Oh hell no.

Subject myself repeatedly to having a cheater in my home "for the kids"? Nope. Not playing happy family "for the kids". Kids need to learn that sometimes we don't get what we want.

While I agree that we all sacrifice for our children, there is a difference between sacrifice and martyrdom, and this feels to me like martyrdom, plain and simple.

Also, and I know this is only a reflection of my own situation, but I find her to be very controlling. It's like she's told her ex-husband (who she still refers to as her husband throughout, as zerostepdrama points out, and which is super creepy) that he can visit the kids all he wants, but only in their own environment. So this guy pretty much has no agency in his own life, and lives and dies by her good graces. And someone at the Washington Post thinks that's a good thing, so they're publishing it. And what kind of narcissist writes this kind of cr@p? I'm so great because my ex drives 5 hours to see his kids in my house because I don't want (or the kids don't want) to go there?

How is this "supporting" the kids' relationship with their father. There's no relationship with SM (which she's probably thrilled with), and no relationship with the new kid, either, which is really screwed up, if you think about it. She refers to her kids as needing to heal. Heal from what? The marriage break up? Oh, OK... Let's also hold their hands while they go pee pee on the potty until they're in their 20s, too.

Ridiculous and shameful, that's what that article is. The author's freaking nuts. Can you even imagine? God, I hope the SM is on this site! I'd love to hear from her...

My BFF did this for a long time after her divorce. She allowed her cheating XH to live in their house while he found a new place to live. Like any lazy entitled person, that day never came because why would it? He had meals made, laundry done, a place to live and the freedom to do what he wanted.

I tried and tried to talk to my BFF about what message was being sent to her kids. She didn't care. They lived together, vacationed together, but they didn't sleep together. He lived in the guest room. Many years later, her kids are unable to have "normal" relationships because of this example.

Her daughter is now in college and in therapy, and her son is about to graduate from college and is very resentful of the "marriage" example that he had. The XH is now remarried and my BFF still struggles to this day with his "betrayal" of her by remarrying.

She has been in therapy for a few years now trying to make sense of all of it. Until very recently, she believed that she did it "for the kids." Now she knows that she did it because it was familiar, easy, lucrative for her (vacations she could never have afforded and a lifestyle that she so desperately wanted to maintain) and allowed her to remain "married."

The toll it has taken on her is unbelievably devastating, and instead of "starting over" at 36, she is now doing it at 52.

Very sad. Some people do not see the value in themselves.

My ex husband actually wanted to be able to come over and "see" our son whenever he wanted, have sex with me, do his laundry at my house and date other women. He suggested this to me is after he signed the divorce agreement where he agreed to EOweekend and holidays and a week of vacation. I am so glad I valued myself more and chose to stick to and follow the divorce agreement.

Basically they're in an open marriage. This is what every BM dreams of, having her cake and eating it too. She still gets to be his wife in their home playing family on the weekends (because the kids are at school and parents work during the week). Her daughter was right, they need to stop because they're only dragging out the inevitable. I mean what happens when the mistress's toddler is school age or starts extra curriculars on the weekend and dad has to split weekend time accordingly. The mistress must be getting a sweet piece of pie to allow "her" SO to go stay with his Ex and play family every weekend.

This makes me sick. I heard that crap when i was getting divorced in that forced parenting class I had to take. The kids stay in one home and the parents go in and out. or some crap like this. NO! My husband cheated on me when i was pregnant with our third daughter. And probably 2nd. and the first one too. Was I just as hurt and broken as that woman? yes. But as the mother to daughters, I do have to teach them that its not okay to treat your wife that way. He lives on the same street as me with his new wife (who was not the mistress) and we share the week. We do sit together with his wife and my mom at school plays and concerts. We text about homework or Tae Kwon Do uniforms. We are friendly now. My kids are happy and well adjusted. But I model to them strength and resilence and self - respect. Not chumpdom.

Ummm... NOPE!

I dates a guy a couple of times who did the thing where the kids stay in the home and the parents do their visitation/time at the house. He was nice guy but one crazy ex in my life was enough for me...oh and she was an attorney to boot.

Wow, I see so many problems with this scenario....

- #1 problem for me is that her daughter told her flat out it wasn't normal and asked her to act like normal divorced parents!
- #2 problem is that she is alienating her children from her ex or not so soon to be ex husband's new life/family and their 1/2 sibling
- #3 problem she isn't moving on so in effect isn't letting her children move on
- #4 problem is (as many other's posted) that she isn't teaching her children to stand up for themselves when someone has wronged them

Obviously there are a slew of other problem's here as well. What I don't understand is how Washington Post thought this was a good article to share and that this woman is some sort of saint and doing what is "in the best interest of her children" especially when her own daughter pointed out that it wasn't normal! WTH!?!?

Seems to me like a lot of other BMs out there that she wants to have absolute control of the situations still and if she doesn't have control the kids don't get time with their dad. My SO's ex wife constantly uses that "in the best interest of SD" line and it is a load of BS in almost every instance. In most cases it is what she wants not the SD.

The author of this article needs therapy! I also loved reading the comments under the article. She is only fooling herself into this being the best interest of the children. She needs to let go and gain some self respect!!!!