I'm sorry I treated you like sh*t the other day. Wasn't right to lash out at you just for giving your opinion about stuff. Sorry I was a b*tch.

Thanks for sharing this...*sheepish* you might actually be able to comment with really helpful things for me since you're a stepfather and my husband is a stepfather to my son. glad you're staying

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else." ~Judy Garland

"I can see 3 years from now (or sooner) when he is about 16 a lot of crap happening."

That's likely when you'll appear as contemptuous as many of the rest of us. }:)

Welcome, Journey. I'm so glad to hear things are going well for you and your step-son.

I guess my first question would be do you want to have a role as disciplinarian? Personally, if I could get a DH that didn't dump all the responsibility on me and didn't want me to do all his dirty work with his kids then I think I'd get along great with my stepkids too.

That's what I give to my DH, he can completely step out of the disciplinary role if he wants to. He can also just be their friend, I'm ok with that....they have a Dad. As a result, my kids think he's A-OK...they all joke around and laugh...they think he's got a hair trigger temper because he does, and they think he favors his daughter, because he does....but otherwise he gets to seem like an AWESOME stepdad...to everyone....while I on the other hand get to be the 'psycho mental b.tch' because he dumps all the responsibility and dirty work on me and she hates me for it....I think a lot of us SM's are in this double bind.

Glad you stuck around, we can surely use more stepdad perspective.

I have a 13 year old boy.

You got him to do the wave?

Wow. That's a miracle.

Have faith. He doesn't sound odd at all.

Boys open up better during physical activity. Try throwing a football or a baseball back and forth and asking the same school inquiries.

You'll be amazed at the difference in conversation.

"For every ailment under the sun....There is a remedy, or there is none;
If there be one, try to find it; If there be none, never mind it." ~ W.W. Bartley

Ah, boys and men...it's always much easier to be buddies with them...sometimes those blank faces are a blessing...hehe...Glad to hear all is good...

How long have you been in your SS's life? Is his Bio dad in the picture?

Btw, I think that's great that you took him to do something one on one. I guarantee you, that meant more than you realize to him. Teenagers, in my experience, especially boys, don't outwardly express their gratitude for things, but it doesn't mean they don't feel it.

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

I am curious- is it true that boys get more difficult at 16? Because my BS 15 really seems to be getting better the older he gets.

I am hopeful that my SD now about to turn 15 will start to relax around us the more independent she becomes from our authority.

Glad to hear you did that with your SS- the game. I agree with everyone above, boys really enjoy doing stuff like that. My BS 15, who is crazy about his BF and my ex is highly involved, jumped onto the Yankee bandwagon. My DH is a huge Yankee fan as his family is from NJ originally, and as I understand it, you're either a METS guy or a YANKEE guy in that part of the country. (Except their cousin the rebel who's a Phillies guy, but that's another story.)

My ex is a die hard Indians fan, as is all of NE Ohio pretty much (the Browns are another story altogether of course.) And my BS 12 stayed true. But BS 15 LIKES to WIN. And I believe really liked DH more than he was willing to admit, or ever will. Bonding over the team was a slight jab to his dad's heart of course, but my ex took it for the team.

Referring back to the gender and SKs thing, especially when it's same sex SP/SKids, that men and boys not only usually have an "easier" time, I think it's because they do it better. They don't rush or wish for a really intimate emotional bond, like SMs and SDs BOTH do. In my recent search to help me relate better to my DH, I came across articles on how men bond and communicate compared to women. Men prefer "parallel" play- go to a game, play a sport, and bond through those activities.

We get all mushy and wanna have a long heart to heart talk face to face.

Closest thing we got to the way you guys make friends and bond is shopping, but even then we are actively engaged with lots of eye contact and gossip.

Thanks for posting. This makes me know and like you more.

Now you may commence on calling me like ya see me (but be gentle. I'm under the weather physically and emotionally this month, and all my friends on here know why THAT is!)

I appreciate your perspective. I am a bmom and a smom but one of the big pulls for occasionally checking in here is to get perspectives of how some sparents deal with more challenging skids. My spouse has dealt with some really difficult situations in an amazing way but I acknowledge how hard it can be. I also agree with your other post (which I just now read). I absolutely agree that some of the posts/posters come across as scary mean and some of them probably are! Come on, this is a public forum and there are going to be some truly bad apples that come here as well as some angels. I don't think it is wrong of you to observe that. I appreciate how you describe your interaction with this kid. You're right, kids can be odd. A lot of what they do we can just let roll off our shoulder especially given we aren't the parents!