You are here

Tax return troubles..

panta151921's picture

I'm hoping to make sum this up as short as possible so here it goes lol.. a little back story is that DH and BM have 50/50 custody and those terms are to be decided by the parents. DH gets to claim youngest SS and SD and BM claims oldest SS. BM is not a us citizen and cannot file taxes so she has her parents claim eldest SS. 
 

For over a year now both SS's have been living with DH & I full time and want nothing to do with BM (she's a terrible mother) however 3 months ago SD decided she wanted to go live with BM again (mainly because she can do whatever she wants there bc BM is never home and doesn't care really). Anyways BM tried starting crap not that long ago about taking DH to court because her sons never want to visit her, so DH took boys to see her and they told her themselves that they just want to live with us. 
 

apparently DH and BM held a conversation about taxes (he just now told me) that he gave BM permission to claim oldest SS AND SD even though both boys live with us full time. Her reasoning was that we have more kids so it's only fair (which yes DH and I have 2 children and 1 on the way together) but that's bullshit my kids have nothing to do with their arrangements. DH said he just said she can claim them because he wants her to just leave the boys alone (they really don't want to go back with BM ever not even to visit) and she loves to stir up court stuff when she doesn't get her way. So I understand where he's coming from but he is also screwing us out of money that should be spent on eldest SS.. court papers haven't changed we are supposed to claim SD and youngest SS.. should we just do it? He really doesn't want to deal with court right now because we are expecting our daughter in about a month and we are mid getting a house built so there's no extra money right now. 

Winterglow's picture

Follow the court order and you can't go wrong. An oral agreement is worthless. A court order is priceless.

Why on earth would he give her money she's not entitled to especially when it is clearly much needed at home? 

panta151921's picture

Like I said she loves to stir up court stuff when she doesn't get what she wants and the boys are terrified she's going to try to take them. I think that's why he did it..

Loxy's picture

Ok fair enough, that's a valid reason. However, your DH did not have the right to agree to something that has a financial impact on your household without first discussing and agreeing it with you. 

Rags's picture

Comply with the CO.  When you file also call the IRS and notify them that BM has taken an exemption that she is not entitled to and include a highlighted copy of your CO so that the IRS will go after BM is she files first.

Abide by the CO.  Period.  Even when there are elements of it that may be infuriating, stick to it.  Know it inside out and backwards.  Also know any supplemental county rules and state regulations that may apply.

The side that knows the rules almost always wins.  

In our case, we never lost in court though I have never left a family court hearing not feeling like I needed scalding hot shower.  Dealig with idiots in the blended family opposition, idiots on the bench, and idiot lawyers always skeeves me out apparently.

Good luck.

And... make sure your DH gets back in line on keeping BM in her place.  Keep applying pain until he extricates his head from his own ass and gets over his self induced bout of Cranio-Rectitis.

Far too many failed family breeders struggle with the concept that decisions about their X and their failed family progeny are not their choices to make unsupervised by the partner they are making a life with.  Period.  If anything, the partner is the one with final decisioning authority on anything failed family related. At least within the context of the marriage. 

No extra visitation either in thehome or with the blended family opposition, no Skids moving in or out, no money beyond the CS order or other support elements ordered by a CO, no lunches with the X, no failed family get togethers, CS reviews are filed on schedule every 2 years (or on the frequency allowed in the couple's county/State of residence), etc.....  Wiithout prior equity life partner approval.  P.E.R.I.O.D. !!!

Nothing about the prior failed family should be tolerated to interfere in the eqity life partnership based home and relationship without the express prior approval by the equity life partner.

Fortuneately for my incredible bride and I, we are on the same page and have not had to struggle much with this type of thing... other than the frequency of CS review.  That was the one thing that I could not force no matter how much pressure I applied or how much I launched the discussion .

notarelative's picture

BM is not a us citizen and cannot file taxes so she has her parents claim eldest SS. 

BM doesn't work? Non citizens file and pay taxes on US earned income.

tog redux's picture

Yes, this - non-citizens who work here pay taxes and file returns. My DH lived here on a work permit for years (now a citizen) and filed returns. And isn't it illegal for BM's parents to take her kids as a dependent if they aren't really caring for them? How did this even get in the CO?

 

panta151921's picture

BM works under her friends SSN. She isn't here on a permit she snuck over here during her high school years. So she pays taxes through her friends ssn I guess but doesn't get any money back from that. Also her parents usually keep the tax return from eldest SS and blow it at the casino lol so that's why she's crying about wanting to claim SD, but again not our problem.

panta151921's picture

Also it isn't in the court order that her parents get to claim eldest SS, it's just what she does. Your guess is as good as mine. The divorce happened in 2013 and I met my husband in 2016.

tog redux's picture

Why is your husband being complicit in all this illegal behavior? He should just claim them all and tell BM to zip it or he'll blow her into ICE.  She's lucky he hadn't done that already. If he wants to be generous, he can share part of the return with her, but he shouldn't be part of tax fraud.

Wait, and how does she work under her friend's SSN? You can't have two different people using the same SSN.

Someone needs to report BM to Immigration - this is crazy. 

panta151921's picture

Technically you can have two jobs so I'm sure social security doesn't think twice about both people using SSN. We have reported her to immigration lol nothing happened. He's told CPS, courts, ect that she's not a citizen.. nobody cares lol 

tog redux's picture

Yes, you can have two jobs, but you can't have two NAMES. Or is BM using her friend's name and identity when she gets jobs? Holy cow, that friend must really like her to risk prison for her.

I'm all for legal immigration, but this is just appalling. I'd leave DH if he was willing to go along with lawbreaking that way.

I don't buy that no one cares. Contact the IRS, they'll care. And the police and Homeland Security.

ETA: Here you go:  https://www.irs.gov/individuals/how-do-you-report-suspected-tax-fraud-ac...

https://www.ice.gov/webform/ice-tip-form

Sandybeaches's picture

First, if BM snuck over and is here illegally how can she be part of any US court case?  Why wouldn't the judge acknowledge her status during court?

2nd, unless her parents have SS living with them and they claim that they are supporting him, they have no legal right to claim him.  You can't just sell off the right to claim a kid to the highest bidder, they have to be legally eligible to claim the child.  Otherwise they are lying on their taxes.  Your DH could fight that as well.  If BM has no legal job she can not claim that she supports the child more than you DH does.  

ESMOD's picture

She isn't able to claim ANYONE.. she isn't filing taxes. Unless her PARENTS are named in the CO they are not allowed to claim these children either... 

I would go back and file every year that they filed and claim that dependant as his.. 

weightedworld's picture

This all seems far too easy. She wants to throw court in his face.. throw ICE right back in hers. Screw that!

Someone who doesn't have an ounce to stand on has waaay to much power in this situation. Put her in her place! 

The next call to be made is to your attorney so he can red flag the kids for travel if she tries to take them with her if she bails. 

Easy, peasy, don't make it harder than what it has to be. 

And as others have said.. if she is not filing taxes than he should have rights to them both.. not the grandparents unless she is being claimed as a dependent under her parents.. oh this situation sounds all too exciting. Come on!!