It's only Monday and my anxiety is through the roof!
I had gotten so used to SD not being here, and now she's going to be here until SUNDAY! I don't know how I am going to deal with this!!! My daughters are like, "Just give her a clean slate" WHICH I DO! Everytime she comes I give her a chance to start new, I don't hang anything over her, but EVERYTIME SHE COMES she wants to bad mouth DH or complain that everyone has jobs except her, or how DH owes her money (DH told her that her present was going to be a car, if she got her driver's license, but she hasn't gotten one yet 
) ALL she wants to do is complain, or ask me to take her places, which I refuse to take her anywhere, ever again.
I get soooo confused, when she's here she ALWAYS asks us to take her places, ALL THE TIME, to buy stuff for her friends, BM, her brother, or her stepdad, or for DH. I am confused, does her mom or stepdad NOT take her anywhere, ever? I dunno, that was just a side thought....
I am at my limit, by the end of this week I am going to be PAST my limit. SD has LITERALLY made me dispipse her, I use to feel bad for her, but now? nah, I can't stand her.
So, she thinks her dad owes
So, she thinks her dad owes her money because he promised her a car IF she got her driver's license? I would shut that down, real quick. And I certainly wouldn't take her anywhere, she needs to work on getting her license if she wants to go places.
The bad mouthing and complaining needs to be shut down, too. Tell her you don't want to hear it.
Bad mouthing someone who said they would buy her a car seems kind of self sabotaging, to me. Maybe he should change his mind.
Stop giving her a clean slate
Stop giving her a clean slate. She hasn't earned it. At least not from you. If she's old enough for a DL, she's old enough to suffer consequences from you. Seeing DH hasn't protected you from her crap , ignore her. You don't owe her anything. Your daughters are mistaken on their advice. Bless their naive hearts.
I know they are mistaken on
I know they are mistaken on their advice, and they give that girl SOOOOOO many chances. If SD was 5 or 6 I'd agree, but she's 17 (or will be 17 on her next birthday, I forget. I ALWAYS try to start off fresh, but I am honestly done with that. I don't care, she's given me 11 years of stress and heartache, that I don't want anything to do with her. she literally tries to tear our family apart every chance she gets. shes aweful.
Buying things?
for her friends, BM and SF? Thats very odd. Does she have a job? Why is DH obligated to buy for friends or BM?
I am sorry, DH takes her
I am sorry, DH takes her shopping, but SD's buys the gifts, she doesn't have a job, but saves up babysitting and birthday money.
Ya know
I agree with all comments above. Especially when survivingstephell said she doesnt deserve a clean slate. Giving SD a clean slate means she can go on being a terror with no consequences. I know that is a theme with many entitled skids. Break that pattern. Lil terrors do not get rewards.
lol yea, I agree, and she's
lol yea, I agree, and she's definitely no LITTLE terror, this girl is 17 (or is turning 17, i forget)
after someone has already
after someone has already made that clean slate spin around too many time. if she wants a clean slate, she can earn one. there is no rule that says we have to fogive someone over and over again. At some point, enough is too much.
I would, if she starts yapping about her DAd, say "Not so sure I'd be bitching about the person I want to buy me a car." and walk away.
Why be confused? There is
Why be confused? There is nothing to be confused about. There is also no reason to take her anywhere or do anything for her beside basic shelter, care, and feeding when she is in your home. If she wants all these services, vector her to her father.
Lather.............. rinse.............. repeat.
If she is old enough to drive, she is old enough to take care of her own transportation.
The onus of action is on her. No more discussion and now more catering to her transportation desires. This is not a need. It is a want and if she does not give a shit enough to get her DL, no one needs to give a shit about her transportation demands/requirements other than shipping her back to BM after the visitation.
As for a clean slate, only those who earn a clean slate by their actions should get one. While your own daughters are certainly caring altruistic young people, they need this message IMHO. Tell them, no more clean slates for SD-17 until she earns them with a durable effort. Repeated clean slates are nothing but enabling of repeat crappy behavior.