Here a tip ~ you seem to be a very logical person ~ here lies your problem ~ you are trying to rationalize crazy and you never will. She is out if her cotton picking mind ~ release all the energy you give her and choke it up to NEVER understanding her.

Picture yourself as a parked car ~ n she ( the female dog ) is the crazy dog that is barking at that parked car. From your view ~ she is barking at what a parked car.

Give her the bird ~ don't let her get to you. It will bother her more that you are happy ~ the happier you are the crazier she will be.
Give her a biscuit , maybe she can roll over and play dead if your lucky.

Ugh that sucks. The BM in our situation doesn't text like that, but last year we both took a week long "stay-cation". She sabotaged it by saying she has to work and no one else would watch her. Um, ok...who usually watches her during the week? And no one works 24/7, bitch...mother your child for one week is all we ask!!! I didn't have my 3 bio's for a week but got stuck with that little monster all week long and what do you think she was like that whole week? Clingy and def mini-wife...

My crazy BM text fiancé to tell him the SD was in the hospital cause she couldn't breath ~ ummmm I say to fiancé ~ I know strep throat is going around. Fiancé says to me ~ if it is life threatening the hospital will call ~ get the text the next day SD had strep throat. Jesus Christ BM ~ when you do want to parent you go into hysterics ~ when you kid was about the enter kindergarten ~ you think maybe the 2 years you neglected to get her immunization shots was that an intelligent mommy. She is a giant ASS !

No time for her drama ~ the world will not stop for you tinkerdouche !!

You're getting married? That's like escaping Hell only to wander back in the front door trying to get warm again.

This guy is still waiting:
"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned,"
William Congreve (24 January 1670 – 19 January 1729

Here is what we did to minimize the BM drama in our lives. DH had no contact order added to CO outlining visitation and CS. We also requested a neutral third-party pickup/dropoff center. It was the same place they had supervised visits for people and it cost us $15 a month (and BM as well). Best $15 ever spent.

It also helped because we had extra proof of the crap she would try to pull.

She does not need to have telephone or text access to your DH.

This is a trick that BM used to try on me and DH until I made DH realize it was all a sick game. When SD was little DH used to call SD every night. I finally put a stop to it because he couldnt talk to SD without BM keeping him on the phone forever fighting. When we went on vacation one time BM said SD was peeing blood and she was taking her to the hospital. DH freaked out and I told him-calm down she has a UTI. And she did. Weve had so many health "scares" Im not sure me or DH would ever believe them ever again. Id have to see like a limb missing or something to believe anything is wrong.

She also used to like to tell SD that we didnt love her as much as our BDs because she wasnt invited to go on vacation. Um DH used to ask and beg and BM would tell him no because she couldnt live without SD for a whole week and would literally be dead when SD came back. She also told SD this at some point. Serious PASing and it worked like a charm.

OP you need to have as little contact with BM as possible. Same with your DH. There is just not a need for all the conversation these BMs try to initiate.

Until we got smart BM ruined or tried to ruin my wedding, vacation, my babies christenings and 1st birthdays. By the time we got to 1st birthdays we were wise to her games and ignored her but she pulled in DHs family and they turned against us because we didnt believe BM. SD is still alive and kicking and that was a long time ago. LOL

You need to set strict boundries with BM and maintain them. These high conflict BMs know when they dial down the crazy that normal healthy people start to think "Oh good. Things will be normal now". Then they suck you in by being calm and nice and start in again. Its a cycle I lived for years. Crazy doesnt change. Family wizard would be great. I wish we had it when we needed it way back when.

Maybe BM wouldnt have called my DH to figure out how to halve a recipe and then told me "I am making cupcakes for our DAUGHTER and you better get used to me calling because as her father he is going to help me with her when I need him to". That was a day where she called 10 times in one day just to ruin our day because DH was off work and home alone with me without SD being there to run interference.

You need to block BM completely. You have nothing to do with BM. Let DH handle her when absolutely necessary and to me unless its life or death, in these situations there should be very little to discuss.

DH NEEDS to put a stop to this. This is all BM has left, trying to interrupt your lives - this is what makes her happy. He needs to either put his foot down or ignore unless life or death. Is SD in the "hospital"? Agreed get the hospital name, room number AND THAT IS ALL. You shouldn't have to live your life like this.

BM did this to us early on, we were on vacation that we had been planning for a year, texted DH (he was my boyfriend at the time) and said Skid "hates you" because you never call him and started all this crap with him. All not true of course. Ruined our vacation. PLUS he was so upset over skid "hating" him and there was so much communication with her about this during the trip that he accidentally called me HER NAME. I flipped and told him IM OUT if he ever lets her do this again. She tried one more time on valentine's weekend with a long ass email "needing more money". He has to cut all communication with her during your time together. It's not fair to you.

As long as he keeps responding, she will keep doing whatever gets her that response. He has to shut her down. My husband told me from the beginning that he wouldn't let BM use his daughter to manipulate him. She really put him to the test.

BM actually gave her daughter something she knew she was allergic to, causing a seizure. She made a scene in the hospital, trying to get my husband (BF at the time) to go back to her.

When that didn't work, she threatened to hurt herself.

When that didn't work, she asked him to come and stay at her house with the kids (one was not his) while she checked herself in somewhere to get help for depression (he told her she didn't have to check herself in, how about out-patient?). It was of course, a ruse, she never got ANY help.

When that didn't work, she sent a message through his sister (he was no longer taking her calls) that he should call her right away, as she just found out they were not really divorced. He did not call her but contacted the county and of course, they were divorced. I am still not sure what her plan there was!

Anyway, it took awhile (many years, actually) but she finally calmed down and realized that she could not control him anymore, golden uterus be damned.

Now, this was before cell phones and texting were the norm, so it was easier to ignore. Even when DH got a cell phone, BM nor SD had his number. We have always kept a land line with a good 'ol answering machine.

But your FDH has to stand strong, not be worried about "looking bad" (she will make him look bad no matter what, trust me) and not be afraid of what she might do. BM once threatened to not let SD come over unless my DH gave her certain information (that she had no need of). She told him if he came to pick her up, she would have her hidden at a friends unless he gave her what she wanted. Really, bitch? So, yes, we went without seeing SD for awhile. She never thought he would do that (DH did end up suing her for contempt).

Little by little, BM saw that having DH's kid did not give her the key to his life. Once she realized she was truly locked out of it, she started easing up.

The one thing I tell everybody in situations like this is, know.your.rights and stand up for them.

My husband is also a very easy going guy, who can put up with a lot, but once he realized that I was not going to tolerate it, he started standing up for himself more. I broke up with him after the hospital thing.

You can't argue with crazy. You just can't. I spent a long time trying so I can assure you there will be no good outcome. My advice? Disengage from her. Change your phone #, email address, whatever contact info she has for you & do NOT call her or contact her in any way for any reason. The skids are NOT your responsibility and you have NO obligation to their mother. If she can't reach DH, well then that's just too bad. BM doesn't even have my phone #. I don't care if it's an emergency or not, I have no interest in talking to her.

I know what you mean about BM trying to ruin things but don't let her! DH and I went away for our anniversary recently and while he was in the shower, I saw a text pop up on his phone from BM saying "you went on vacation??" Umm.. not your business, BM. I deleted the text & shut off his phone. She can only ruin your time if you allow it.