Stress from skid resulting in physical symptoms
Does anyone have this problem? SS11 has been here for almost a month and he's same old skid- sulky, unfriendly, rude and selfish. He has maybe said 30 words to me the entire time he's been here. I am basically disengaged, but just his negative black cloud presence has resulted in horrible cluster headaches that started not too long after he arrived, insomnia, and general lack of well-being. I know that some of it is anxiety due to my being an introvert, so anyone other than my DH and two kids in the house for long periods is stressful, but some of it is because he is who he is. DH has "talked" to him, but no changes. He's a creepy, sneaky kid who ignores the baby competely and says little to my toddler.
And I don't know if this is normal or not for his age (I'm thinking not) but my toddler had a playdate with a neighborhood toddler, a little 2.5year old girl and they were playing in the kiddie pool and in the sprinklers, and SS was just sitting there in the backyard, staring at the little girl in her bathing suit and sitting too close to where the toddlers were playing. I was so creeped out by it and I could tell my friend didn't like it, so I took SS aside and told him to go do somethign else, that his behavior was coming off as weird. He tried to make up some excuse, but I wasn't having it.
Just wondering if anyone else gets ill when skids are around.
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Over five years of raising
Over five years of raising hardbroke YSD, I developed colitis and learned how wonderful hives can be - not. I also learned all about red wines and which stores offered the cheapest prices on liquor.
Crown royal girl, myself. One
Crown royal girl, myself. One of the benefits to a military man is the package store on base! Lol
I'm very lightweight! Alcohol
I'm very lightweight! Alcohol also gives me headaches and anxiety. Can't self-medicate that way.
Yep! I feel like death most
Yep! I feel like death most days.
Yes
I've posted the same question. I did have many and I did self-medicate sometimes the same as exjuliemccoy. I swear I've been sicker these last seven years that I would have been if I had been single. The anxiety causes your mind to churn which makes interrupts sleep which causes tiredness and irritability which causes things to seem worse which causes anxiety which...
Regarding the "just sitting there" I've also seen that. At the beginning, when they were a little younger than your SS and until about 13 (it took a while), they did just sit there and stare sometimes. It was completely off-putting. Emotionless. For them it wasn't malicious. They just had absolutely zero idea of how to entertain themselves and were basically "paused" until DH or someone gave them something to do. They had very stunted social skills, to the point they cried and threw tantrums like toddlers if they felt they weren't getting their way. Luckily I had DS (un-lucky for DS?) who is just slightly older, found neighborhood friends (the skids had never done this), and those kids all modeled normal behaviors that DH saw and finally realized his kids needed some pushing.
Thanks for the info re: the
Thanks for the info re: the just sitting there. Yes, he is definitely "paused" until given instructions for ANYTHING. No self-motivation or ownership.
I tried to make a new comment
I tried to make a new comment but my internet isn't cooperating and will only let me reply. I started out having panic attacks when I knew ss11 was coming and when he'd show up unannounced. Now I have a three month old and for the last month I have been waking up sore all over. My muscles are stiff and they hurt. You can touch me lightly and I'll scream in pain. I went to the doctor and she knew immediately. Fibromyalgia. She has it as well. I've been researching and you can develop it from stress. I feel that I got this from all of the aggravation I deal with. It makes you feel exhausted. Some days I don't want to do anything. I do take good care of my baby though. I will not let that little seed demon keep me down. lol
I started getting panic
I started getting panic attacks when I was married to an abusive SOB. They had almost gone away- like months in between them. Then when things were ramping up with SS and court about 2 years ago they started back. They are still pretty regular.
While preparing for things and talk to DH about hearings I get the shakes. Like I should be standing in a blizzard. Just shaking uncontrollably.
Xanex and Whiskey my friend... it is all I got.
I've definitely aged faster with the stress...
I also get headaches, insomnia, and generally physically feel like crap when there's something really stressful going on with skids. I've always had anxiety but pretty much had it managed until I made the big lifestyle change to steplife. Went back to therapy, tried some meds, and adjusted backed to manageable again. It took a few years, though, honestly. I don't take anything prescribed now, but Sagely CBD products helped...oh, and Chamomile Tea. :) I tend to put on the pounds with stress too, so I'm sure that doesn't help. Geez...we all need to treat ourself better, huh?
I swear I'm gonna hang a big beautiful sign in the living room that says, "Please be responsible for the energy you bring to this space." That sulky, blank, unable to entertain themselves thing is bad for the vibes!
Someone needs
to put a warning label on men with children.
WARNING: Hooking up with Daaaadddeeeee can be hazardous to your mental, spiritual and physical health leading to premature aging and death.
You should have DH
Make Arrangements for SS to do something during the day, some type of camp. What purpose does it serve to have SS haveing nothing to do all day but starting at 2,5 YO. This is DH fault for dump him on you,, so you are his entertainment. Or his entertainment director. You need to talk to DH and tell him you are not babysitting his kid anymore, if he can not arrange stuff for SS. He should stay with BM
Yes, you're right. This visit
Yes, you're right. This visit is almost over but for next year, SS has to go to camp, maybe even an overnight one for a week or so.