My OSD18 moved in with us in Sept. With me riding her every day and being in constant contact with her teachers, making her take online classes at school, and being an overall bitch about it, I managed to get her graduated on time. Threatening to be twice as bad if she had to repeat helped. My DH and I told her a few months ago that she would have to start paying her own bills one month after she graduated, or was supposed to graduate since we didn't now for sure what was happening. Right now that is a whopping 35 dollars for her cell phone and having to pay her own extras. (She wants to tag along to a cool Scouting event of her brothers she pays her own entrance fees, extra food at grocery that is for her only, clothes, etc.) Her day to day living stuff we would do like family dinners, soap, female products, etc. We told her she then had two months were all other money was hers then we would set her up to start saving, paying us rent, helping with bills. She agreed to this and was all ready to go, except she expected to donate plasma for 200 a month and thought that would be her "job".
Thankfully they rejected her (bad veins, not drugs or anything). Hubby and I thrilled because this means real job, step in the right direction of growing up/maturing. Yeah right. A friend of mine had a job lined up for her, all she had to do was apply and put friend down as reference and she had the job. What does she do instead? Her BM talks her into babysitting for 4 days and she will pay her phone bill and give her a little extra cash. WTHF Stop enabling the kid and make her grow up. We are not happy at all. How the freak are we supposed to teach this kid responsibility and independence when BM keeps doing this. Not the first time either. Every time we try to teach her about being an adult her BM buts in and ruins it. She really is a good kid, just has this fantasy that a SO is going to swoop in and take care of her forever. Any ideas how to overcome the enabling? If we kick her out she has no where to go. BM's bf won't let her move back in, even if she did would end in violence. The crowd of kids she calls "friends" all moved in with their bf's or gf's right after graduation and she has no intention of going to college. The mission shelter in town is 75% drunks, junkies, and fresh out of jail releases. Not what we want her exposed to (she is prone to the I will be your friend if you give me something trick). The womens shelters won't take her because their is no abuse and she has no kids and is not prego. Yes I checked on these, not wanting to work and being kicked out of the house until you get a job does not qualify her.
I do not like the example she is setting for YSD and our three BS's. WTF are we supposed to do? We told her she isn't allowed to loaf around the house and have started making her leave the house at least a few hours a day. We hope she will get tired and bored of trying to find something to do and realize at least a job will keep her from being bored and give her money for fun stuff. Ideas Please.