Help Please!!
New member, so Hi everyone!
My partner has 2 kids with his ex. We have been together nearly 6 years now. The ex-wife has always been a nightmare (Freddy Kreuger type), but now we have had to involve Social Services and solicitors. Urgent contact and residency orders have now been sent to court (by today), our solicitor feels the judge/court will be highly concerned with the issues we have raised. Ex-wife has lied to SS (they are aware of this) and to us (very used to it).
The children are suffering. The school is concerned, SS did say (off the record) they believe we are definately doing the right thing by going for residence, but they have been unable to make it an offical case, but will be forwarding their report to 'mum & dad' this week coming. Once we involved SS, ex-wife has 'coached' the children to say I threatened to beat them, SS described the children as having 'parroted' the words of their mother.
Does anyone have a similar experience to this? How did it go?
So concerned about the children, their mother has involved them with everything that is going on and has turned the children against us, I suppose to try and use them against us. I know the courts etc will see through this manipulation, but does anyne have any idea how to 'unbrainwash' children?
Thanks in advance for your help and advice.
Most kids lie out of fear of
Most kids lie out of fear of making that parent angry, if they tell the truth. Even though it may hurt you and your DH don't take it personal. The kids are the victims in cases like these. They feels they can't win either way. Most Social Service(their called child protective services CPS in Texas). Or thats what I'm understanding by what you wrote. They are trained to look and listen for leading clues that the kids are coached in what to say. I'm not sure how to tell you to fight this. If you are able to get the children placed in your home. Counseling may help. I wish you the best of luck.
That really is what upsets
That really is what upsets us. We do apprecate that 'mum' manipulates them to say and do what she wants them to, by any means possible. Just so concerned about the short and long term effect this emotional abuse/manipulation will have on the kids. They are wonderful children and do not deserve anything but great care and attention. Although their mothers actions have caused much hurt to us, 'so what' we think as we have 'broad shoulders'! The kids on the otherhand must be so lost, unhappy and confused. Heartbreaking.
We just want them to be safe and happy, asap. A family friend is a well respected Child Psychiatrist, that works with extreme issues with children, so hopefully if we do get residency, great help is available for the kids.
Thanks so much for replying, much appreciated.