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BM email after confronting me at JHGBB game

theoutsider's picture

Submitted by theoutsider on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 3:41pm

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My version of what happened:

I went to the JHGBB game and my boyfriend was going to be along shortly.
BM and I were walking past each other on the gym floor, with many people walking past us and half the bleachers full of people already.
BM spoke to me and asked me to go get the homework that I had taken from her daughter, or call her ex and tell him to do it.
I told her to talk to him.
She said she would but I don't allow him to talk to her.
I responded "let's not cause a scene in front of everyone here. Talk to (kid dad)"
And I walked away and out of the gym.

BM's email to my boyfriend:

(Kid Dad),

I'm not sure what (outsider) told you but as I told you in the voiceail I left on your cell tonight before you came to the game, I politely asked (outsider) if she would mind going back to your house and getting (8yo girl) Project or if she would call you and ask you to bring it. She immediately got on the defensive and told me that I needed to call you and thay I was causing a scene. Again, I asked her politely. If you do not believe this to be true...well I have 2 witnesses. Also, I might add that I told her that (8 yo girl) is getting an F in science and I would really appreciate receiving all homework assignments brought home. But once again she got defensive and started ranting about causing a scene. I have to admit it was embarrassing. I called you before the game and you did not answer. I called again and left a v.m. as well as sent a text and an email requesting that you bring (8 yo girl)'s assignment with you to the game. I dont understand why the 2 of you are dead set against the kids doing their school work with their mother. But then again, what else should I expect with what the kids say. Don't worry, I'll call Mrs. (teacher) and get (8 yo girl)'s assignment. Because I love my kids and they always come first!

And yet, BM in her defensive mode is failing to see 3 glaring facts she admitted to:

1. She initiated contact with me. "I politely asked"
2. I told her she needed to speak to her ex husband, not to me. "told me that I needed to call you"
3. She continued to talk to me after I told her to talk to her ex husband. "Again, I asked her"

BM you are stirring shit and don't even realize that you just admitted to it!

(which by the way, (8 yo girl) IS getting very bad grades in 4 subjects, but because she is not writing down her assignments, leaving her homework at school, and not studying at all. Her dad has been in contact with the teacher for a few weeks now about getting on the girl to take on her responsibility)

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 3:56pm

Ugh. I hate how crazy BM's try to cover their tracks with follow up emails.. lucky yours isn't very smart lol. I know our court system would agree with me telling BM to talk to SO about kid issues and then walk away.

Do you have a smart phone with recording capabilities?? Our BM is a bullshitter too, so if I know I'm going to be anywhere near her, I have my voice recorder app open, so if she does come near me, I'll hit record, because without a doubt, her 'retelling' of events will be all lies!!!

theoutsider's picture

Submitted by theoutsider on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 4:07pm

I don't think in Illinois it is legal to record unless both parties are aware of it. I will have to look into that though.
We need to find a way to permanently document (record voicemails for use in court if necessary)

What's really over kill is that she really did.

Call.
Called Again.
Left a voice mail message.
Sent a text.
And sent an email.

And she told the story three different times.

All right after this happened. When I told her to leave me alone and talk to her ex husband, I did not intend for her to turn her pestering to him.

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 4:29pm

I had a bit of a similar incident with our BM, this was back when I was trying to get along with her. She called me about an issue, when I wasn't telling her what she wanted to hear, she started accusing me of things, so then I told her to talk to SO from now. And yup, she pestered him too and told him lies about our convo, he was smart enough not to fall for it. Then she told the courts that I was abusive and yelling at her. I wish I recorded that phone call

Perhaps your DH could email back and say from now on you will be recording interactions just as a safeguard for everyone so that any future incidences cannot be misinterpreted. That way "she's aware of it" and it may be enough to 'scare' her into not approaching you anymore??

Sorry you've been dragged into such an awful mess, sucks being put into these positions when we weren't the one's to date the crazy ladies!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 10/13/2013 - 2:17am

Texas allows you to record your own telephone conversations without notifying the other party(ies) to the call. That is a great thing when you have a ranting toxic moron on the other end of the line. Check your state to see what the call recording laws are and use them to your advantage.

If worse comes to worse, tell BM that you are recording the call. That will very likely get her to hang up and you can have some peace and quiet.

Good luck.

lil_lady's picture

Submitted by lil_lady on Sat, 10/12/2013 - 4:09pm

Im really confused why BMs get all defensive about being told to contact DH/SO? BM lost it and told me via email out of no where she hates me wants nothing to do with me... her kids and BF and hers divorce is none of my business.... (long story but short of it BM requested that we all communicate with regards to the kids and their well being a few months back... never again). A month later when I had officially washed my hands of ever having to speak to her again thank god! She confronts me infront of her kids. Out of the 5 min scream fest I said one calm sentance... "if you dont want me involved I would suggest you dont involve me...: well that just made her scream louder for another few minutes. I just dont get it! Someone tell me what goes through these women's minds!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 10/13/2013 - 2:21am

The glaring indirect stare. A typical tactic for people of no character and who do not have the courage to be overt in their idiocy.

theoutsider's picture

Submitted by theoutsider on Mon, 10/14/2013 - 11:29am

I wrote about that briefly in the first post. My boyfriend has been talking to the teacher about the girl's grades.
The girl is not writing down her assignments and is telling us at home that she has no homework-leaving her homework at school.
He has been talking to the teacher for a month now and the girl is getting recess taken away at school, and tv taken away at home.
But the girl has just stopped trying.

MY and MY BOYFRIEND'S GUESS is that BM recently learned of the girl's grades because of the punishments she is getting.
BM got on the girl about not having her homework Thursday night and the girl is using me as a scapegoat.
BM accused me in her text and voicemail of "taking the girl's homework from her"
So I guess it's easier on the girl to blame us that to take the full weight of her responsibilities.