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SS's Birthday

Brooklynne's picture

Submitted by Brooklynne on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 11:53am

Speaking of parties, BM is having SS's birthday party a couple weeks early this year so he and his cousin can have a joint birthday party. I think it's a good idea since he and his cousin are so close, and they'll have a good time.

What I'm worried about is his birthday present situation. BM has a bad habit of promising SS the world and then never following through. This year she has promised him an electric guitar, an amp, guitar lessons, a karoake machine, and I think some video games (he's going to be 10!!). First of all, he wouldn't be receiving THAT many big-ticket items from us. That's insane!

The birthday party is this Sunday, he's excited, and he's counting on receiving these items from her. He kept going on about how these items cost so much money (he's obsessed with price), and I had to remind him that he shouldn't be obsessed with how much things cost. (argh)

If she does follow through, I already know how it's going to play out. SS will MAYBE try to play the guitar for a couple months (or less) and then it will collect dust. No skin off my nose; it's her money. But her NOT following through with promises happens more often than not. I'm worried that since SS has his heart set on these items from her, she's going to pull the usual and give him some sorry excuse why he didn't get these items for his birthday, and then we'll be the ones picking up the pieces when he comes home disappointed yet again.

I'm praying that she follows through with at least one of the presents that she promised him. I would hate to see him come home so disappointed.

Comments

secondwife20's picture

Submitted by secondwife20 on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 12:41pm

If BM doesn't come through, you need to have a serious talk with her. It's okay to be unable to give a child everything... but when BM PROMISES, that's a whole different story. Tell the stupid woman to not make promises she won't keep.

KeepsGettingBetter's picture

Submitted by KeepsGettingBetter on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 6:54pm

that maybe DH needs to speak to her about all these gifts she has promised but not delivered but then on the other hand even though we are always the one that has to pick up the BM pieces what do you do. BM will promises SS all these presants for as long as she wants and if she is like most of the BMs on this site she wont give a hoot what DH or you say. Sorry I know thats not very encouging but when has a BM even done what we have asked.

I hope BM does see how much her promises upset SS when she doesn't deliver.

GOOD LUCK

now4teens's picture

Submitted by now4teens on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 7:36pm

I know PLENTY of parents who do this (both moms and dads). Constantly making promises they can't keep. They tell their kids "they're going somewhere special" or "they're getting something really special".

And then the kid, of course, BELIEVES the parent. And gets excited. Of course they do! Why shouldn't they? Why would their parent LIE to them?

And then comes the big day....
the kid is off the edge of their seat...
and then...
NOTHING.
But disappointment. And confusion. And heartache.

I'll give you a classic example. BM does this all the time to the girls. Too many to count. And the sad thing is, over the years, the girls, after the big disappointment comes, actually BUY INTO BMs excuses when she doesn't deliver!

A few years ago, BM promised the girls they were going on this big, lavish vacation to the Outer Banks. I guess she felt she had to compete with the nice vacations we usually take, but whatever. Anyway, she told the girls they were staying at this HUGE HOUSE on the beach- A MANSION. Told them for months they were going to take surfing lessons. Told them they were going to have big bonfire parties right on the beach every night.

The girls were over the moon with excitement! They wanted to look up the house online, but BM "could never remember the address". And that's when DH and I started to get suspicious once again that maybe this wasn't going to happen. DH pressed BM for the address because he needed it when taking the girls out of state- she never gave it to him...

The DAY of the trip comes and BM picks them up. Youngest SD goes out to the car to get the address from BM and comes back in crying as she hands paper to DH and says, "The plans got changed."

DH looks at the paper. The address says a location for a house in NJ. And we know this town- certainly NOT a mansion on the beach! Later the girls call. The house is small, cramped, and has no A/C! And they are not happy, but BM has given them a good "story"- and they believed it (at least that's what they've told us).

So if your SS is disappointed that he doesn't get the presents he was promised, maybe he'll be like my SDs and take up residence in the "Land of Denial" when it comes to his wonderful Mommy!

"If you have never been hated by a child, you have never been a parent."
-Bette Davis