Okay so we pay CS for every other weekend and some vacation. Which is totally the deal and understood. However my skids are SD17 and SS15 and I feel for that age, due to extra groceries and things, we need some notice for the summer visits and it is respectful. Now SS15 originally wanted to come the 26th-1st and his daughter we told that during the weekday DH worked so she said the weekend after which is the 29th. The days arranged for and I accepted. So then SS15 a week later asks to come over as soon as he gets back from his vacation at his grandparents, which is 2 weeks sooner than we originally planned. WTF and SD17 says she's coming over the thursday before the weekend which is now 4 days. I flipped.
We coordinate, make plans and these kids have no regard for our schedule and DH hates telling them no. He feels his kids should feel welcome to come over anytime. They are almost adults, it's getting to the point that they should schedule time over here since it takes planning (if it's going to be outside of the custody agreement.) I told DH that he is taking time off work for SD because she's pretty high maintenance and it's not going to be on me. SS15 plays video games for hours on end and locks himself away in our extra room. So if he's gonna warehouse his son, I am done nagging. I am resigned to the fact that we may end up supporting these children are pretty set in their personalities and attitudes. They are not mine, I have none of my own. So DH thinks I am only this way about his children, but my family or friends never just invite themselves over last minute. Am I overreacting or should they be allowed over at anytime? I mean I know if it was a emergency cicumstance or immediate need fine. In the end he told SS15 that the 18th would be better... only 1 week extra and he couldn't tell SD no, so I had him take the days off work. He seems a little bitter but if they are going to interrupt the schedule than it can be on him. Thoughts?