Too much history with the name. He may just have loved the name but you will never accept it.Kind of like you wearing the same perfume BM did- everytime he smelled it it would remind him of being with her.

My SO picked out names with his ex. The girl name is actually my middle daughter's name - exactly the same - and since my SO adopted her, he got his girl name anyway and we just added to her last name so she has both of ours. The boy name they picked BM did not use on their son. I am okay with the name my SO wants for a boy but I added to it with some of SO's family names - grandpa's middle name and his mom's maiden name. I have a dumb thing for long names. All my kids have 2 first names. Sounds like I have 6 kids instead of 3. LOL

Anyway, my SO liked the names and so do I, so if we ever do get pregnant we would use the boy name he likes and the girl name I picked that includes family names too.

I had my youngest shortly before my divorce and my ex and I had a girl name all picked out. BUT since we were seperated and he was engaged to another woman, I chose another name with the help of my 2 older children. My ex was furious and tried to change her name during the custody battle - the moron did not know what he wanted to change it to and said so in court. Sorry but the courts won't order an name change unless both parties agree or the name is really bad like the name of and STD. Yes, I have heard of it before!

If you hate the name don't use it!

if you had a name you preferred before bm cane along that is totally different than picking a name while you were together. Ms Katch's dh wanted a name he had pickd out with bm. Big difference.

I had my children's names picked out too but never got to use them
I was going to name my daughter MaryBeth and my son Alan Michael. Since I'm not ever going to need them, feel free to use them if you want and the best thing is there's absolutely nothing attached to them...no bad memories, no exes....

...what names he had picked out with BM? Man, there are some things I just don't want to know. I don't want to think about my husband sitting around with his ex coming up with baby names. Ick. I think there are things we probably need to know about our spouses and their former relationships, like if they are still on the other person's mortgage, for example, but there are probably even more things we just don't need to know. This was probably something you would've been better off not knowing.

I agree with Steve. If it's a name he always liked before BM, then it's no biggie. If it's a family name, understandable. If it's a name they chose together, then there would be a definite ick factor for me, unless it's a family name.

My stepson's middle name is the same as my husband's middle name, but if we had a son together, I would want to name him after my husband and make him a junior, which would mean he'd have the same middle name as his half-brother, the same middle name DH and BM picked out for their son. I don't care. I'd be naming him after my husband, not after BM's child and it's my husband's name, not hers.

I think with any name, regardless of where it came from, if you don't like it, you shouldn't have to use it. There are thousands upon thousands of names in those baby name books. Surely you two can come up with one you can both agree on.

♥ Georgia ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

You could go to behindthename.com & find boat loads of names & even look up names by meaning. Might be cool.

Cajun Lady

I had an experience when I was very young that allowed me to let go of this one.

Here goes.

From the time I was 12 I had a girl name picked out. Laura Ashley. I told each of my BFs this in my later teens and would practice the name with their last name. One exbf got his next girlfriend pregnant and she was named April (interestingly that's my birthday month but whatever.)

Then I dated an abusive BF for over two years. We broke up when I was nineteen and he got his next GF (the one he cheated on me with the night he met her, and dumped me two days later for her) pregnant a few months later (was afraid at that point in my life that would be a continuous pattern.) One day I was hanging out with his older sister, also pregnant, and she told me she just LOVED the name her brother and GF picked out.

You guessed it, "LAURA ASHLEY.)

It was a punch worse than any other I'd ever received from him. I knew he did it as a message to me that he wished it was mine, he had expressed that to me before when they were broken up at one point.

I was devastated and felt like he took one more thing from me.

I told his sister not to tell the GF, because I knew she would think I was making it up.

She did anyway and later told me the GF insisted SHE picked out "Ashley."

So....a few years later, haven't seen anyone related to that part of my life in all that time I run into ex's sister at a wedding. She pulls a picture out of Laura and shows me, tells me her brother claims he pays CS but it mysteriously never reaches his ex, who is now married to an exbf from before she dated my ex. Then his sister says,

"She wants to change Laura's name. Says she never liked it to begin with."

Interesting.

Eight years later my mom told me to look in the local paper, where there was a pic of my namesake playing on her school playground.

She was a nice looking little girl and I hope she likes her name and her mom didn't influence how she felt about it. Of course they were both alcoholic drug using domestic abusers...so I wish this poor little girl (gosh- now all grown up) the best out of bad circumstances.

So...

I got over the whole name thing. I picked out different names each pregnancy and never got to use my girl name I picked out with my first husband (Merritt-after a movie character I loved in the early 1960's.)Although my first H said I could still use Laura Ashley, I felt it was not mine to use anymore.

My BD with DH is named Anna Elizabeth. Anna because the name Anne has significance to us, and Elizabeth after my young friend who passed away never getting to have her own children.

So, unless it's a family name like Steve was talking about, I think your DH needs to pick a new name with you. Circumstances change in life. When I was a child I never thought a plain old name like Anna would appeal to me. But she is every bit an Anna!

Peace, love, and red wine

That was something we agreed to.. DH and I.. not that we have been successful in getting pregnant yet.. but the rules were.. no names of former SO's.. (and w/my DH that counted out a LOT of girl names).. we each getting 3 vetos on names..

He wanted to name a boy EXACTLY after his dad.. and I do not.. I told him I have no problem using part of his dad's name, but would prefer not to.. that the child will already have his dad's last name.. he also wanted the girl's middle name to be his mother's middle name. I think he didnt get an opinion in naming his kids.. I really do.. BM likes to think of herself as eccentric.. and therefore came up w/uncommon names..

That came to the next naming rule.. I have to be able to find the kids name on a pencil roundup or bike license plate roundup.

We came up with:
Katherine Grace (Katie for short)
Zachary William or Christopher William (William is DH's dad's first name and my dad's middle)

its all about compromise.. I think your DH can compromise, considering he already has children, and this is your first.. it should be a new slate to start naming them.

I'm with CplStv and Georgia.

We cannot escape from the fact that life will remind us of our Ex.

Georgia I really love the TMI. Too much information.

There's a lot about my husband's ex that I don't know and I don't want to know -- I am in relationship with him -- not her. Somethings are TMI. The less I know the better. I really don't care.

I made it real clear from the beginning the past is the past. How you treat me and how we relate to one other is what's important.

Great point Georgia.

A good friend just became a grandma by her 15 year old daugher - they chose the name Jagger Rebel buy I heard they changed Rebel to Anthony. A another friend named her last son Laren - after her dad Larry. Yuck! What's up with Colby - I am pretty sure thats cheese! I like to be a little different but come on - a kid has to live with their name their whole life. I saw a website with names of celebrity kids and let me say some of these kids should divorce their parents for the weird names they gave them.

Bottum line - if you don't like it don't use it.

My youngest was to be named Skylar but at the 11th hour my middle daughter said it has to be Skylynn and it works for us.