Venting slowly dying inside
Short story: me and my partner where friends at first, she left her ex boyfriend after he had raped her he is still in the kids lifes and looks after them every weekend.
I took on the step parent role 8 months later to her 3 and 5 year old.
Through out the time of step parenting she was in fear of her ex, she never reported the man for doing what he did, many of times we had a chance to get a avo against him and she never did out of fear, she had sabotaged our relationship many of times by his black mail at first it was her being in denial and being friendly with him messaging then her pick up the phone every time he called, that stopped after many fights, then it was her poor decision making through manipulation of ex eg. Inviting him over to spend time with the kids telling me last minute, then it was text messages she was sharing private details about our life to her ex, chit chatting to him, i asked her not to do this she said she never would one day i found out this was a lie this finally stopped. Also when we first got togther she would bitch to friends about me even to the extent of assigning a nick name to me. I bought her tickets to her favorite band member who had never been to Australia, during this event when i texted her she bitched her freind that i was being annoying when all i did was just simply check in see how she was goinf oh and that she thought about jer ex at the concert and kinda wished he was there.
On top of all this shit comes the family shit her father is an absolute racist asshole bully that has shit on me more times then i can count when i mention this to her she sides to him, with the exception of one time.
As a step parent i feel i need to help implement normal skills such as communication and manners because she got lazy and cbf teaching them so when ever i step up she becomes consistent. However her son has massive behavior issues she claimed she wanted him to see a shrink however was to lazy to call or her words where i have anxeity calling,
I thought this was important as my partner is pregnant with my child and i fear for the saftey of my own child and behaviours it may pick up from her kid. So i was on her back about calling it came to the point where we had a big fight i had to be in the room for her to call beacuse of her anxiety.
I resent her for keeping this man in our life and her childrens lifes he was a fucking monster and the fact she still sends the kids to him every weekend because she was scared of doing something due to repercussions from ex and thr court system not only do her kids suffer but i do with his bs aswell.
She never thinks when making decisions she wants her ex to follow a schedule and not tell us plans are changing last minute but she is full capable of doing this her self which sabotages any chance of a good rappor if we ever went for custody.
I fear for when my own child is born it will become an asshole from the behaviors taken in by my skids that they inherit from their abusive manipulative father.
Fml 
Your Partner
"I fear for when my own child is born it will become an asshole from the behaviors taken in by my skids that they inherit from their abusive manipulative father."
It sounds like your Partner and her Ex were a well-matched couple. Both are a$$holes. She is not respecting you and is using you.
Try to gain custody of your baby.
I have thought about the
I have thought about the possibility of doing this.
Its hard because i still lover her i dont know if it's because im stupid but for all the shit she has put me through there is a good side to her iv just been hopping for abit of a change, things have slowly changed but still im sick of the fighting due to the bs. They say never blame a victim and i dont blame her for what happened to her but i blame her for never taking action.
I guess time will tell if the shit gets worse again i will definitely be taking custody and i have told her this.
Thank you for your reply.
A victim is
A victim is someone who had something terrible happen to them. A volunteer is someone who allows themselves to continue to be in the situation. It seems to me that she has now become a volunteer. Your first priority has to be your child once it is born.
Let me get this straight. She
Let me get this straight. She actively allows a rapist to visit with her children other than through prison bars? Please, get your child away from that horrific mother and her shallow and polluted gene pool.
smh
I am just playing devil's advocate here
but do we know 100% she was raped? The reason I ask is 1. she has not just 1, but 2 children with the man, so was she raped and resulted in pregnancy? If so was it the first child or the second child? 2. She does not what to report what he did - well I can understand why some women do not want to report when they are raped out of embarassment or such, but when there are children in the mix, majority of mothers would do everything in their power to make sure the man who raped them is no where near the children.... 3. she said she missed her ex at a concert you took her too.. if she was physically and emotionally scarred from being raped by this man, she wouldn't be wishing he was at the concert with her..
There is another user on here who's BM claimed she was "raped" years after her child was born when the OP's DH filed to divorce her, but she never said anything, her story of the "rape" does not add up, and she had the child, passing it off as her husband's kid until it no longer suited her.
So I am not saying people who say they were raped, really weren't, but I am pointing out that to me there are red flags and there many people out there who use rape as a sob story, but it never actually happened and also people who use it to try and justify actions.
Tread carefully!
BM1 Claimed that all of her
BM1 Claimed that all of her baby daddy's (there I think 8 for 9 total kids) raped her at some point. She only cries to her dad and SM and used blackmail to get a few of them to marry her. My DH was the 1st one to knock up this gem of a human. They were teenagers and he didn't spot the crazy at a corn field graduation party.
BM2 told DH that her exH beat her head on the steering wheel of the car and that was why she left him.-- Years later it comes out that he never put a hand on her.
Not saying she was or wasn't but like the others suggested- this may be more of a sympathy tactic than actual rape. Be careful and be prepared to fight for your child.