stepmomto2, I have to ask you this. Once the older skids were finally out of the house and had "turned their backs on you," did your life get better? Was your BF/hubby more devoted to your biological child and to you? Could you finally live a normal family life just the three of you, or was he still preoccupied with this older and gone kids? If BF and I have kids, there will be a big age difference too. I get the feeling our kids would never compare to what BF feels for his first and that almost makes me cry to think about. But with the age difference (our kids shouldn't be more than 5 when skid goes to college) it is my hope that they will never feel abandoned by their father or like second best. I know what second best feels like, and if I know my kids will feel that way because of skid, I think best to not even have them. Anyway, your situation is similar to mine so please tell me how life is now.

Also, you were lucky to be included by your man. All I hear is "We are going to throw the football around." "We are going to the gym," "We are going to the mall." We, We, We. Then afterwards when I am sad, BF says, "Wish you could have gone with us." Yeah right, am I that dumb? You didn't even ask! I know when I am not wanted and at this point I honestly feel like I should have an apartment for myself to go to on the days when skid is around. Things might be different if it was a threesome rather than a twosome...plus me in the background.

Thank you Oneoffour. To see a father rubbing the feet of his overweight, smelly, prepubescent boychild makes me want to vomit (did I mention he has warts? :sick: ). When I come home and see that scene on the couch, I can't describe the feeling. Part of me feels like, whoops, I interupted something, as if I walked in on two teenagers making out. They both just look up at me, BF's face saying, "What?, he comes first." and skid's face saying "Ha ha loser, I come first." And what kind of 11 year old boy wants that much physical affection from his dad? At six, maybe, but 11, almost 12? All I want to do is turn around and go back to whereever I came from. I guess I am too polite, so I just go upstairs to the bedroom, don't even take off my coat, and stay there until the scene has passed. It is just so revolting.

And Daisyduke, you sound like me too. Why is it that we are crying in the bedroom and our men really couldn't care less? How did that happen? Imagine if their little angels were crying, they would fall over themselves to soothe them...but we can cry our eyes out as long as it isn't so loud as to interupt their quality skid time. Its so backwards. I always wish that some of you on steptalk were my neighbors, and when skid was over and I didn't exist to BF, I could come over, hear that you were being ignored and crying your eyes out too, and we could take a walk, catch a movie, and bitch about our lives over a good coffee. I am sure there are others close amongst us, but how do you find them? Knock, knock, hi, I'm forever2. My BF treats me like sloppy seconds and I can't stand skid. Want to be my friend??