Those with EOW - how do you handle school paperwork/info between households?
Do you save everything up for the whole week and send it to the other parent's house when they go back? Or do you just let each other know if something is important?
What about school projects...lets say you get something on a Thursday that needs to be done by the end of the next week. Do you try to get it done right away or do you let the other parent take care of it because it's due the week they have the skid?
This is new territory for us so I'd love suggestions on what is best!
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Ugh, flashbacks. Evil, awful
Ugh, flashbacks. Evil, awful flashbacks.
I used to try to handle what I could in our home. Inevitably, I got in "trouble" with BM for doing the project with HER kid, or I got in "trouble" for leaving it all to BM to handle.
I was SAHM, both she and DH worked, so I usually took care of it...
Yes, this happened to us one
Yes, this happened to us one time last year, too. There was one time when BM got all pissy and said that because I am "crafty" (of course in the most condescending tone) that I should be helping SD6 with her artsy school projects, since I have all the supplies at my house and she doesn't have anything (um markers and construction paper). Oh, and because I have a teaching license it should be my job too... Right?
Well then she got pissed at me a few months later because I did this really big project -- we made Sponge Bob out of 100 sponge pieces for the 100th day of kindergarten -- with SD6 and she got all these compliments on it from her teacher. So basically BM was embarrassed because she didn't even konw what the teacher was talking about.
We tell nothing...It is up to
We tell nothing...It is up to the child if they want to. Good thing for us is they use Infinite Campus so that each parent can see the grades and homework. We used to tell BM things if it came on our week, but she didn't reciprocate, so we stopped. Communication is non-existent now...
I really love the
I really love the scanning/emailing idea....it makes sense. BM doesn't have a scanner though so it wouldn't be reciprocated.
at our house I scan paperwork
at our house I scan paperwork and email to the other parent. If it is something really important i still scan and email but I also call just incase my xhusband doesnt get to his email right away.
projects if it is something that can wait I hold until she gets home but if its needed right after the weekend, I get everything that is needed for the project and send to her fathers. he is very good about doing projects/homework with her as needed.
when my step sons come to our house DH EWife does the same with projects and sends the project details and we take care of it. the school itself sends us a copy of all important papework.
Well, The BM in our case
Well, The BM in our case tells DH nothing. Zip. Zero. BM would call DH every once in a while informing him of conferences, meetings etc....10 minutes before they were to happen. Now, DH goes to the office and has to show them his court ordered Parenting Plan to get on the schools mailing list, as well as the contact info list. DH talks to the teachers through email or on Monday mornings when he drops SD off.
As for homework, DH helps SD with projects and homework when she is here. After that, it's out of his hands (And usually it doesn't get done/turned in after she leaves our house) :sick:
When my kids were younger we
When my kids were younger we had a folder in each of their school backpacks that stayed there. All school papers went in it. I left them there for a week or so, long enough that I knew exH had a chance to see them, then cleaned it out. We also kept a small notebook in there when they were younger to allow a way to pass information back and forth. We kept the teachers up to date with our system which gave them an opportunity to use the notebook also.
Projects get started in one house and finshed in the other when possible, otherwise whosever time it is gets the chore.
I tend to be a bit controlling with school info and paperwork because exH likes to forget I exist. So if I take care of it and share with him we all know what's going on.
I've found that email is our best method of communication. I shoot him a quick email with updates every day or so. Sports schedule changes, homework assignments, that kind of thing.
It's WAY easier now that they are a little older and more responsible for their own stuff.
I LOVE this notebook idea! I
I LOVE this notebook idea! I wonder if we can get BM on board with it.
We do have a folder in her backpack, but the teacher says it should be emptied every night. So maybe we'll just keep a pile of all the stuff that's important (not just projects and whatnot) and on the last day put it back in the backpack.....hmmm.
And I'm just like you...I like to know what's going on at all times and I'm very organized that way. My ideal way to do all of this would be to scan paperwork and email and such, but BM would never put forth the effort to reciprocate (and then we also have her biodad to deal with...).
Our school does the folder
Our school does the folder thing too and likes it to be emptied every night. So we just added a second folder to move things to for holding until both parents can review.
Start with the teacher. If you can get the teacher on board then BM will only look crazy if she tries to resist the attempt to keep everyone in good communication.
I did email the teacher on
I did email the teacher on Friday afternoon for suggestions so hopefully I get something in response this week! I agree...keeping teacher on board helps everything out (I was a teacher...had to relocate, so I'm job hunting!).
Bubble butt tells dh NOTHING
Bubble butt tells dh NOTHING zip zero! If they have anything going on that is due for monday she uses that to keep them! She doesn;t say anything til fri, and expects dh to not get them. The boys have started telling dh about their stuff that they want him to go to b/c they know bubble butt won't. I have told dh the few times he complains about it that he needs to go to the school and have them send stuff to him but he hasn't. So every time he does complain I met him with that same answer, if he doesn't do anything about it then don't complain.
HAH! Yeah...this will be a
HAH! Yeah...this will be a rough road but hopefully we can figure it out after we all agree on a method. BM gets pissed when I try to communicate with her via email so anything I do from now on will be signed with FDH's name...but I'm sure she'll figure that out. Whatever.
Glad to see BF and I are not
Glad to see BF and I are not alone. Last year SS6 was in kindergarten and we had so many issues.
We tried scanning stuff in and emailing it nightly but BM never sent anything back on her weeks. So we stopped that - and by we I mean ME of course:) Because BF works a lot.
We tried making copies but BM would only copy what she wanted us to know often one side of things, leaving out some information. Or she would txt us - usually incorrect information. Then get angry when we asked to see the paper.
BF called the School and went in to talk to them. BM had signed SS6 up are a single family home, so he fixed that. But then she listed herself as primary and told the school that she would tell BF what he needed to know - she never did.
We tried contacting the teachers and letting them know the situation. I put a folder in the bag for copies but BM would either emptied it or the teacher never sent stuff because it came to our house empty.
This year we are trying to find out who the teachers are but of course everything got sent to BM's house and I think she is with holding information because she knows BF wants to talk to the teachers. And none of her stories add up. BF has been trying to contact the school but they keep saying that stuff was sent out and he should get it soon. It will help that I am supposed to be watching SS6 after school this year so I can make copies of everything but for some reason I am not watching SS4 who is in pre-k. So we will have issues getting information there I am sure.
This is never ending.
Have your BF call the school
Have your BF call the school and find out who the teachers are himself.
Last week, I emailed the counselor asking for the teacher's name and email address. Then I emailed SD6's teacher and explained the situation (just enough for her to understand it, but kept it pretty generic) and asked for her suggestions on how to get information about the activities going on.
She said she will add us to her email list and that she sends out a paper calendar every month and also emails it. That will help a lot! BM doesn't know I contacted the teacher.