Engagement Party in the Lion's Den

Good Morning to my new favourite people. I can't tell you how much support I have felt already in the few short days I have been here and reading your posts, replies and sharing in your pain and sameness... Thank you for that, I am already taking a new approach with the daily drama and disengaging as I have read so often here, "disengage".
More on that another time... More pressing right now is my SD25's engagement party. I mentioned briefly in a past post that it was hosted my DH's ex's sister's house. 65 guests, 80% of the guests are all on the ex's side of the family and 99% of them are JW. I recently mentioned some religious turmoil, I don't want to talk about religion here, there are good things and not so good things about most religions... it just makes it further more complicated to add religion into the mix of blended families and such. So, the one "worldly girl" there is me. The DH is not really JW anymore but just trying to keep the peace so he can be a part of his daughter's wedding, and life.

Anyway, I have received some great advice about how to conduct myself at this party and I am still just sweating at the thought of it all.
When my DH and I got together 7 years ago... I was called and assumed to be "the other woman". When in fact there was no over lap etc... however feelings are feelings and slander and drama is rampant. The ex and I are on fine working terms now. We have met on several occasions with wine or tea to discuss the children and plans. We are cordial and some what comfortable. However... parenting decisions continue to divide us and baggage of course.
So, this Saturday I am putting on my heels and mingling with people who want to hate me or already do.
I have bought a new dress, "tea length" I will look great, but not distracting or dumpy. (I am slightly younger than his ex so the feeling of the young new bride is evident).
I don't want to cling to my DH all night, I would like to be able to chat or seem confident without holding on to him. Being near by of course but I don't want to be seen as clinging and such.
Argghhh.... they don't care about me anyway... so I need to not care... but being among them all for maybe 2 or 3 hours... ugh. I feel sick.

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Comments

I agree... I am over thinking

I agree... I am over thinking it a lot... I am sure it will be fine. SuperJew, I don't have a problem with religion... it is this one in particular that has caused a lot of pain and angst for us. It has and is a fine organization for those who are in it... for those who question or are on the outside... it can be very difficult. I would happily take switch out for Judaism, Islam, Buddhism even some good old Southern Baptist... They all have very great qualities as does being a Witness... but for us in this case it has proven to be quite difficult. I am very open and embracing when it comes to things I do not know or understand and I have tried very hard to be open and embracing in this case... It is just difficult, there is a lot of hypocrisy that is challenging to swallow. But thank fully for me they are drinkers in this group of JWs so at least everyone will be a little loser.
Thanks for the support.

ha ha no they were divorced!

ha ha no they were divorced! legally but not in Jehovah's eyes! yikes!

This is a suck fest no matter

This is a suck fest no matter how you look at it. If you don't go (which would be awesome!!!) everyone will chatter about how you are the evil step mom who doesn't care about SD blah de blah blah. If you DO go, then you get to be uncomfortable in your own skin.

But if it were me, I would do what you are doing and suck it up and go. I would act like I didn't have a care in the world. I would strut in there on DH's arm like I owned the place. I would make small talk with whoever, and just act like I was having the best time. Don't ever let THEM know that they bother you! And so what if you cling to DH? He's your husband. You don't really know a lot of people there, so who in your position would not do the same thing? Who cares what the they think or say. Certainly NOT you I hope!