CP BMs Signing Skids Up For Every.Activity.Under.The.Sun (TM)
This is somewhat of a spin off to "you're killing me DH"
But I forgot #5
I still believe that signing skids up for all sorts of activities on dad's time serves several purposes for the BM:
1. Skid can't bond or spend one on one time with dad when he/she is out kicking a soccer ball
2. Skid can't experience "real life" when racing to activities; shifts focus from normal family life with dad and SM to skid.
3. BM can "control from afar" by controlling skid on dad's time
4. BM can look like MOTY and "involved BM" by showing up for skid's activities (and usually paying no attention to skid by chatting up friends or making an ass out of herself by cheering louder and harder than anyone there) (TM)
5. Opens the way for EXTRA CS!!!
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^^^^LIKE^^^^
^^^^LIKE^^^^
#6 (in my house) So BM can
#6 (in my house) So BM can talk to DH about Skids, and her personal life and ask for favors about her car and other stupid things and ask for hugs and sit next to him in the bleachers just to "sit and talk". Don't you realize BM that he left for a reason and you trying to "get him back"...5 years later, just makes him irritated and makes you look pathetic? )...um guess not.
I've watched my sister become
I've watched my sister become one of these BMs. She has made her life revolve entirely around her kids. They are involved in EVERYTHING. They are in constant motion. There is never any real family activities because there is no time inbween school and sporting events/practices. I think she does it somewhat to fill the void that was left when she divorced figuring her kids won't have time to miss the family parts of their life.
And she prides herself on being present for each and every game and practice. She has no life outside of her kids. It's sad. And she hasn't figured out that it won't matter in the end. No one really is keeping score of how many games she goes to. Her kids will evolve toward their friends. Adults should persue adult relationships.
BEWARE #2 - "2. Skid can't
BEWARE #2 - "2. Skid can't experience "real life" when racing to activities; shifts focus from normal family life with dad and SM to skid."
this gets SOSOSOSOSOOOOO much worse when custody changes. skids do not have any concept of what 'normal everyday life' is with dad. dad is always equated with 'doing stuff' all the freaking time. so now that they're here full time, that is STILL expected. poor dh cant take two minutes w/o a kid wanting to go somewhere or do something....
My boss told me a few weeks
My boss told me a few weeks ago he was upset bc his 5yo wasn't hustling in soccer games. She literally just looked at the ball in front of her.
He said she loved soccer and ran all over in practice on Sundays.
I asked how many activities she does and he said 3. Dance, Karate and Soccer...soccer games are on Friday nites.
I told him the poor child was exhausted and maybe need to cut back, her brain is over tired if she can't think to kick the ball in front of her.
My naturally athletic (KOFF
My naturally athletic (KOFF KOFF) I mean oversized skids would often quit in mid season. Wrestling, Football, T Ball, Soccer (both kinds--indoor and out)
BM was always disappointed when skids quit an activity that she could milk CS $$$$$ for. She used to try and have Chef talk the skids back into the activities. Chef would say "if you don't think it's right for you, then don't do it; how about concentrating on your studies?" Which would immediately send said skid into some other froo froo extra-curricular.
Oh did I mention that all three skids have absolutely abysmal grades? Yet the BM twists the administrators arms (most of which SHE went to school with) to keep the skids in; even with horrid grades.