I'm sorry he said that to you. I can imagine how it must have hurt your feelings (It sure would have hurt mine!)

IMHO, I Think you hit the nail on the head with the new baby being the reason. Maybe he is getting less attention than normally and is feeling left out?

Try having you and your DH doing solo activities with him at least once every time he comes to visit (assuming he does not live with you full time)
Not cater to or pamper him, lord knows we don't need spoiled entitlement coming into the mix, but just showing him that regardless of however many children you have, that he is loved and still a major part of the family.

Also, one thing that worked for me when SS was out of sorts, have DH do something fun with him, a puzzle, video game, whatever, and have a relaxed easy conversation with him. Ask if anything has happened lately to bother him, or if something is on his mind.

My ss is 11 and was around the same age perhaps a little younger when bm and dh split. He has never said this to me but I would be pretty gutted if he did. He does however speak about bm a lot in our home And I'm sure he would love mum and dad together. You just gotta see it from his point of view I guess. I Don't think he meant it in a hurtful way. Sometimes when I can't understand ss I remind myself that I am not from a broken home and had dad around the whole time. I also didn't have a sm and stepdad in the picture which must be confusing for them. I know that if we are In the vicinity of bm house or bm ss can't as much as hug me which
Is def out of loyalty to mum. At the end of the day they're the bio parents and most kids will have that loyalty to them and want them together. Try not to take it personally which is hard I know x

Years ago, my husband's oldest daughter said the same thing. She was 10/11 at the time and had never lived with both of her parents. Never. Not only had she not lived with them together, she hadn't wanted anything to do with my husband since she was a small child (lots of PA from BM and family).

Some kids say it because they think that's how it should be and they think their life would be better.

She said it for attention and sympathy and because my younger SD said it (different BM). YSD was still adjusting and really missed having her dad at home, so OSD figured she would jump on the bandwagon and see what it would get her. It was definitely a tool for manipulation in her case, but I don't think that's what it is in all cases.

It is easy for kids that age to feel sorry for themselves for not having the "normal" family and like it was said above, they just don't know what to do with those feelings. He is old enough to talk honestly with him about divorce in general (not the personal details) and what it means for everybody involved. I think a lot of problems arise when we just expect them to deal with it and never talk to them about it or address their feelings.

I also agree that it could be the new baby and it wouldn't hurt for him to get some one on one time with his dad as well as getting him involved with his new sister.

Parenting, whether it be our biological child or step-child, can be very frustrating and even overwhelming at times. As I read all of what has been posted, I find myself troubled. Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm sure your SS probably spent a lot of time with his father before you came along and now some of that time has been taken away. Did you ever think that he may resent you? I don't think it's the fact that he really wants his parents to be back together. I think it's more of the fact that he misses spending time with his father like he did before you. Of course there is going to be some jealousy to some degree. It seems to me that there is also some favoritism going on. It blows me away that you could post on a blog that you resent the son of a man that you made your husband and supposed to love. You admitted that you don't know what he's feeling because you didn't come from a broken family. Well why don't you take the time to try to understand what he's feeling instead of putting him down on here. He's a child. Children deal with things completely different than adults. It's not having an immature brain. It's trying to adapt to change. No one ever said it would be easy. By the way, does your husband know you resent his son?

I'm well aware of the reasoning for this site and others like it. You are so very welcome for my advice.