On 4th of July morning, my husband received an email by the BM that he had refused to pick up SD12 at 8:00 am and since he is late, he is now not allowed to pick up their daughter at all. BM is very high conflict, and we are CONSTANTLY going to court so it is important we stick to the court ordered schedule. The paperwork said pick up time was 10:00 am. BM had made a mistake, but blame was placed on SD12 because she had thought it was 8:00 like most holidays. 

It angers me that BM would rather direct blame towards her own daughter rather than admit it was a misunderstanding. SD12 came barreling in to the house and had been clearly crying. She started yelling and trying to direct blame towards her father and I. Saying her mom doesnt have time to check the papers and that we change the holiday schedule all the time (its been the same for 10 years) and even tried saying her and her mom (BM) thought he had been in a car accident. We tried explaining it wasnt her fault or a big deal, a simple misunderstanding and to not let it ruin the holiday. It took her several hours to calm down in which she finally admitted that she (SD12) had told her mom the wrong time on accident, (shouldn't be SD12 job anyways) and that when she was wrong, BM got extrelmely angry and started yelling and blaming SD12. It is intense right now because their is a current court case open. I feel for SD12, I know she just wants to please her mom, but I do not beleive she should have to eternalize so much blame on herself because she feels she needs to protect her BM. SD12 feels stuck in the middle, she doesnt understand the hate her BM has for her father. (They divorced when she was 7 months old. She is 12 now and they share split custody) SD12 has a very close bond with her father. They are very similar and it has been hard watching her lash out on him. So much manipulation has been going on but her father and I have been standing firm with the rules of our home as well as the court ordered papers.  

It has been years of conflict and it saddens me to see how some parents are unwilling to see the pain they are causing their own children. If my husband and I weren't on the same page about everything, I would feel very alone In this process. By having mutual respect and standing our ground when conflict arises, it has given our blended family the opportunity to grow the love and bonds we have made these last 7 years together.