Peeping Tom ss13
So a few weeks ago, I had taken the kids to the pool, and we came back. I made sure my two little ones showered etc no drama. So as usual I hopped in the shower, got out, walked out of the en-suite and in to my bedroom, and just as I had finished drying myself, and reached over to grab my bra, I looked up at my window, which mind you is very high up, and very narrow, and there is ss13 staring at me through my window. At that moment I can’t words how I felt. I was embarrassed, angry, shocked and just wanted to get swallowed up by a big black hole!
Ok my bad, there should of been blinds on that window, but we are currently renovating and honestly the window is so high up and narrow and who would think in a million years that my step son was going to get the ladder from the yard, climb up it, just to try and see me naked!!!!
I feel disgusting even talking about it still. Hubby of course was angry beyond words at him, but what good is that? Everything is very fragile in this arrangement as it is. Hubby is trying to get me to move passed it, but I just can’t. He is trying to get me in to couples therapy, because as mentioned, the toll the skids are taking on me as it is, then this happens.
Skids live with us full time. I’m a prisoner in my own bedroom when they get home from school. Am I right I’m not being able to move passed this??
Would you be able to move passed this considering the whole thing is messed up as it is??
Um, that kid needs therapy.
Um, that kid needs therapy. What he did is considered a sex offense and it will likely escalate to other forms of inappropriate, illegal sexual behavior. If he did that to the neighbor DH would be talking to the police right now. He had to plan that out and wait for the opportunity, get the ladder and follow through. That's way different than just being curious.
Not only should you not move past it, DH needs to get this kid therapy and stat. This is very concerning. Do not leave him unsupervised with your children.
I came to say this.
I came to say this.
Have DH move out with his budding sex pervert
No way, no how I could live with that under my roof. Your DH needs to move out with this sex pervert son (and any other children he's brought along). Maybe then go to counseling with him.
But anyone who goes to that much trouble to see you naked is on his way to much worse behavior.
Your DH should thank his lucky stars you haven't filed a police report, although there's still time! It's very unlikely this is the first time sex pervert has done something like this. Without the hammer coming down hard and fast it's not going to be the last.
Seriously. They need to leave. DH and the lot of them. Why should you and your children feel unsafe in your own home?
Ok it is absolutely not
Ok it is absolutely not acceptable but chill out with calling the police etc... He's 13... his hormones are all over the place and he has an attractive women under the same roof that is not his mom or a sister... does he need to be explained how wrong, inappropriate, creepy it is? Absolutely! And it must be very awkward now.
I'm just speculating here but maybe no one has talked to him about sexuality and he needs to have a talk "man to man" with his dad about women, sex, relationship etc...
You should definitely go to counseling with your DH. Just find someone that has worked with stepfamilies in the past. And maybe have your SS go to a counselor as well but by himself.
If he peeked into the bedroom
If he peeked into the bedroom door, I'd agree with you. But this kid got a ladder and climbed up to look in a window - that took foresight and planning. He thought about that long and hard - how can I get a look at SM naked? That's really not just curiousity - it's voyeurism.
What he did is a crime, no matter how old he is. He can look at whatever he wants on the Internet nowadays - so there is a reason he is doing what he's doing, and it's not a good sign for his future sexuality being normal. I personally wouldn't call the police IF DH took it seriously and got the kid some help, as well as agreed to supervision of the other children. But he isn't taking it seriously.
She said he was pissed beyond
She said he was pissed beyond words. Nowhere it says he is not taking it seriously. I mean if he is the one suggesting couple therapy, he probably wants to fix his relationship/marriage.
i agree the kid thought it through before hands but just as much as stealing the porno magazines from dad back then.
Stealing pornography to look
Stealing pornography to look at pictures of women who are naked voluntarily is completely different than getting a ladder to climb up and look in at your naked stepmother. One is a crime, and the other is not. Especially when he can see naked women whenever he wants with the click of a mouse.
And DH telling her to "get over it" essentially, is not taking it seriously.
ETA: The "boys will be boys" mentality is what has enabled men to victimize women and call it "normal" male behavior.
Your husband is great at
Your husband is great at victim blaming. ...you are the one that needs therapy???? for getting out of the shower and being naked in your own bedroom? for not liking kids that spy on you?
If you are not going to call
If you are not going to call the police (and I can see how your family life could implode if you were to do that), I would at a minimum demand therapy for the kid, with the therapist being told about this incident. I'd be inclined to demand that DH get him therapy in a text, too. You don't want this incident ignored or swept under the carpet, for multiple reasons.
Pervy little F-trophies don't
Pervy little F-trophies don't have a place in homes and families of quality. Inform DH that his pervy pelvic projectile is now banished from your house.
Ask DH how he would react if he had seen a stranger on a ladder leering at his wife then tell him to grow some balls and deal with his toxic gonad goat.
Grrrrrrr!
You have nothing to feel bad about in all of this and if DH does not immediately eliminate the problem then just call the locksmith to come re-key the locks and purge both DH and his toxic pervert progeny.
Now, call 911 and have the little shit charged. Get him on the perve list and make sure to escalate the consequences as he gets older. Then file for an RO/PO to get him out of your home.
This is not a young child. This is a pre-adult who pulled a ladder out of storage, set it up, climbed up to look in your window and knew exactly what he was doing. And knew it was wrong. He made the choice, now make him live the consequences ... permanently.
Bring the pain and keep it coming.
smh
BE CAREFUL.
BE CAREFUL.
A woman in Utah is in the process of being sentenced for being topless in HER OWN HOME. A house she owned that her husband lived in and stepkids visited. She was helping with drywall work with her husband and the skids walked in while she was changing. BM took it to court, and is winning. The woman will probably see some time in a cage.
Call the polilce. Put them on blast about all of this before BM turns it around on you.
That woman was working on her
That woman was working on her house topless in front of kids. She wasn't changing - she took her top off because it was hot, and felt that if men can do it, she should be able to also.
This woman was changing in her private bedroom with the door closed, and the kid climbed the ladder to look at her. Apples and oranges.
While I do think Utah in general is too strict, if I were that mother, I don't think I'd feel great about a stepmom walking around with her boobs hanging out. Fair or not, boobs are sexual in nature to many people.
As true as that may be, maybe
As true as that may be, maybe instead of charging the woman for exercising her constitutional rights within her own home, they should have just restricted custody of the kids away from the woman's house.
That's be like charging me with a firearms offense because I was cleaning guns in the presence of stepkids.
I agree with you on that,
I agree with you on that, though I could see someone making a case for being lewd in front of minors. Especially in Utah.
Cleaning guns is legal - exposing your breasts to unrelated children isn't. In Utah, anyway. In New York, women can go topless in public.
I get it. I mean, I still don
I get it. I mean, I still don't agree with it, but I get it. I bought the house in which I live, and I should be able to walk around in my boxers unfettered.
Imagine though, BM calling an attorney and saying that this woman left her blinds open purposefully. It's completely within the realm of possibility that she's bailing herself out of jail with a sex crime designation on her record. She has GOT to be the first to involve the police. To hell with going to jail over stepkids.
I do the free babysitting thing for my wife EVERY DAY for 3 hours. I'm on record saying that I don't consent being alone with the stepkid. If something happens, it'll be on my wife.
You can walk around in your
You can walk around in your boxers all day, as long as your d*ck isn't hanging out.
Again, this kid moved a ladder and climbed up on to peek in. She's not going to get charged with lewd behavior.
It most definately is apples
It most definately is apples and oranges. One is a clear criminal act and the other is poor judgement by an adult.
I will be interested to see how the Utah case is resolved.