The kid has measles, and I have never had them....
So DH calls BM and asks her to keep SS this weekend because apparently this is not as easy on adults as it is on children. Well the bitch said no and DH doesn't know what to do because if he just doesn't show I am sure she will come drop him on our door step and so now he will be staying at my MIL's with SS and I will be home alone.
Looks like a lonely weekend ahead...any suggestions on how to get BM to not be such a bitch and, hello take care of her sick child?!?!?!?!?!?
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Yikes! What a b****!!! If SS
Yikes! What a b****!!! If SS is sick it's in his best interest to stay at home and in bed, so there is no point to even have the visitation because neither one of them will enjoy it and the grandparents are at risk of being exposed to measles.
if the grandparents had
if the grandparents had measles like 30-40 years ago, they may no longer be immune. Contrary to popular belief, immunity does wane after decades on non-exposure.
^^^THIS^^^ Completely agree.
^^^THIS^^^
Completely agree. His kid. His weekend. His responsibility.
Unless you get the fun stuff
Unless you get the fun stuff like we dealt with a few weeks ago.
BM-"I'm sick from work, so I'm going to keep the kids tonight"
DH/ME-"If you're sick, please drop them off here so you can recover and not get the kids sick"
BM-"No. They're my kids and I have time to keep them. I'm keeping them"
Lo and behold, the next morning we get a call...
BM-"Kids are sick from school, I'm dropping them off when I go to work"
DH-"We have a baby here, having 2 sick kids isn't a good idea, plus I have classes"
BM-"They'll be dropped off at 11am. They're sick and can't go to school"
Personally, I thought BM needed to take the day off work in that situation. SHE got them sick in the first place. SHE could have kept them from getting sick. DH wasn't going to be here most of the morning/afternoon, and then worked at 3pm. So why was it MY job to expose our house and baby because SHE got her kids sick?
I'm a BM and I would have
I'm a BM and I would have kept my daughter at home. I would have kept her for any major illness. As a CP I see that my home is set up for those inconveniences. In addition why expose other people?
He needs to take his kid and
He needs to take his kid and watch it whether you like it or not. What is so confusing about the fact that this kid belongs to him - in sickness and in health? Sorry, you don't get a break. And its pretty messed up that this has become a "why doesn't she take care of HER sick kid" post.
Yeah, guess what? Its HIS sick kid too.
Why does the kid have measles? Geez, was it not immunized? What kind of nonsense is that? Are you not immunized? WHAT?!?
Wow, I woke pissy!
Why weren't you and SS
Why weren't you and SS vacinated ?
Some parents opt out of
Some parents opt out of giving their child MMR and rely on"herd immunity" to keep their kid from getting measles. Unfortunately, there are pockets of kids unvaccinated. Some believe, that MMR causes autism. I, personally, don't, but this is not meant to start a debate about the pros and cons of immunization. I am not sure when it became a required vaccine, for school children, but it was not required when I went to school. I did not have it, but rather, had the illness.
I have taken care of adults who have had two complete rounds of MMR and do not show immunity to MMR. They are categorized as"non responders." They need to be cautious about exposure. If you have no immunity, you should not be near a child with an active case of measles. This goes beyond whether your DH should or should not have the child because"he is the father and it is his weekend." This is about respect for others in the house who are not immune. If the child came to your house and you stayed in your room and your DH does not hand wash effectively and cares for his ill daughter, there is a chance for you to become infected. Then, you would need MMR as well as immune globulin.
My suggestion to you, if you have not already done so, is to get your tigers for measles, mumps, rubella and chicken pox. This will show, truly, if you have immunity. Some people have very little symptoms and assume that they have not been infected, and do show immunity. This will not answer your question about this weekend, however.
If the child had the illness and you did and BM did not, I am sure your DH would take care of her to mitigate risk to BM.
Great response. Lots of good
Great response. Lots of good information that make me rethink my original post. Thanks for enlightening me. I'm not quite so pissy anymore!
I would have wanted to keep
I would have wanted to keep my child home with me. But I can also see your BM's point sometimes you have to take care ofba sick kid. Our BM demands SD be with her whenever she is sick on SO's parenting time. He doesn't do it he stays home and takes her to the doctor and takes care of her.
I am the same way. I am a BM
I am the same way. I am a BM as well as a SM. If my child or SS became ill with something as contagious as that, they would stay in my house until the illness passes. Not only is it not fair to expose a second household, but the child is absolutely not feeling well enough to be schlepped around. My EX feels differently. He has brought my sick kids back to my home, in the middle of the night. I think he does this because I am a medical provider and feels that they would be in better hands. However, a phone call, before a late night drop-off would be nice.
Definitely agree with you. My
Definitely agree with you. My ex would demand the kids go home to him when they were sick I hated it because they had to be carted around when they could have just stayed home and gotten better. I guess looking back (my kids are grown) it didn't scare them for life or anything like that. But I wish it would have been different.
Geez just dropped them off with no call now that is rude!! Even if they are your kids a heads up call would be nice.
Titers not "tigers"---
Titers not "tigers"--- stupid auto correct LOLOL
Let me explain, as I didn't
Let me explain, as I didn't share the whole story. My cousin had a baby on Monday and she and her husband are staying with us, so yeah I didn't want to have SS here because there is a new born. I have been immunized, but so has SS so I don't understand how he got it and I am worried I will get it too. I am a teacher and I can't risk getting sick and getting any other kids sick, I think that would be irresponsible. We have SS ever weekend and ever Wednesday, so we did not give BM an alternate weekend but we did offer to keep him a few extra days once SS is no longer contagious. She said no. I did not mean to make this into a who has more responsibility post and believe me, DH and I have had our share of sick days but whenever SS gets sick BM usually wants him with her, even if it is on our parenting time. This of course doesn't fly and DH and I will keep him if it is our turn, but these are special circumstances and the only reason she doesn't want to keep him this time is because BM's sister is pregnant and staying with her mother and so if BM keeps SS this weekend SHE will have to take care of him since she can't dump him on her mother's door step like always because of her pregnant sister. Anyway, thank you all for your comments and I do agree that this is DH's son too and he should be equally responsible for him, I just thought for ONE weekend BM could give us a hand.
As a teacher, you are going
As a teacher, you are going be exposed from the kids in your class. I would still get your titers, so you don't have to worry. Like I said in an earlier post, some people are nonresponders and likely, your SS is one of them. It's unfortunate, but it happens. As far as the baby, most likely if mom is nursing, the baby will incur a small amount of protective immunity, but one can never be too sure and anyone with an illness such as that should steer clear until the risk of transmission is gone. Best of luck to you, I think you did the right thing by questioning it and preventing risk to the people in your household.
Makes total sense now that
Makes total sense now that you've given the additional info. What was the outcome? Do you have SS this weekend? Or is this for next weekend?
It was for this weekend, we
It was for this weekend, we have him every weekend. He is with DH now at MIL's house and I am hanging out w my cousin and my new godson
Wow. All I can say, is, as a
Wow. All I can say, is, as a BM, I would NEVER send my kid away when he was sick, unless I absolutely HAD to for some reason. Just to dump him off, because it's "not my weekend"? That would not happen. He is a little kid who has the measles, he already feels awful. He should be w/his mom. That is sad.
And yea, he should NOT be around a newborn if there is ANY other option!