BM is mentally unhealthy and can’t communicate
Is there anything we can do to limit communication? She will write paragraphs of messages telling him her opinion of him. Ridiculing, shaming, trying to make him feel guilty, over and over and over. Everyone says to ignore and she will stop. She won't. It's been 6 months and she has not got the hint. She still does it constantly. There HAS to be something we can have in a court order to make her stop.
Look into "our family wizard"
Look into "our family wizard." Knowing your BM, she won't want to use it unless it is court ordered. The best thing is it puts all communication "on the record" and you will have it for documentation if you ever go back to court.
Does the current order say anything about communication? If not, he can try telling her he will only communicate via email, unless it is an emergency. Then he should only check email once a week.
Your DH needs to go "low contact" with BM. Back when we were in the thick of it with BM, I learned a lot from a website called the "psycho exwife." It is no longer operational, but the man who ran it also had a business for awhile called "Mr. Custody Coach." I don't think the business is active anymore, but the site is still there and has lots of information on how to deal with a high conflict ex. Try this to start - http://www.mrcustodycoach.com/blog/top-10-rules-of-low-contact
Has your DH looked into a "parenting coordinator?" There are some people who are divorced who hire a third person to work as an intermediary so they never have to contact each other. It is extreme, but in your case might be something to look in to.
You definitely have one of the worst BMs. I know it is hard, but both your and DH need to figure out a way not to let her get to you. Anything that does not deal directly with an issue that needs to be resolved should be ignored - and that means it needs to be ignored emotionally too.
They do use OFW. It took a
They do use OFW. It took a long time to get her to use it. A looooong time. She still talks to him like he's beneath her and she has the final say. We have been asking nonstop for a parental coordination as well. She will not agree to have one. We are low contact. He basically ignores everything except for the absolutely necessary things. She tries to instigate and get him upset. She has not given one crap about Covid since the start and now that we have it she is SUPER concerned but still had them in camp, sports, vacations, going on planes, friends over, birthday parties ect.. and zero concerns when they have had at least 8-10 Covid scares. She's ONLY concerned now that Dh has it and she just isn't comfortable having them back here until she sees a negative test from me, DH and my kids. LOL!! But it's just the frustration of having to deal with her crap. She is so immature and acts like she has it all together but she looks like a complete idiot! We really don't want to have to deal with her thinking she can talk to DH anyway she wants for the next 7 years and Beyond. She talks to him anyway she wants. It's really annoying.
Have your attorney petition
Then I guess DH isn't seeing skids because you and kids are not providing test results. It is none of their business. If it has been 10 days since a positive test, you are considered safe. She is only doing this to get information on you and your kids.
Have your attorney petition the courts to order a parental coordinator, especially if BM is using OFW already. Has your attorney sent a cease and desist letter? If so, has your DH considered just dropping rope? Your BM is relentless, so is this all worth it, especially since skids are clearly alienated to an extent?
It is none of her business
It is none of her business but stepkids will tell her anyway. They run home and tell mommy every single move me make, everything about out house, everything about me and my kids. I don't want me kids to have to bear the burden of keeping secrets. It's a nightmare!!! It's an absolute nightmare.
May as well have some fun
Start having some conversations about winning the lottery within earshot
At least OFW means you can
At least OFW means you can ignore all calls and texts... I bet she's only using it because the judge can see what's in there. Heh, the judge will take a look at here crap and see right through her.
We asked for OFW hoping it
We asked for OFW hoping it would stop her harassing. Nope!
Look at it this way - by
Look at it this way - by giving her OFW, you've given her the rope to hang herself with
It's been almost 10 yrs and
It's been almost 10 yrs and BM here still over shares hubby just replies to kid related things. Repeat and ignore....
forgive me for asking, but
forgive me for asking, but how old are the skids?
'THIS" with ofw and all this appointed stuff is just another means to churn the cases. I am fully aware of many x's that dont read ofw. They ignor them.
We had to block our bm because of the awful things she would send to our emails. Our Judge didnt bat an eye either when my dh did it.
Anyway what is the worst that can happen...bm writes crazy shit, dh ignores ofw? Then what, bm cries to the court, dh shows her crazy emails? Then what.
I would NOT respond unless highly urgent matter.
Try to ignore reading them. Do the kids call your dh? DH can ask questions like ,,,tell me about your week. Hopefully the kids will fill you in.
Ask yourselves,,,what is the worst thing that can happen if you dont read them?
A judge won't care what she
A judge won't care what she says, and trying to get her to stop won't work. Continue ignoring her.
Save it all, have your
Save it all, have your attorney send her a cease and desist order, go to court for an RO to get her to STF up. Keep smacking her with harassment motions showing the Judge her toxic crap, etc, etc, etc... and make it far more painful on her to not STFU than it is for you to have to listen to her toxic batshit crazy bullshit.
And... when the kids are old enough sit down and review their mother's toxic bullshit with them so they have the facts to protect themselves from her bullshit with. They do not stop being toxic just because the Skids become adults.
We followed this model with our son so he could protect himself from the toxic bullshit manipulation served up by the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool as he progressed through his teens and ultimately into adulthood. He has left them far behind by his hard efforts and living his best life. Their continued poor decisions cause him pain, but his life is so superior to theirs that it is only his regret of their toxic crap that he has to deal with. They have no influence on his life beyond that.
Shut this toxic BM down. As forcefully as it takes to get her to STFU.