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7yo ss

Jamitex's picture

Submitted by Jamitex on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 3:49pm

:? I have a 7year old ss and I can not stand him. Its not that he is bad or anything I just cant stand to be around him. I am jealous of him and his father and cant stand it when they go do things together. My fiancé and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. I didn't have a problem with him when we were first dating and then after we moved in together things changed. I guess cause he got custody of him and he was around 24/7 Idk. I don't like talking to him, listening to him or anything with him. I wish he could live with his bm but she is in jail and has no rights to him. I kno I shouldn't think this but I just wish he would disappear sometimes. My fiancé has no idea that I cant stand my ss but Im sure he has somewhat of an idea since I am always short with him and an a**hole. My fiancé gets mad and tells me I don't treat his son the same way I treat my nephew and I see it myself but I don't let him know that. I have tried to be a mother to him I just get to frustrated. I thought after having my son who is now 12wks old would make it better but it didn't help. His bgm(whom he has only met once about 1 1/2 years ago)wants him to go to Michigan for the summer to spend time with his 3yo brother(whom I wish he would forget). They are both young enough to forget each other. As much I would love for him to go and leave for the summer I don't want him to have any contact with his bgm's family. He never sees anyone but mine and his dads family. Maybe I am being selfish. I don't know. I Love my fiancé and I don't want his son to come between us but I feel like im taking the anger and hate I have towards his son out on him. :O

Comments

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 3:53pm

OMG the mother in me says you need to seek some councelling. This is a child whose mother is in jail. Very sad.

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 3:59pm

YOU ARE NOT CUT OUT FOR THIS!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

His bgm(whom he has only met once about 1 1/2 years ago)wants him to go to Michigan for the summer to spend time with his 3yo brother(whom I wish he would forget). They are both young enough to forget each other. As much I would love for him to go and leave for the summer I don't want him to have any contact with his bgm's family.

READ WHAT YOU HAVE JUST WRITTEN - YOU ARE JEALOUS OF ANYONE WHO HAS CONTACT WITH THIS KID. GO TO COUNSELING, BETTER YET LEAVE! This kid doesn't need you around!

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:06pm

You really do have a probelm if you dislike this kid but you don't want his to go the his BGM! Let him go you have a lot of things to work out. Use the time to work on yourself. THIS IS SO WRONG ON SO MANY LEVELS!

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:07pm

I am normally not very mean here but something about your post rubbed me the wrong way so if I misinterpreted I apologize. You say you wish he would go away and live with BM and then later say that you want him to forget his brother and bms family and only have yours and your SOs.

There are plenty of us here who arent particularly fond of skids but you admitted in your post that you are an asshole to him. He is young, has a mom in jail and has already transitioned from one house to the other full time. I hope if you plan to continue your relationship and think about marriage that you can find some compassion for this child.

I also want to recommend that you don't make any drastic decisions right now as your post pardom hormones can be playing a large role in your feelings. I'm not saying that I don't have negative feelings here and there, but I can honestly say I would never go out of my way to be an asshole to my DH's child.

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:14pm

ASKYOURDAD - I totally agree this screams to me like no other post! It sends shivers down my spine! HE IS 7 and someone wants to take him to have him get to know his younger son for the summer and she doesn't like that! Please I hope she is still reading these replies!

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:14pm

It's a safe place to vent... I get that and appreciate it most days and have probably posted things of my own in frustration at times but something was off here.

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:16pm

I know it is just IDK it's not right. I picture a news crew coming to that house....Know what I mean...?

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:13pm

Hell I'll take him - that is how much this bothers me. Please someone calm me down. Am I reading this wrong?

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 4:22pm

Jamitex - Please get help about this. Start by talking to your fiance. This could all be hormones talking. Think about it the boy can go away for the summer and he will be out of your hair. I't great that you venting how you feel, but really you have to do something to get rid of these feelings.

cfmommyof3's picture

Submitted by cfmommyof3 on Thu, 05/01/2014 - 6:47pm

I would give just about anything for BM to go away and let my fiancé and I raise SD ourselves (she would be so much better off). You really should get some help. As stated already post partum can play a big role but sounds like it was going on before....this little boy sounds like he NEEDS YOU...get some help and be there for him. You could make all the difference in his life....you never know what his future holds...please try to see that...Good luck to you and your family and most of all that little boy!

Jamitex's picture

Submitted by Jamitex on Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:30am

I just want to say thank you to all that commented. You have really opened my eyes and made me realize how awful I am and how much my son needs me. Smile

askYOURdad's picture

Submitted by askYOURdad on Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:35am

Most people would have deleted the blog at the first sign of having their feelings hurt.

Your Son and your SS do need you. You are in a position to be able to give them both an amazing life/family and memories. In order to do that, you have to do some soul searching and figure out a way to handle your jealousy, treat your SS with compassion or ultimately if necessary leave the situation. You are not a lost cause by any means and I still stand by the fact that your post pregnancy hormones could be playing a role in this. After my first pregnancy I had ups and downs because of my hormones and on top of that my OB at the time convinced me to get the birth control shot because it was a safe BC to have while nursing... BIG MISTAKE, the combination of the two made me literally crazy! There are people that you can talk to- your OB or a councilor or if money is an issue there is always a priest/reverend or resources at your local planned parenthood.

Patsy's picture

Submitted by Patsy on Fri, 05/02/2014 - 10:44am

Jamitex - Good for you for coming back onto the forum! Please take the advise given by askYOURdad!