What's it like being a step mom (my own cents)
A step-mom doesn't suppose to show her inner feelings or say something that's bothering her
She must not get into her feelings
She must always put her big pants
on
She should do almost everything a BM does and still being recognised less or nothing
She must be a people's pleaser cos society will hop in with "you shouldn't have gotten married to someone with kids or you knew what you've signed up for, you knew what you were getting yourself into.
you MUST love your SKs as your own children (yet, you're being called by your 1st name)".
You must cook, clean, wash, help them with their activities +homeworks, buy them stuff and etc but you should not be present on their school meetings, Dr appointments etc.
When the BM doesn't want her kids on her holidays or weekends with them, you should always give in cos if you say something (DH/ SO will jump in saying "you don't want my kids/ or you're starting to hate my kids& yada yada").
Ummm no
All those things are what the parents should be doing. Not your circus, not your money.
Sounds like you have a problem with your SO if they are expecting all that from you.
Read the book Stepmonster. Get some boundaries.
Thank you for book
Thank you for book recommendations. I will try to find it.
I am going through the same
I am going through the same thing as you are. It is not easy. My partner has 2 teenage kids... both of them are bratty and spoiled and I would so want to educate them the correct way, with good values. But he made it clear that I can't do that. I am honestly so frustrated I thought about getting myself a place to go when they are at my house. And also, his daughter started having a boyfriend... and he is allowed to sleep over in my house. I never agreed to that, it makes me VERY incomfortable and I can't say anything, yet it is my house also
You are spot on and this is
You are spot on and this is exactly why I left my DH. Being a stepmom for me was a very confusing time where I did not feel good about myself. Life is much better now that I left that situation. No regrets.
I think no matter what you do
I think no matter what you do as a stepmom you're bad. For roughly 4 years I took a lot of responsibility and did everything for my step as if she were my own. Everyone criticized my way of parenting, my heart wasn't in it enough. Don't discipline, coddle. Then when things got bad I stepped back and let BM and H take responsibility for their own child. Then I was the horrible human being for not doing anything. You really can't win.
This :):):) Spot on! Have you
This :):):) Spot on! Have you considered being in a relationship with a child free man? It is like a dream compared to being with one who has children.
Lol not likely at this point
Lol not likely at this point we have 2 children together chances are I'd wind up with another man that has kids and be going through the same thing.
"Yet you are called by your
"Yet you are called by your first name." Only because you allow it.
My SS started calling me Daddy when he was about 18mos old. No one told him to. He just did it. When his mom would ask him "Whose daddy?" he would point at the SpermIdiot's picture on her living room wall. She made a consistent effort to keep SS fully aware of his BioDad.
Then after several months of the three of us being the Three Musketeers he just called me "DADDY!!!" I was the first person he ever actually called Dad(dy).
His mom and I married about 6mos after that. A number of years later he came home from SpermLand visitation where SpermGrandHag had chewed him out for calling me "Dad". He informed me that "Grandma says I can't call you Dad because you are not my real dad, you are only my StepDad."
So, I told him if "Dad" was no longer accepable he could call me Mr. (Last Name). I do not allow children, anyone;s children, to call me by my first name. He decided to stick with Dad.
So, tell your Skids to call you Mrs. (Last Name) and only that.
It sets the right precident and puts them firmly in their place.
Take care of you.