Too many times we just take the garbage and push aside our feelings to keep peace. even when we try to nicely bring a message across it is not always heard like we hope and then out of nowhere we are bursting at the seams saying things we regret later. Apologize for any insulting comments but express what was behind the hurt. You have a right to be angry and you have a right to be hurt.

just think of it as vomiting up the posion you've had to swallow. it can't stay down there or it will kill you. better to let it spew on the source.

he did it to himself, if you ask me.

I think it happens to all of us. Still, it doesn't feel good, esp when you lose it. I certainly have. Especially when I felt there was no end to his family's antics and none of it was overt enough to address (relational/passive aggression) head on. Prior to disengagement I had many a melt down with DH.

I was moving recently and found a few books on anger I had bought prior to disengagement. I was becoming a really angry person after a few years of dealing with DHs family. I have been disengaged over a yr now. I literally laughed when I saw those books because I couldn't figure out why I had bought them. Then I remembered how chronically angry I was prior to the disengagement.

I realized that my anger was a symptom that something was really wrong. 1)feeling trapped by his family and the never ending vitriol 2) working too much while trying to raise my small child (since have quit).

I had a lot more blow ups before I removed these stressors from my life. I think it's important to respect and analyze your anger. It's a symptom that something is really wrong with your situation. Anger is so uncomfortable that it serves as a great catalyst to make changes in our lives to remove the cause.