Looking for some Insight on needy/demanding SS
SS just turned 12 and an only child( sorta older brother away at college). We own a large home in a family friendly Neighborhood and DH has 50/50 custody. SS is a odd duck to say the least. He Incapable or unwilling to do most things by himself. He refuses to watch tv unless someone else watches with him. He rarely will go play outside unless someone goes with him. He hates staying alone and will call us bugging us when we will be home. We leave him very rarely, only during the day and he’s not afraid but bored. He said so. If DH or I am doing work around the house SS will follow us around and do Annoying things because he’s bored. SS has a room full of expensive toys/games but only plays with maybe 10 percent. Half his Xmas gifts are still unwrapped. The 30 in smart TV Grandpa got him for Christmas for his bedroom is still in the box. What kid has no interest in his own tv in his room?
SS has very few things that interest him. I would say the only thing he likes to do for any lenth of time is video games BUT only likes two different games. We have a basement full of board games but SS has no interest in playing any. SS loves running around the house with out two big dogs yelling. That and video games are the only two things SS will do alone. When he’s not doing those two things he’s following DH or I around wanting to be entertained.
WTF is up with this kid??
I wouldn't allow it to be
I wouldn't allow it to be optional to be honest. I remember as young as like, 5 years old, my parents telling us kids to go play. There wasn't any "do you want to play alone for a bit?" or anything like that. It was "OK time for quiet time for us adults, you guys go do your own thing for a while." and if we came back complaining that we were bored or trying to run around annoying them, we were sent away or told to do chores. Usually it was something like "you're either here cleaning or you're somewhere else playing - you choose."
It's not wrong to let a kid know you need some alone time, whether it's as a couple or as an adult who wants to do their own thing for a bit. I tell my SD quite often that I need some time to myself - go play in your room. Nobody bats an eye. She MIGHT ask "how long" and I'll tell her I'll call her down when she can come play downstairs. She knows it's not a punishment or anything. It's just me wanting alone time. And in turn, she's learned to value alone time too. Everybody needs it sometimes.
My 3 year old is virtually an
My 3 year old is virtually an only child and plays by himself all the time. Why? Because I tell him to go play and leave mama alone lol. Sounds like this kid has never been redirected. Tell him to go to his room when he's annoying.