weeding of my best friend, but on the day, he refused to go, said he didn't want to drive to city as he drives to there for work 5 days per week.

But he does whatever his ex-wife wants for his daughter, even to get up at 7:30 am to take her to the singing class. The fact, she is not good at singing at all, only her mummy fails her dream to be a famous celebrity and having a glamorous life style, now she wants to achieve the dream thought her daughter. He knows, it is what he wrote to her in many emails, but because I say no, he chose to do the opposite what I want.

He didn't want to divorced, it came as a very surprised when ex wife wanted a divorced, he did everything to save the marriage, but she had met a famous painter and didn't want to stay in the marriage. I met my partner 2 years after their divorce, I was too naive to think he got a daughter I have a son, I had always wanted a daughter, I thought it was great, and I had hope she would be mine sweet little princess. Only found it was the nightmare to start. When I came to stayed with him at weekend, she thrown my son and my clothes out of the house, she cried and cried, she missed her mum, told me to go away, I am not her mummy. I tolerated it all, we didn't have any peaceful time for one year, whenever she is around, she cried and cried, and she did her best to come in between my partner and I. She ordered me to sleep in the guestroom, when we went away for holiday, she asked to sleep in the same bed with her father.

My son comes along fine with the new situation, he tries his best to accommodate her and does what she prefers. I feel very sorry for my son to be bullied by her. Both my partner and her daughter have very strong characters, very self central. Sometimes I felt I am the housekeeper in this house, cooking, cleaning, supermarket, arrange holiday etc, waiting for delivery and builders etc.

To make her daughter feel safe, he told her he will never get married and have child with me. It is just so hurtful. Everytime, I say anything about it, he will argue back that he doesn't see her very much, she is only 8, and I am adult, I should understand him and support him. But what about me, who is there to understand I have feelings too.

hereiam's picture

She is only 8....and already running the show.

Your partner sounds as selfish as the 8 year old.

At least he has been honest with you about telling her he would never get married and have a child with you. However, if that is the case, he had no business getting into this relationship with you in the first place.

I think you have the information you need to make a decision. You certainly will never come first in his life.