Need Opinions!!!
Child support was filed a couple of months ago. (Husband filed on BM) Kids have been in our care for almost five yrs with no help form BM at all. Of course he filed when she pissed him off about something and now a court date is set and BM has been served. BM calls yesterday crying (from what I was told by my husband) about the whole situation. (That he didn't have to do that all he ever had to do was ask her if he needed anything, what BM told him) NOW that he isn't MAD AT BM at the moment, he wants to drop the whole thing and says that he doesn't need charity to help him with raising the kids (what he tells me). I'm upset. I feel like her phone call infulenced his decision about this whole thing which he disagrees with BECAUSE he claims he never wanted anything from her in the first place. For me, that's not the point. I think EVERY parent should be involved somehow taking care of the kids. As his wife and stepmother of his two kids for five yrs WHY CAN'T I INFLUENCE HIS DECISIONS, WHY is it always the one who hasn't done anything but cause trouble/pain/heartache have that effect? Fighting over this mess is making our marriage very rocky and I do think to myself to just let it all go and let him handle all the situations when it comes to them but then I go back to feeling like a doormat or the nanny instead of stepmom and wife.
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In your situation I would
In your situation I would tell him you are not longer accepting 'charity' from your ex to support your children. How would he like that?
Funny you said that! It was
Funny you said that! It was mentioned and now "I can take that money and do as I please" funny how things get turned around!!
In MO let the court date
In MO let the court date happen. It is not charity having a parent have to help financially support their children. If the tables were turned and he got served the papers, if he called bm crying would she back down? Or would she say something like, these are your kids too? And her phone call did influence his decision. But it shouldn't. If he doesn't want to take charity from bm then if the court grants you and dh cs then put that money away for their education.
He is already thinking about
He is already thinking about calling the DA's office and canceling everything if he can! She sent him a text this morning "Have you called the DA yet?" (of course I read it while he was in the shower) UGH!! He can tell me until he is blue in the face that her phone call didn't influence him but I know differently. I don't care where the money goes as long as she is doing her part!
I will never get this.... I
I will never get this.... I would bet a bazillion dollars that if BM got full custody of the skids that she would be poudning down your door for her CS $. Your DH has got to know this! My DH pulled the same crap... BM has been a jerk ever since the beginning of time.. only cares about her money, when it's coming, how much it is.. she's ENTITLED to it you know. Well DH tells me one day that he had a chat with SS about possibly coming and living with us. I told him that BM better get her wallet out and plan on paying us CS. and DH says "Oh no, I wouldn't even bother trying... it would just be a battle, she'd use it against me with SS, it's not even worth it" WTF????
These women are the ones who opened their legs and insisted on spawning childen, THEY.NEED.TO BE.RESPONSIBLE!
Why doesn't he just lay down
Why doesn't he just lay down and let her fuck him. Oh wait - he's doing that already
Indeed...
I actually might use that!!
I actually might use that!! Thanks
That's such BS! Your DH
That's such BS! Your DH absolutely MUST go after BM through the court for CS! Women think they are exempt from any financial responsibility for their own kids and it's such a double standard! It's true, BOTH bio parents need to be responsible for their own kids. Our BM did this same exact thing when DH went after her through the courts. BM said, I will send you money when I can if you will just withdraw the enforcement. Yeah RIGHT, that NEVER happened in the past, why would it happen now. BM needs to be held accountable through force.
I told DH that if BM gets to decide when she is responsible for SD, then I get to decide that I am NOT a free daycare for BM! I told him to tell BM that she's lucky we aren't coming after her for babysitting money too! It made DH realize that he can't throw me to the fire of taking care of BM's kid while she is doing nothing more than having free time to date and care about only her selfish self.
Haha. Being a free babysitter
Haha. Being a free babysitter is just not my thing I guess.
Ladies you can only imagine
Ladies you can only imagine how frustrated and mentally exausted I am!!! Our arguments have gone round and round about all of this!! I've tried telling him that it isn't charity it is what it is "child support." But he knows how much I don't like BM and he thinks that I AM JUST TRYING TO GET AT HER AND PISS HER OFF IN AND EVERYWAY POSSIBLE! I wish!!! But I would like some respect from the both of them for raising their kids! And having her pay a little bit of CS is part of it!! So since my marriage is on the brinks..I AM GOING TO START GOING TO COUNSELING. (appt mon!) And yes, it will be just me going because apparently I am the only one with a problem when it comes to BM!!
I dont get this....every time
I dont get this....every time we have a fight over SS or BM, I'm the one who needs counseling.
Uh, I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure there's two of us in this relationship! Why don't we go to counseling? "yeayeayea" and then it never happens
I just can't understand why
I just can't understand why my husband won't listen to me! This woman has already tried to get his EIC taxes every year, tried to get him to pay for half of child care (during the summer, she gets them everyother week in summertime) and I KNOW for a fact that she would take him for everything if the roles were reversed. And all I get is "I'm not going to be like her." I just want to pull my hair out..if I have any left, I loose so much everyday!
In previous arguments I have
In previous arguments I have brought up how much I do and it gets turned around on me!! He has said "It's your choice to do all that you do, I don't expect you to do anything. I can take care of my kids by other means I don't need you to do it." I always feel like I should just let him eat his own words but then what do I do when it comes to my kids?? I don't work, I am a stay at home mom! I quit my job yrs ago when I was pregnant with our child...but that's not why I quit!! Not because I was having our kid but I quit to stay home and take care of his youngest that wasn't in school yet because he couldn't keep taking him to work with him! Everytime..I feel like I'm losing a battle I will just never win :?
I stay angry with BM for any
I stay angry with BM for any and everything!! And my husband just can't understand why...I should be OVER IT by now he says. She won't change her ways so there is no reason for me to keep getting upset! UGH..I can't wait until our youngest is in school (less than a yr) BECAUSE THIS MOMMA will no longer be a housewife! Independecy here I come! I can't wait until the day I can say "Huh..I don't need you niether!" Thank you all ladies. I really appreciate your responses