Fed UP!
I thouhght I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to take back my husband of 6 years, father to my daughter, after he had an affair with a then "friend" and knocked her up while doing it.
I thought I knew what I was getting into trying to make this work
Turns out I was SO wrong and now I am becoming someone I dont even recognize anymore
- FedUpinBC's blog
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You took him back... can you
You took him back... can you kick him back out?
Serously, much of the time, we're just happier alone than in a crappy relationship.
I did, and I dont know if I
I did, and I dont know if I can its complicated been together a really long time
She will only get more money
She will only get more money in child support if she files before the other one. The first child financially on the child support books gets the bigger cut out of dad's income than subsequent children who divide up the remainder.
Depends on what state she is
Depends on what state she is in. In some states the kids that are born first get more, in percentage model states I think.
Oh yes the child is now
Oh yes the child is now almost 5!
lol, the dog one is new to me
lol, the dog one is new to me
I can only imagine the
I can only imagine the resentment that you must have for this man. He betrayed you and disregarded what his affair would to to his family, which is tear it apart.
I can completely understand how some women become the vicious BMs they become after a situation like yours. He selfishly decided to not only betray you as his partner, but to be reckless in his selfish sexual relationship, which resulted in an affair child.
I would be angry at the piece of crap example that he is to your daughter. That is what would make me angry. If he wanted to be with someone else, he should have ended it with you like an adult.
You are left to deal with the trust issues and the betrayal. You have the choice to leave again, or you can stay. If you stay, then he needs to know what your needs and boundaries are. At this point if he doesn't fulfill those needs then he can gtfo.
At this point you need to think about your happiness and you daughters happiness. He screwed up any sort of thoughtfulness from you when he chose to betray you.
I wasn't expecting so many
I wasn't expecting so many responses so quickly, thank you all! I was a little hesitant about this site, but I really want a safe place to vent and tell my true feelings!
Yes I took him back, I did so before the child was born and that was 5 years ago. Why did I do that? In truth I don't know if I can verbalize all of the reasons, I've been with this man for the better part of the last 18 years. When he did this our child together was nearing the end of middle school and he had been absent in her life in the few years prior.
He's always been immature, needing a strong hand, bucking the system and I knew that 10 years before when we first got together. He's hard headed and self centered, again something I knew.
I seen some progress in him as the years went by and he did improve he really did, but for every 3 steps he took forward he always ends up taking 4 backwards, it's a never ending battle.
Fast forward to the present and the underlying reason I decided to join here is not the unresolved feelings of un-forgiveness for him, between me and God we have that handled, at least I think lol
At present, the situation with the other mom is spiraling out of control. Hate and Anger, I believe she attacks me because she doesn't have the balls to go after who she's really mad at
I have done my crying and praying, not looking for pity I knew what this bed was when I got in it, so I made a choice. I decided to forgive and move forward and try to be the best damned step mom around, little did I know how to prepare for the reception that would being from HER!
I have a near 5 year old step child in my home who called me a C**T the other day. And tells his father his mom told him not to talk to me. Oh and it goes on and on, that is what the struggle is now, I want to do whats right but god damnit is it hard somedays
I've been called anything and everything under the sun by her, not to my face but to my spouse (and yes he tells her to shut the **** up and so on and so forth) does not good she rants in front of the child about me constantly. Apparently I'm the reason the child "dosen't have a dad" and "I took him out of her childs life" etc.... it goes on and on.
I feel day to day like I'm walking in a haze. She's hateful and spiteful, oh and so good at playing the victim, I'm at the end of my wits here so I reached out.
How do you not let this get under your skin, how do you stop from turning into someone you dont want to be when you're constantly under fire, constantly having to bat back, how do I not be upset or want to burst into tears when I am trying my best and i have a 5 year old ignoring me every weekend he spends with his father and calls me names out of a little 5 year old mouth
What do I do tell my spouse he cant come over? Talking to the child does not good really, dad tells him that's unacceptable the child apologizes then he's fine for the last 48 hours of the visit and then its back to square one the next month we have him......ugh I could type a novel which I suspect would do nothing more than make me sound as pitiful as I currently feel...it's just never ending
I am convinced a child of 4
I am convinced a child of 4