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Audlt SS Wedding

ziggyhi's picture

My DH and I have been married 27 years (I am his 3rd wife) and in 2003 his adult SS (from his 1st marriage), then 38, married for the 2nd time. When planning the wedding the SS invited DH's 2nd wife, and asked us if it would be okay to ask one DH's old girlfriend's from 30 years ago. I told him we wuld give him a list of all DH's old grilfriends and he could invite them all. Well, he decided against inviting the old girlfriend, who was also a lover of DH's 2nd wife. Come the day of the wedding the SS and his bride arranged for first row seating as follows: DH's 1st wife (BM of SS); then DH's 2nd wife, then me, then DH's mother. SS also invited all of the relatives of the 2nd wife. None of my relatives were invited, not were my own adult children. SS's blood sister and half-sister (2nd wife is her BM) were included in the guest list. When it came time for picture taking, there were lots of pictures with the BM and 2nd wife, along with my husband. I was included in just one picture. My SS and I have always been very close, at least I thought so. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? I ask this at this late date because we recently told the nd wife that we would prefer she not be present for gatherings in our home. She has always been a manipulative, narcissistic person. She proceeded to alienate the SS, and both SD's from us, and also one of the SD's husband's mothers. In a heated phone coversation with the SD we found that the 2nd wife had led her to believe, for years, that she had gotten nothing from the divorce, only the SD and DH had gotten everything, when in actuality she was give 1/2 of all assests, plus the SD, plus medical insurance and child support. We are now living in a nightmare where the SS and the SD from the 2nd wife won't talk to us. Of course, this is the shortened version. Any advice?

Most Evil's picture

This is a very confusing family tree! Estrangement can be very painful as I know, we have been estranged off and on from SD now 18 several times now and I fear it could become permanent. At the same time I feel we have done nothing wrong except refuse to be manipulated, so whatever.

There are websites online to help you deal with the pain and offer hope for your own recovery, regardless of what happens. That is actually what I was searching for when I found this site. The best one to me is offered by a beautiful woman, called estrangements.com.

Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2