BM trying to move to CA
SS9 (turning 10 very soon) just informed us that BM is trying to move to California because MN is "too expensive for her to live here". He said this to inform DH that he doesn't want to go. DH has not brought this up to BM yet since he just found out, and she hasn't said anything to him regarding this move.
In July BM asked DH if she could have his Thursday visitation day because she had plans for SS. He asked why, she wouldn't say. Since Thursday is only a 4 hour visitation day, DH agreed with the understanding that he would get an extra 4 hours with SS on a day of his choosing within reason. When he picked up SS the following visitation day(one week after his last visit due to the Thursday loss) SS was all excited and talking about his trip with BM and her family to Chicago. The court order states that ANY trips out of state the OP must be given a month's written notice with the addresses and contact information as well as an itinerary of the trip. BM did not even attempt to do this, and didn't answer her phone when DH tried to call her during the absence. DH isn't sure what he is supposed to do with that knowledge, if SS wouldn't have told him about it he never would have found out. DH is worried about his son being punished by BM for telling him and doesn't want that to happen.
What steps can DH take to make sure this relocation doesn't go forward? It is my understanding in this state the parent must petition before a judge to prove the move is in the best interest of the child and the judge hears both parties arguments and decided what happens. Since BM didn't even notify DH of the Chicago trip, I am anticipating DH going over to pick up SS for standard visitation and finding the house abandoned without notice. We don't have the money to hire an attorney again.
Current visitation is 43% father 57% mother. Both parents have shared physical/legal custody.
DH can do nothing
DH can do nothing actually.... this is going to sound very very bad, but I doubt there's a thing DH can do,
if BM picks up and leaves.... only then can he file kidnapping charger IMO, but not sure how your laws work
I don't really understand how
I don't really understand how "CA is cheaper" either :? ....really scratching my head at that one. However she used to live in Compton before moving with her family to MN so it's possible she has an old connection there.
I'm hoping the Chicago trip
I'm hoping the Chicago trip wasn't a "test"...DH wouldn't have known about the trip if SS didn't tell him. Maybe BM was seeing if she could get away with a "small trip" before she attempts the "big trip". Praying I'm wrong. He has had to remind her multiple times about the court order, she is always trying to keep him from seeing his son if he does anything that makes her mad
(ex: taking a 'family' Christmas picture, he'll get a text the following visitation day "we have plans don't get him today" and then they argue)
I am also here in MN and I
I am also here in MN and I can't imagine she can get away with moving to California. My former company has moved almost everything to California, near where my sister lives. I knew I would loose my job eventually and my ex would lose his shi t and try to get custody if I was transferred. My field is specialized so I started looking for work and landed my new job.
And trust me it is not cheaper to live there.
This is crazy, I live in
This is crazy, I live in California and NOTHING is cheap here. The larger the city you live in, the higher the rent, in Santa Clara county, you can't touch a 2 bedroom apartment for under $2000. If it's cheaper you better hope there is security bars on the windows, because it's in a shitty area.
I'm currently going through a
I'm currently going through a similar situation. BM threatened she was going to move away with SD3 over and over and DH and i never took it seriously because it was a constant empty threat. Sure enough we got served docs stating she wanted to relocate and we are now in the process of objecting that. It's not a fun process and I fear the judge will side with BM as i heard happens more often than not.
Might i add the threat to move was due to DH proposing to me and he eventually did so that is why she is now trying to flee with SD. "If you marry her I'm moving away and taking MY daughter"
SICK!
She would never file to even
She would never file to even attempt to get permission...guaranteed she would flee and just wait for DH to file. She doesn't see leaving as a problem because she's the mother and if SS is with her there is no problem.
"YEARS" ago moving out of
"YEARS" ago moving out of state was sorta a right of passage for deadbeat moms chasing boyfriends or what not's. Keeping bio dads more than arms length away so DAD cant see whats really going on. Plus $$$$$$ cs.
NOW things are very different.
CHECK your state laws. Chances are very high most if not all states have changed things.
SHE should have to notify your husband of her intent to move LEGALLY, and dad can firmly object.
Check your laws.................
sorry about what mom is doing. Its cheaper in West Virginia too, why not move there. There is a reason for this and it is NOT money.
Moving to CA because MN is
Moving to CA because MN is too expensive? Really? :?
How stupid is this woman? Way stupid if her thought process on moving to the most expensive state in the country to live because it is cheaper is any indication of her relative stupidity.
smh
I'd recommend seeing a
I'd recommend seeing a lawyer. Different states have different laws regarding moving when custody is shared. Given that her moving to California would most certainly effect the custody arrangement, it's unlikely that she'll be able to move without there being a change to the custody arrangement. Though it does vary by state.
My sister's boyfriend got a job in another state, and she wanted to move to be with him. Her ex-husband didn't agree to the move--it went to court, and the court ruled that it wasn't in the best interests of the children. So he stopped her from moving.
So who wound up paying the
So who wound up paying the court costs? Your sis or her ex?