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I am ready

youngstepmomma's picture

Submitted by youngstepmomma on Thu, 09/03/2009 - 2:38am

So I think after months and months of mind searching I have come to the conclusion that I am ready for a baby, but I am unsure of how to bring this up to FH. I also am not sure how SD3 will take it. Since she is 3 it is hard for her to understand how life changing this would be for her. She is an only child now and I don't want her growing up resenting me or a sister/brother. I also know that FH has reservations about it, which makes sense, but I don't know how to not get mad about his less than exstatic attitude. I feel like having a child of my own will really bring me happiness, but how do I express this to FH?

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HeatherM's picture

Submitted by HeatherM on Thu, 09/03/2009 - 8:49am

but I think SbSteve has some good points. First, if your FH is saying he doesn't really want them, I'd worry... I mean that would actually piss me off... what is he concerned about? Making his 3 year old jealous? Whatever... ! In a 'first' family, the jealousy issue probably wouldn't even be a question. Me and my DH had one together, my ss8 probably doesn't like her too much because he's not the baby anymore... (although they both wear diapers, and talk like babies).. anyways... but in the long run, I think it will be ok. In my situation, DH is a good father, and especially great with the little ones.. but if this is something YOU want..and you love your hubby and think it will work out... you will end up resenting SD3. Even though it's not her fault, if you want a baby and he doesn't and you decide to conceed to him...you will constantly look at that little girl like "Well he wanted kids with BM, why doesn't he want them with me"...

youngstepmomma's picture

Submitted by youngstepmomma on Thu, 09/03/2009 - 9:02am

DH wants to have children with me, it is more a timing issue. We are still in our 20s so most of our friends don't have kids. I feel like he thinks that 2 kids is a lot and that I should finish law school first. While I know me and I know that now is a great time to have a baby. I want a career, but I refuse to put my family on the back burner ever! DH has not mentioned anything about SD being jealous, I just thought it. She is VERY spoiled which is mainly my fault... She is too cute to say no to. As for being a BM and SM, I know I can do it. If I ever need help I can go to my sister in law. She is an amazing mother to both her bio son and SS! She is my idiol lol and ready to give me advice about anything. It is more of a question of timing than anything, but I know myself and I know this would be a great time.

youngstepmomma's picture

Submitted by youngstepmomma on Thu, 09/03/2009 - 9:03am

DH wants to have children with me, it is more a timing issue. We are still in our 20s so most of our friends don't have kids. I feel like he thinks that 2 kids is a lot and that I should finish law school first. While I know me and I know that now is a great time to have a baby. I want a career, but I refuse to put my family on the back burner ever! DH has not mentioned anything about SD being jealous, I just thought it. She is VERY spoiled which is mainly my fault... She is too cute to say no to. As for being a BM and SM, I know I can do it. If I ever need help I can go to my sister in law. She is an amazing mother to both her bio son and SS! She is my idiol lol and ready to give me advice about anything. It is more of a question of timing than anything, but I know myself and I know this would be a great time.

youngstepmomma's picture

Submitted by youngstepmomma on Thu, 09/03/2009 - 9:04am

DH wants to have children with me, it is more a timing issue. We are still in our 20s so most of our friends don't have kids. I feel like he thinks that 2 kids is a lot and that I should finish law school first. While I know me and I know that now is a great time to have a baby. I want a career, but I refuse to put my family on the back burner ever! DH has not mentioned anything about SD being jealous, I just thought it. She is VERY spoiled which is mainly my fault... She is too cute to say no to. As for being a BM and SM, I know I can do it. If I ever need help I can go to my sister in law. She is an amazing mother to both her bio son and SS! She is my idiol lol and ready to give me advice about anything. It is more of a question of timing than anything, but I know myself and I know this would be a great time.