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Does anyone else have this experience?

luwh033's picture

Submitted by luwh033 on Fri, 04/17/2020 - 2:59am

So I recently noticed that when it's just me and SD 10 we are usually pretty good no issues. She acts very sweet and she listens but when her dad is around she gets this attitude sometimes. Not all the time but every now and then and it's escalated recently given the fact that I'm pregnant with her brother and covid 19 is happening so she is stuck with us and hasn't seen her mom in over a month. Longest she's gone normally we have her 50/50. I go out of my way to do nice things for her get her things take care of her and she doesn't always seem to respect me. As said in my previous post she brings up mom all the time especially recently, she sometimes will ignore me and I'll have to repeat myself and then she will listen, she has to be center of attention when dad is around sometimes interrupts me when talking or tries to talk over me, will get an attitude if I say no, and every night she kisses father goodnight and says I love you but says nothing to me. If it's just me and her then she says goodnight but if he's home she acts like I'm not there. So strange. I kind of feel like all of these things are a mix of frustration with the situation being away from mom and friends and school, new baby, us being stuck in the house together all day, her getting used to me saying no, and a little jealousy regarding her fathers attention. Any similar experiences out there? If so how did it turn out? Her Dad noticed the behavior today because I bought her new shoes and she acted kind of catty to me today he didn't like that so he is going to have a conversation with her about it and about her respecting me.

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Wicked stepmo.'s picture

Submitted by Wicked stepmo. on Fri, 04/17/2020 - 6:40am

I'm sure she is frustrated with the situation as we all are. Does BM facetime her on a regular basis? I'm sure she misses her. I would try to find things to help her her mind occupied,  crafts, board games, SD 11 likes to help cook.  

GinzillaMom's picture

Submitted by GinzillaMom on Fri, 04/17/2020 - 8:28pm

Yes, very similar situation here. SD9 is so different when SO is around. She also competes for his attention and I let her win. I refuse to compete with a child for his attention. Each time she does things like that, he will ask me if something is wrong (after she goes to bed or when she goes back with BM) and I will openly tell him all of the things that happened while she was here. The discussion usually goes like this:

SO: Is something bothering you because you didn't seem like yourself when SD9 was here"

Me: Yes, this happened and it bothered me because of xyz. 

SO: You're overreacting and you don't know the whole story, she didn't mean it that way, you took it the wrong way, you just focus on the negative...etc

Me: You have tunnel vision and just think she is completely innocent. 

Then we don't speak for a day or two with lots of tension. Then he needs love or attention and decides to see things from my perspective. 

It's so exhausting!! I'm beginning to realize he is just a moron with blinders on! 

You are fortunate that your husband sees through her bad behavior and corrects her. 

Kee-khe's picture

Submitted by Kee-khe on Fri, 04/17/2020 - 9:03pm

Been there too. Sd8 was super nice and respectful when DH was not home. I was fairly successful at teaching her to be independent for her age since her father and BM didn't care enough to do so. As soon as DH got home from work, she'd act like a freaking 3 year old. Fake crying and everything, to get what she wanted. Idk what it is.